So, I think I'm sexually attracted to women, but emotionally attached to men...

[Anonymous]

so, does this make me bi, or gay or straight? because I've asked people and they say "oh, well, if your only sexually attracted to women, then your gay regardless if you have any other feelings". Cause, I don't get crushes on girls at all, I just wanted to kiss them and that's it, but whenever I date a guy, I immediately get emotionally attached (yeah,i know it's bad, I'm working on that). But is there any real definition to tell if I go one way more than the other? Cause I really want to know, but don't want to experiment (mostly cause I'm not loose like that, and I have yet to meet a guy, (or maybe a girl.) that meets both physical and emotional standards, so I don't know what to do). and it bothers me all the time cause I want to know.

[jacquesvol]

The majority of people have bi sexual tendencies at some moment or another but suppress them because society shuns it (Leviticus, Saint Paul, Quran etc) It is a leftover from times gone by, when procreation REALLY was a number one priority for the tribe, even for mankind. Social judgment is more severe on guys than on girls (in this particular domain (I suppose this finds its origins in the horrible reality that a woman could always be raped to bear children.)

At this stadium, socially speaking, with 6.5 bn humans on earth it would even be a good thing if a large part of them found fulfillment in homosexual relationships rather than make kids they can not feed or give an education.

If you're emotionally attracted to men, chances are that at a certain moment you'll want sex too.

As long as it doesn't impair your functioning, don't worry about it.

[l-hedoniste]

To your central question, whether there's any real definition: no, there isn't.

Unfortunately for you, experimenting is the only way to figure out what you want; it's how most of us figure it out. You don't have to jump in the sack with everyone you meet, but you need to have enough relationships to figure out who works for you, sexually and emotionally. And the more complicated your sexuality is, the more relationships you'll go through, because your needs are more specific.

If I were forced to place a bet, I'd say you were gay--our relationships tend to follow our sex drive, rather than lead it--but your relationships will eventually reveal to you who you are.

[thelittlethings]

I think most women find other women attractive. I have kissed girl's, I have had urges to kiss girls. Is that the extent of it though? Do you want to go down on them? Do you want to fool around with them? If it's just the kissing then you are straight! Of course everyone likes women, they're amazing! Hello, Katy Perry's song "I kissed a girl and I like it" It seems that's what you're going through. If it is more though and you would like to fool around with girls you could be gay, or even just curious. Just do what feels right, not what society tells you is right.

[djstizl]

I'm not an expert on this, but I agree with thelittlethings. Everyone has there own individual sexuality. If you have sexual thoughts about girl, don't be upset by it. A place you might want to visit and chat on the forum is link. The people on the site are quite nice and will offer advice and share experiences. There is nothing wrong with being bi, its actually quite fun.

[Asker]

Yeah, but it's weird. if I tell myself, "hey your bi and you like girls" and accept the urges I get around girl, they all go away. like I have this friend that's attractive, and I think about kissing her, but then one time she got close and was going to kiss me goodbye on the cheek (cause she's like that), all the feelings went away. like right now, I don't really feel anything around girls, and I have stronger feelings for guys. it's just weird, but thanks!

[Atomizer]

To my understanding, psychologists and medical experts classify sexual orientation based on who you fantasize about having sex with most.

[Jarett]

I answered this on another post, so I am just going to copy and paste.

You're probably young. Every girl has a natural attraction to other girls. Girls naturally get closer to each other then guys do. They hug each other, talk a lot closer, kiss on the cheek, get a lot more emotionally involved, sleep in the same bed, change in front of each other, and possibly even shower together. So there is an emotional attachment that girls feel towards other girls. And also the fact that girls just naturally have attractive bodies. It doesn't make you a lesbian, and it doesn't even make you bi. I think a lot of girls just think they're bi because they feel these attractions, so they kind of live into that role that they think they are. But it's natural hun. You're young and curious. Doesn't make you lesbian, and doesn't make you bi.

[ski-stud-mike]

You are not attracted to girls! that's what the media tells you to be. Yes, guys think lesbian action is hot, so most girls decide it is too. But its not natural! Stick with guys.

[iformshadears]

Not natural? You ignorant moron. If its not natural then why have people and animals been having gay sex for hundreds of thousands of years? anything that happens in nature is natural. dipsh*t