Sleeping around at university?

[Anonymous]

is 7 guys a lot to sleep with in the first year of university (free and single) I was shocked to find out my girlfriend did, her overall number is 10 including me (shes 21) so 70% of them were in her first year at uni, mostly drunken one night stands so I'm told,but she also dated a cpl of them for a very brief period. she had just come out of a 2 year relationship and first time living away from home? is this normal to go a bit out of control? as her personality and attitude towards sex doesn't match the numbers now i personally think its a lot in the short amount of time..im not saint in this department but even I think its a lot?

[ElijahCynicism]

She was promiscuous for that part of her life. It doesn't matter if you or I think it's a lot, it's part of who she is, it's part of the fabric of her history. Do you accept that?

Whats too much is far too relative. I mean, if you come from small towns in the bible belt of America, that's a f***ing, like, HUGE number of men, that's like, 'WOAAH'. If you were up in the Bois de Boulogne from around 1920-1980, 7 guys would be like, PRUDENT. It wasn't uncommon for them to accumulate over a thousand partners in a year or two.

So, f*** what everyone else things is too much or not enough. What do YOU think? You think it's a lot. So, what's the consequence of that, to you? Does it change how you see her? Can you accept her? Does it matter?

Maybe it's something you can't deal with - if so, disperse her. Maybe she's so fantastic that she overwhelms it. Maybe then you'll get a new perspective - maybe you won't so demonise people who are heavily promiscuous, maybe you'll think it's okay, if it can produce someone as great as her. Decide for yourself.

[Anonymous]

No, it's not a lot. It may even be higher than what she's told you, but told you a number she thought you'd be okay with.

Clearly you're not okay with it though.

[Anonymous]

It's probably above average, but really doesn't mean anything in the larger scope of her sexuality. People react to the ending of a relationship in different ways and I'd be more concerned with her attitudes towards relationships and men than the number of people she happened to sleep with.

I'd get to know my girlfriend rather than resenting that you're not getting the oodles of sex you think she had before you. One night stands are usually a sign of low sex drive, in fact. Someone who has a strong drive to have sex often will look for more frequent pairings.

[Anonymous]

If her attitude now isn't what you'd expect, then feel safe in the fact that she's a different girl now. She probably wouldn't act like that ever again. She just got out of a 2 year relationship to boot. Lots of people go wile their freshman year and do things they wouldn't do again later. It's not that much, most girls I know have a number like that, but if it's a problem for you you should get out now before you hurt her later. She can't change her past.

[justlilly]

It is normal to go a bit out of control. I wouldn't hold it against her if I were you, because obviously she slowed down after that. Now someone who sleeps with 7 new people EVERY YEAR. That is a problem.