The Sexual Health Risks Nobody Thinks About

While I'm a known advocate on here for promiscuity without all the negative dogma and social stigma that's attached to this way of life, I accept that there are plenty of potential risks attached to having casual sex, many of these are STI related. To be honest, I'm not as educated on the subject as I would like to be and a lot of the information that comes up from research is quite vague in a lot of ways: it's hard to say how well-sourced or credible this information is. If you have better information, then by all means post in the comment section. However, I notice that most of the advice on the subject people give online and in schools is simplified to 'use a condom', 'only have monogamous sex', so I believe that what I have to say on this can be of use. There's a few reasons why this traditional advice misses the mark.

1. STI from long term relationships

The Sexual Health Risks Nobody Thinks About

'Even people who are in long term monogamous relationships can get STIs. Some STIs, such as herpes or HPV, can lie dormant in a person for months or years before they are diagnosed. For example, the most common test for herpes is a swab of a suspected lesion; testing for herpes is not standard practice, so it is possible that a person may have herpes for years and not know it until they pass the infection to a partner.

Sometimes STIs are spread in ‘monogamous’ relationships because one partner is secretly having sex outside the relationship. Having more than one partner or having a partner that has more than one partner increases the chances of getting an STI.'

https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/sexual-health/sexually-transmitted-infections/can-i-get-sti-if

This is not to mention the question of what happens if your partner cheats on you and gives you a virus.

Also, there are many STIs that take a long time to show on test results. HIV can take a long time, so even if you and your partner have been tested it's a good idea to wait a while until the remaining results come out before you have sex without a condom.

2. Using a condom

The Sexual Health Risks Nobody Thinks About

'A condom can act as a barrier for fluids but it does not eliminate all skin-to-skin contact. As a result, transmission of STIs such as herpes, HPV, syphilis, pubic lice, or scabies can occur even if a condom isused.'

https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/sexual-health/sexually-transmitted-infections/can-i-get-sti-if

And conditions like herpes or HPV are often treatable but there is the risk, especially with genital herpes, that the virus will never go away. It is true that you can visually identify sores and lesions on the skin that would suggest genital herpes, HPV or scabies but with some of these conditions.

You also have to account for the fact that people often make mistakes putting condoms on:

putting the condom on wrong, putting the condom on too late (whatever that means!) and taking it off too soon are three of the most common errors people make according to this quick quiz:

https://www.webmd.com/sex/rm-quiz-condoms

Also, it is important to squeeze the air out of the nib of the condom and make sure it is not put on too tightly

STI from Oral Sex

The Sexual Health Risks Nobody Thinks About

Skilled lovers nowadays are expected to indulge in a little foreplay before sex. However, it seems that there are still risks attached.

'Herpes simplex virus (HSV), human papillomavirus (HPV), syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydiacan be passed between genitals and the mouth or throat. If you are concerned about STIs during oral sex then condoms or dental dams can lower the chances. Using flavoured condoms may add to the pleasure of sex.'
https://smartsexresource.com/about-stis/my-chances

This is not to mention how unsexy dental dams can look and how awkward it can be to suggest you use a dental dam or flavoured condom in bed: "why, don't you trust me?"

Sometimes if a guy refuses to go down on you ladies, it's NOT because he thinks your vagina is unsexy!

I'm not even sure if regular condoms are fine for oral sex or if a flavoured condom is recommended.

Anal Sex Condoms

The Sexual Health Risks Nobody Thinks About

The anus is a higher risk for contracting HIV and thus it is recommended you use a thicker condom. But strangely enough it seems that there is not a kitemarked condom for anal sex in UK and in the US there is no FDI approved brand. This is because the respective governments do not 'recommend' anal sex as a healthy activity. How homophobic!

I don't really plan on having anal sex personally but if I was homosexual or my partner wanted to try it, I would be very irritated about having to buy them online:

https://www.condom-sizes.org/best-condoms/best-condoms-anal-sex

Dura extra strength seems to be the best bet.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly this myTake just proves my beliefs that you have to really know someone before you have sex with them. I know everything about my partner and his history, and we've both been tested and have come up completely clean (even though we only had 1 partner before we got together we still wanted to make sure we were safe).

    And based on our values and our strong connection and our ability to manage through tough times together (been extremely poor, and if finances don't break you up you know you have a strong relationship) and have always been happy together.. well I know cheating won't be an issue.

    I'm on the pill and he hates condoms (so do I, really), but we're completely safe because we don't have any sexual diseases. It is a huge trust thing for us because basically we just have to trust that the other person won't cheat. But I know he won't with all of my heart (and I'd rather die before doing that to someone).

    Obviously 99% of people shouldn't be doing what my partner and I do because it IS a risk (but a small enough one that I'll risk it for my forever partner).

    • I used to disagree but I am coming more and more to this same conclusion.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I got an HPV infection (one small gw that I got surgically removed) after being in a long term monogamous relationship. I was completely devastated at first, but I later learned that HPV is extremely common but very few people get infections. I was a lucky lotto winner.

    Since then I've slept with four other women and I was upfront and honest with every one of them. None of them cared. One of them ending up liking me even more because I was honest.

    However I wish there was a anti viral gel that would protect against herpes/hpv. A condom only gives partial protection. Does anybody know of an anti viral gel/cream available?

    • that's good to know

    • do you know of any anti viral gels/cream?

    • *'Since then I've slept with four other women and I was upfront and honest with every one of them. None of them cared. One of them ending up liking me even more because I was honest. ' that's good to know

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • TL:DR don't be an idiot, and get yourself and your partner checked BEFORE doing anything.

    • tbh, even that is not necessarily true. as I quoted in the article, 'Even people who are in long term monogamous relationships can get STIs. Some STIs, such as herpes or HPV, can lie dormant in a person for months or years before they are diagnosed. For example, the most common test for herpes is a swab of a suspected lesion; testing for herpes is not standard practice, so it is possible that a person may have herpes for years and not know it until they pass the infection to a partner. Sometimes STIs are spread in ‘monogamous’ relationships because one partner is secretly having sex outside the relationship. Having more than one partner or having a partner that has more than one partner increases the chances of getting an STI.'

    • blood tests, bro. And don't date a hoe XD

    • true, although you don't have to be a hoe to get an STI from one guy that's slept with 20 girls or so.

  • I actually know a couple who had been together for 6 years. Both were very much committed to one another. From what the woman had told me, they tried anal sex for the first time and the very next morning they both ended up breaking out in sores. When they went to the doctor they actually told them that it was caused by the anal sex. Stating that anal sex is a very big percentage of the reason why HIV/AIDs/Herpes are transmitted, even if you are not cheating. Apparently (once again, from this woman said) one of them had herpes and was unaware and the anal sex (fluids) caused there to be an outbreak. I didn't even know this was possible until she told me. All the more reason for me to stay away from anal sex.

    • "Stating that anal sex is a very big percentage of the reason why HIV/AIDs/Herpes are transmitted, even if you are not cheating." That statement must come with caveats. The rest is just herpes, if they had been together for six years then they both had it. It's just that the infection reached a new area. It can happen the first time having vaginal sex or oral as well. Future anal for them probably won't result in more outbreaks. Point is, that's sex, not just anal.

    • that is such a freak incident, lol.

    • Right, this is true lol However, it scared me enough to steer clear of it. I'm the biggest freak when it comes to anything like that. If there is a possibility of anything along those lines then I tend to stay away from it. Especially in today's society when you never truly know. I was watching a live interview of the cast members from the Doctors show (not sure if you guys have seen it?) Where it stated that there has been a increase of 19% of children who were born with the Herpe virus because their mothers had transmitted the disease during child birth. Its a scary thought.

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  • Well their is well known documentation of the negative affects of promiscuity on the mind. Promiscuity has been linked to depression/anxiety, increased disatisatisfaction in relationships/marriages, increased divorce rates ( a person with one partner has a 1% chance of divorce, it jumps to 16% with the addition of another partner) increased probability of cheating (people who score in the upper 50% of the sociosexually unrestricted scale have a 50% probability of cheating) its been shown that depression creates promisucity and proimiscuity leads to it, the greater the enviormental stressors the more likely to be promisuis (women who have poor relationships with their fathers are far more likely to be promiscuis and at a younger age then women who do not.) So their are ample issues with promiscuity, all of which have been thouroughly documented.

    • good points on the psychological drawbacks of promiscuity but here is another perspective. 'Promiscuity has been linked to depression/anxiety' unwanted celibacy and virginity late in life can be linked to this also. 'increased disatisatisfaction in relationships/marriages, increased divorce rates' to be honest, being in a relationship where you are inexperienced is like to lead to feelings of both dissatisfaction and inadequacy. over time you might feel resentful towards your partner if they had a significantly larger sexual history than you prior to the relationship or marriage.

    • According to studies people who have fewer partners are actually happier with their relationships then people with more. Some call it a short term strategy (promiscuity) which would explain why it increases with external stressors, but this is actually not a preffered method of reproduction (we are investment parents after all and thats hard to do when your divorced/fighting) for the offspring as well as society. As for stress from being celibate, yes their are but that is as much to do with external forces (pressure to have sex as is ramapant in all forms of media and in all parts of society) as well as a negative view on sex to begin with ie its sinfull/dirty. These would be the cause not necessarily the lack of sex itself. I am obviously not promoting celibacy until marriage, it was a viable option historicly but with how society is now both with how men and women both work, both have to go to college if they want a carrer, longer life, all make that less viable.

    • I do think their is issues with mismatched sexual histories but from what the data says its more of an issue for men ie men are more likely to have issues if their girlfriend/wife have had many partners rather then the other way around (though it seems to be only a moderate margin) The adverse affects of promiscuity are also more prominent in women then men most likely due to biology as promiscuity has a greater detrimental affect on a woman what with childbirth being a far more energy/resource intensive process with potential fatal complications while for a man sex is a incredibly low cost/high reward situation hence them being less adverse to promiscuity.

  • I completely agree with all of this.
    I think it's incredibly important to discuss your sexual history with your partner (my newest partner knows about a chlamydia infection I had a couple of year ago), and for both to get tested. Most STIs can be tested for with a urine and blood test.

    • yea maybe monogamy is better...

    • Maybe, but it's really personal preference. If you have casual sex, just make sure you take every precaution. Use a condom, make sure he/she doesn't have any rashes/sores, etc.

    • with a condom you can still get herpes, HPV, etc.

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  • I'm such an idiot. And here I thought a condom was bullet proof. Informative article.

    • actually, I had made that mistake also. I didn't realise you could still contract herpes or HPV.

    • I just figured crabs were worth risking to have a sex life since they are not permanent.