"The true about being a *experienced* virgin in a group of *saints*" Also known as virgins shaming other virgins.

I really don't want to represent myself as me being overly bothered by this like the girl in the pic but I needed something about
I really don't want to represent myself as me being overly bothered by this like the girl in the pic but I needed something about

I'm not going to make a long post.

This is simply about virgins shaming another virgins. This happened to me so...

Yeah. It's seems dumb but it can simply be brought down to this: I never had sex of any form but I have masturbated (both rubbing and fingering). I consider myself a virgin since, in my perpective, you need to have done SOMETHING with another person to be a non-virgin. But then I have this girls shaming me because I tried to masturbate myself? And I don't get it? I mean, it's a safe way to explore myself and learn how to make myself feel good. There's nothing wrong with it. But they only look with disgust and I'm like "what?".

It hurts too, because they're my friends.

It's also enraging and stupid how they defend their behaviour. I said "what?" and you now what two of them said to me? "That just disgusting. If it had been a guy doing that to you it would be fine but doing it yourself is disgusting." Or even "If you want to do that you should just go and buy a dildo. It makes more sense".

And I just feel like these ideas are so archaic, God.

I'm pretty sure none of them even know exatcly how sex happens. And of course, I also lack experience but I know the theory of it, since, you know, I try to inform myself about my body? This is also another thing. If you show that you seem to know about sex in a more informed way then what they teach you at 12 (please do note my sarcasm), you will most likely get a weird look.

So, yeah, this was it. Me venting. Yupiiii ( please note my sarcasm again)

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  • I’d suppose you are at an age when hormones are starting to kick in, earlier for some and later for many. Obviously these people you are with are very immature and you should not bother to even think about those stupid comments they dropped. You are definetly a virgin. Even if a guy did this to you, you would still be a virgin. Masturbating is a great way of exploring yourself and I honestly think you should befriend some older people that you can talk about this with because you are obviously more mature than your surrondings. I think its stupid to not get to know your body before having sex. If you dont know what you like, how can the other person know? Break a bit of contact with these toxic judgmental people, they do not deserve you.

    • Thank you so much for your comment! That really made me feel much better. You're right, I should talk to someone older. Though, I'm afraid that even in a circle of people that are somewhat older than me, the same might happen. Off course, I might be generalizing but I have few people that are older than me and I was talking with one of them and they seemed a mix of amused and little weirded out. I didn't really get why since in that contxt I was actually just talking about the myth sorrounding the hymen and its wrongness. So yeah... I don't know. I feel like if I tried people would undrstand but at the same time I'm afraid that people might be weirded out since sex and anytghing related seems to unfortunaly still be a huge taboo to some.

    • I agree. You need to distance yourself from these so called friends. An older person can provide you with the knowledge you seek and if you don't have someone you can talk to then find a person on here that you feel comfortable talking to. There are lots of good people on here that dont judge and are willing to provide advice. What you are experiencing is absolutely normal.

    • @Guido Thanks :)