Should I be embarrassed while getting intimate with my boyfriend?

We have only been going out for 2 weeks but we've known each other for 4 years of high school. We are both seniors and it isn't like I haven't done anything before. I am not a virgin (I lost it while intoxicated over the summer) and I've done everything else. He hasn't gone as far as me but he has done stuff. We were really horny last night hanging out so we drove to this park and started making out. We got to my backseat and we did some foreplay and I ended up giving him head...I was completely naked...I had underwear on though. He hasn't really gotten head before so he was enjoying it a lot. I felt like I was pressured...the way he positioned himself and said, "I wanna ask you something but not be perverted." And I was giving him a handy and said that he wasn't hard and he said, "If you just do it it'll get hard again." And he didn't push my head down but I felt like his movements encouraged me to head down south...it wasn't forceful but I thought why not? Since I've done it before. Afterwords, I got really embarrassed. He felt horrible and said we wouldn't have to do that stuff again... I just really care about this guy and I don't want him to look at me any differently because I've known him for so long and I really like him and care about him. He said he would never look at me any differently but I still feel super weird from what went down. I like being intimate I just want him to respect me and I don't want to look easy.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • There is no reason why you should feel bad. You also should not worry about how he sees you: after all, whatever it is you think you did, he did as well and so he really had no moral ground to see you in a bad light.

    However, there is something that raises a red light with me... Something in the way you speak makes me feel like you do not feel completely safe (or cared for) with him... (why? could be because you think that he could think badly of you and/or because you feel that he slightly pushed you into something...?) On some level you are not getting what you would like from him and maybe that makes you feel not safe. Sure he re-assured you but also he seemed embarrassed without telling you why. This embarrassment might hint to you that he was feeling something that he did not share and so you take it personally... the more honest you are with him, and vice versa, the easier it will be to set things straight again. Does he feel bad that he pushed you, but will not admit it? do you feel pushed but did not tell him so? Did that make you feel like he does not care as much as you wish he did otherwise he would not do it? If so, tell him that. After all, with all the talk about how males/females should act in their respective gender roles, anyone can make a mistake, push a bit and then regret it (especially someone with no experience). Do not pretend nothing happened because if he feels ashamed who knows where that might lead you. Above all, see what really bothers you. Why are you scared, really? Sexual relationships are a beautiful part of life and that can not be it.

    Best of luck.

    P.S. Also, you might want to consider your words "...but I thought why not? Since I've done it before". Every experience and person is unique and beautiful, so do not diminish it's importance because then you really might feel bad (making light of intimate things can make you feel cheap)... admit that you are human and that these things really ARE important.

    • I feel safe with him. As I said I've known him for 4 years. He is a REALLY great guy and very caring. He treats me like a princess and he felt so terrible afterwords, I could see it in his face. In all honestly I want to do those things I just don't want to make it the center of the relationship.

  • how old are you guys..? and I mean did it happen without any alcoholic stuff? you both wanted it right?

    • He is 17...I'm 18. We are both seniors in High School. And no we were completely sober and it was wanted but now I feel embarrassed and whorish.

    • Okay but you guys were friends before right? I mean you went out just for 2weeks with you maybe he just wanted to have sex with you.. meet up with him more often and see how he reacts.. I mean you gota make sure he won't tell around that he had sex with you.. because than everybody will look at you like oh this girl is easy to have..

    • No I know for a fact that isn't what he wanted. He even told me himself that we wouldn't have to do that stuff again. I saw how terrible he felt after what happened. He is a virgin as well and he told me he doesn't want to rush sex because he wants it to be meaningful. I know he isn't using me I just felt a little weird...

  • He's your boyfriend, you shouldn't be embarrassed...

    • I feel embarrassed because we've only been going out for 2 weeks and that happened...

Most Helpful Guy

  • If he is your boyfriend you should be able to do whatever( him permiting) and be just fine...dont be embarrassed

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  • Are you guys from long island new york?

    • ? No...VA.