She's had anal sex before, lots, but won't with me?!?

Basically my girlfriend of nearly 6 months and I have had a lot of fun in bed (and the living room etc). But we were talking about other stuff to do and she said she'd had anal with her 1 previous long term boyfriend and enjoyed it, even come through it and using a toy, but I'm too big in the girth dept and she won't do it "i'll kill her" and apparently her ex was thinner... she's very open with stuff, just the two of us and I don't really know what to think or do now. shall I give up?! she's paranoid now that it'll just try to slip it in or force her when we play act. But I know better than to do that "by surprise", but it does seem unfair that she did this a lot with her ex but won't with me. I'm not HUGE downstairs, just a bit thicker than the average I guess?! Ladies any help? guys, you been here, how can I talk her around?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Bottom line is a woman should never tell her man anything about her past that she is not willing to do with her present partner, because it poisons the mans mind.

    I am going throught he exact same experience as you.

    If a woman love you she will do anything with you she has done with an ex, just as you will do anything with her as you have done with an ex.

    You need to do this as I do or it will always poison your mind.

    Again nice guys ALWAYS FINISHES LAST AND THIS HAS PROVEN IT WITH YOU AS WITH ME.

    If she is not willing to do it then she does not love you that is the tuth as I am finding out.

    Woman should never tell their men there intimate secrets because men can not take it, and we think differently than woman.

    Again you need to do anal with her to get it out your mind, and if she has done it before and went through with it, then she will do it again, anything should go between 2 lovers, especially if they have done it before, do it or it will poison you as it is poisoning me, write back and tell me what happened.

    Just be a real man and not a nice guy, because we allways finish last and you know that now.

    • Hey bro I've been in the same boat too. I also don't really know what to do. I've had anal sex in my past relationships in high school and all were great for both me and the other girls. I've been with my girl now for about 2 years now. I've brought it up multiple times and the awnser has always been absolutely not. I love it because it shows me that there willing to submit to me and that they love me. but it's also poisoning my mind that she won't. I've thought about cheating but I don't ever want to do that and breaking up has come across my mind so much. I love her so much but I also love anal sex. What should I do

  • I know what you're going through. My gf that says she wants to marry me has given up anal once for 3 minutes. I have an average sized penis and her ex had a 10 inch monster. She tells me that she only does anal when she is in the mood. Last night however I heard her telling her friend about how she trained herself to do anal with the 10 inches and eventually had amazing orgasms from it. I can't help but feel some type of way that she went so above and beyond for him (she said he was a fling) but she won't even consider trying with me again. I'm hurt by this

    • It will eat at your mind if you never get it so my advice is to break up because she obviously doesn't love you enough to do it if she literally went that far for a "fling" who has 10 inches and she said she had amazing orgasms from it yet won't do it with you and you are average meaning she either thinks you're 2 small which isn't a healthy relationship to be in or she doesn't love you enough to do it with you. Take my advice and don't stay with a woman who won't sacrifice for you (assuming you sacrifice for them) so overall my advice is she isn't worth your time because ultimately it's saying you aren't as worthy as just a fling even though you are in an actual relationship

Most Helpful Girls

  • I used to have anal with my ex and it was very pleasurable for me. My current boyfriend is only about a 1/2 inch longer, but thicker and when I tried it with him, it was painful, so we don't really do it. My boyfriend is cool with it and I'm glad he doesn't expect me to do something painful for the sake of his pleasure.

    If it's really important to you, I would suggest maybe seeing if she'd like to explore anal play with you using fingers or a small anal toy. If you peak her interest about anal again, she might be more open to trying anal sex with you (maybe post-using a toy because she might be more relaxed and prepared for it).

  • It's not fair, but it's not wrong either. I'm sorry if it's frustrating for you but you'll just have to live with it. Every relationship is different because every person is different. If she doesn't feel comfortable doing it with you, she doesn't feel comfortable doing it with you. You could try asking her if she'd be willing to just TRY, if you were very careful and promised to stop if it hurts. But that's about all you can do.

  • It's unfair.So if she told you she shoved a dildo up her ex bf's ass and you said no but she says she deserves to do so,you'd let her?

    • If I told her I did that with an ex and enjoyed it but she can't then THAT would be unfair... I'm not trying to be unreasonable here, and if I was very big downstairs then it would have to be a case of fair enough, but for me to be much bigger than her ex he must have been a pencil. Just strikes me as odd that its fun and she's OK with it, but not with me as I'd hurt her? we've done everything else and she's very physical so it can't be trust or lack of chemistry.,,,,

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 5
  • sounds like she doesn't trust you.

  • She must have a small ass. If you've a wide d***, it hurts down there. And if you've a really tight backside, y'know. It could rip open, bleed for sh*t, and lead to mad infections and in effect, kill you. So, y'know. SHE KNOWS HER BACKSIDE BETTER THAN YOU MATEEEE.

    Just live with it, ey?

  • if girth is the only thing she is worried about she could at least try

  • You should "accidental" re-direct your d*ck into her ass and hold her down. She's had done it before so why is she being picky about it right now? She's needs to learn how to serve man properly...

  • My girlfriend at first didn't want to do anal as she thought it would hurt (she was an anal virgin) so I started fingering her ass with one finger and she enjoyed it. During vaginal sex at times I would put one finger into her ass, then two. She now loves anal sex. I think for us it was that she knew I would never hurt her, she could trust me and she knew that if she said stop I would. I wouldn't try slipping it in there by accident as before you knew it she would tell you to f*** off.

  • Simply put,its not fair, a penis is an

    awful big to be the first

    thing you stick up

    someone's butt . Better to

    start with something smaller

    and work your way up.

    Fingers are an excellent

    beginning point. Use one

    finger, then two, to initiate

    your partner into the

    mysteries of anal

    penetration.