Should I feel offended that my boyfriend asked for a bj ?

We are together from 3 years now .. so our relation is serious, I gave him bjs before.. but last night he actually asked for it while we were making out .. and I laughed because it felt weird .. I was gonna go for it , but the fact that he asked made me feel awkward.. I also kinda felt for a minute there that he was using me or something .. I did of course and he came really fast so I asked why .. and he said that he wanted to ejaculate fast so we could continue making out while he's more relaxed.. Although I did give him bjs before , I'm still kinda new to it for some reason .. I'm not sure why did he came fast exactly.. would you guys please enlighten me :) thanks
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm not to sure what you did that made him come so fast but it means you did something right. It usually takes me dam near forever to get off on a bj alone. As for him asking you; as you said, you two have been together for three years and obviously its a serious and exclusive relationship. You need to be able to be open with each other about what you want and need so don't take it personally when he asks you, that means He's being open with you. Not to mention if you have been together that long, you both pretty much have a right to use one another for sex ( unless its abusive obviously ). A lot of women take offense to guys asking for bj's when in reality he would most likely be more than willing to return the favor.

    ***just a little side note: Hustler Magazine ran a study where they asked prostitutes and escorts to give women one piece of advice for keeping a man faithful. The number one answer was "learn to enjoy going down on him and do it often". Just an FYI to all women who may not know.

  • You were making out with him and it was turning him on a lot. He probably started to feel all tensed up from being so turned on and he needed to release the tension or he felt like he was going to explode. I've started getting all shaky before and feeling weird when making out and I get too turned on.

    He's probably telling the truth that he wanted to ejaculate so he could keep making out. He came fast because he was so turned on and it felt good for him. I think it's normal that he asked you in that situation. You can always ask for him to do stuff to you afterward also..

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't think you "should" feel offended, but that doesn't mean your feelings were wrong. However, rest assured that it doesn't sound like he had any intention of using you. There is nothing inherently wrong with making requests like that, as long as it is done respectfully. So, try to use that to your advantage (i.e. you can ask him for things too if you want) instead of letting it make you feel awkward!

  • I would not be offended at all. The longer you are together, the more comfortable you become with each other and the more open you are about your sexual needs. That is a very good thing in a relationship. My boyfriend asks for blow jobs all the time. He asks because I am his partner and he loves me.

  • No, he is your boyfriend.

    There is no reason you should feel used unless he is a random guy.

    He takes you seriously, he loves you, you turned him on and he wanted to release his physical desires.

    Theres nothing wrong with that, unless he asks for it all of the time.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I wouldn't take the ejaculating fast as anything really, he wanted something, you gave it to him, it happened.

    I wouldn't be offended if I were you. You should be comfortable enough with your partner that you (and them) can ask for what you want sexually. As long as he pleases you when you want it I wouldn't worry about it. Men don't stick around for three years for a blow job, he's not using you.

  • I really don't understand why you would feel offended.

    Being able to talk openly about our desires is a good component of a relationship, not a bad one!

    It's good that your boyfriend feels comfortable enough to tell you what he wants, including in bed.

  • Well in 3 years it seems like he hardly gets them. Wen was the last time you did one?

  • Why would you feel offended? Part of being in a relationship should mean enjoying meeting each others's needs, and we shouldn't have to guess at them. If he was really in the mood for something, he should be able to say so, as should you.

    As for why he finished so fast, I suspect he was very, very, horny, to the point he couldn't relax and make it slowly with you. So he asked you to get him off quickly so he could calm down and take his time making out.

  • If he asked for bj's often and didn't return the favor ever or do anything to please you then I think you could feel offended. But asking for one bj in 3 years is really no big deal. The fact of the matter is he enjoys them, clearly you are good at them, and he only vocalized a sexual desire at the moment.

    If it were to become some constant request or it seemed like he was only using you for oral sex then you may have a right to be legimately offended. But you two are in a relationship and being able to vocalize your sexual desires and being open to mutually pleasing each other is part of the relationship...

  • I ask for bjs all the time. He might have been super horny.

  • You got offended because he asked for what he wants - sexually? Because he likes YOUR blowjobs? Did you ever stop to think that he needed relief from "Blue Balls" that were caused by doing what you were doing?

    Why did he ejaculate so fast. Anticipation, needs, he was already at and beyond that point hence blue balls.

    If one does not ask, then he looses out - nothing ventured nothing gained.

    Communication is key in ANY relationship, he is communicating you are not.