Sexual Health
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STDs: In Case of Doubt, Say “No”

Having a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD), such as VIH or HPV; or even a Sexual Transmitted Infection (STI) is not motive of pride for anybody; our society has a lot of stigmas regarding people who suffer their symptoms and, let`s be honest, we rather prefer to stay away from them even if contagion can only happen through sexual relations and in most cases can be prevented by the use of condoms.

But in the realm of STDs “ignorance is bliss”: you really start worrying about it when you already have them or somebody tells you that he or she has one and they “might” passed them to you, before that, we prefer to ignore their existence and trust that our “positive vibes” will repel any virus or infection. The sad news is you would need more than vibes and self-esteem to stay away from STDs and STIs.

Regardless the gender, studies suggest that one of the most difficult things for people who have STDs is finding a date; this is another reason why these people prefer to keep their STDs as a secret to themselves.

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For some reason, we women believe that STDs and STIs are more likely to come from our male partners and we cannot be the ones who pass them to men; this is why if you ask us, we would probably say that we do not have an STD even if we haven’t been tested since our last sexual partner, after all, it’s not like we know there`s something wrong and we chose not to tell you… most like: we don’t know for sure if everything’s ok, but we’re “kinda” confident it is, so we will say we don’t have an STD; plus, we want you to be with us.

On the other hand, not every woman knows that she is four times more likely to contract an STD or STI than she is to become pregnant and that the only STD that affects more men than women is syphilis; thus we continuing believing in the myth that we cannot be the source of these diseases and infections, which is completely wrong.

Talking about STDs with you partner is never easy, even you think you’re clear; maybe that’s why in Brazil there’s a website where you can send your partner (or ex partner) e-cards informing them that they “might” have an STD and that they should visit a doctor.

In reality, the big problem is that most of these diseases and infections are asymptomatic for most of the part. For example, nearly half of the US youths and adolescents are unaware of their HIV infection, and less than a quarter are tested for the virus. 80% of people with STDs do not experience noticeable symptoms, hence, you cannot tell if a girl has one just by looking (even really close) to her body.

Women believe that STDs and STIs are more likely to come from our male partners.

Even so, sometimes there are visible signs of STDs that you can see on your girlfriends or partners, such as unusual vaginal discharge, genital pimples, foul genital odor, rashes, sore throat, fatigue, etc. However, even this is tricky since they can be present in other diseases not related to STDs; for example, genital pimples do not necessarily mean that there is a sexual transmitted disease or infection present, but also indicate a simple case of genital acne.

The bottom line is if you see anything unusual in your partners genital or any strange sexual behavior, the most likely thing is that… there’s something that’s not right and in this case, it is better to prevent and not engage in any sexual contact with her or use a condom. Remember that unless you have been with your partner for a long time and have plenty of confidence in her, do not take her word in this matter if you suspect something is wrong, or you can end up with serious illnesses like HPV or VIH, at the end, we are not very different from men.

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