Virgin at 21?

is this a good thing or a bad thing, guys?
Updates:
+1 y
* it's definitely a waiting for the right guy issue, not a 'never had the opportunity' thing
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Being a virgin has nothing to do with good or bad. It does however come with the risk that you are overly conservative or fearful.

    If you've waited this long on purpose, as in waiting for the right guy, there is nothing wrong with that. If you just haven't had the opportunity, then maybe you should be more outgoing as the longer you wait the more feelings of insecurity it MIGHT bring due to lack of experience.

    If you are a confident happy girl, then own it, who cares that you are or aren't.

    But let me also say that if you are "waiting for marriage" I don't recommend it. I believe the idealistic view of typical christian marriage is a bit misguided. A large percentage of marriages end in divorce because the people have not really evaluated their true compatibility. I believe there are three core categories that two people MUST connect in or any long term relationship is doomed to failure or misery.

    1. morals

    2. lifestyle

    3. sex

    If you are not morally equal, you will resent each other. If you live incompatible lifestyles you will have too difficult a time relating to each other. and frankly if you aren't sexually compatible, you will be unsatisfied. Lacking a solid connection with someone on any of those three levels will most likely result in misery.

    If you aren't comfortable with yourself (emotionally and physically) and at least experienced enough to know exactly what it is you want for yourself, you will most likely not be capable of a long lasting open and honest relationship with someone and you will most likely default to the best available option regardless of whether they are "right for you" or not.

    So there is no good/bad short answer to your question. Instead I give you some things to consider and find the answer for yourself.

  • whether it's good or bad is up to how you feel about it. if it makes you unhappy, it's bad.

    but I think that it has the potential to make you very happy, because I think that if you meet a guy who is a virgin as well, your experience together will bring you that much closer.

    i, for one, am a virgin, and would prefer the romantic company of a virgin for my first time. not a hook up even; something more serious. I think we would understand and appreciate each other more. I can only hope that this is a possibility and not a pipe dream though, as I don't quite understand women romantically.

Most Helpful Girls

  • its a good thing you should wait for the right person and if you havnt meet the right person than you should still wait. Most teen girls think since everyone is having sex they should too so its good that you made it out of high school with out just losing it to the 1st guy that says something nice to you . So many of my friends think its impossible for someone to not have sex in high school so your living proof that waiting is not only possible but the right thing to do. Just don't try and rush things and just lose it to just anyone. your old enough to decide when you lose it just don't wait until your like 70 than you probably waited wayyy to long.

  • it is totally a good thing. if you're waiting for it to be the best experience possible, then you are doing well. I'm 22 and in the same boat as you. I just don't want my virginity to be given away as a prize, but rather as a token of my love for a man who can love me that much right back. the danger is falling for the guy who masks his true intentions just to get the prize and then shows his true colors. good luck with that girl. I hope it all winds up perfectly for you.

  • for sure! wait for the right guY!

    I had many oportunities to do it too, but I waited until I was 24, and married the only guy whom I've ever had sex with so I feel super luck!

    so it's a good thing you are waiting for the right guy to sleep with him! good luck! he's out there.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 19
  • i have met girls who remained virgins into their 30s. there's something special about it but, that's only for the lucky guy to have her to find out what that is. don't rush.

  • i think is this a good thing

  • Why would it be a bad thing? I waited till I was 24 and married. I'd ask you to read the reviews, but my sweetie (at the time) was practically in a coma. Just know that when the time is right you'll be ready.

  • its a great thing. Just continue to wait for the right guy and you will be happy.

  • U go girl. Stay true to yourself and Mr. Right will be knocking at your heart very soon. Waiting until married is always best. Take care and stay true.

  • That can never be a bad thing as long as YOU are happy! That is something that is truly all about you and NO outside pressure should make you want to change your feelings. You will know when you are ready!

  • For me its definitely a good thing.

  • My wife was at 21 and I'm glad she waited.

  • iv seen worse, it good and bad I guess, good for the first guy that has sex with you

  • neither and both

  • now that's sexy! I admire that!

  • most will say it's a bad thing but I think it's good. Although what is your reason. Are you actually waiting or have you never had the chance

  • many are. its not good or bad it just is.

  • TURN-ON

    its hard to find a girl who has not had sex yet.

    Personally I'm waiting for marriage and would prefer if she waited as well

    But How could it be a bad thing?

  • good

  • its better then being a slut at 21

  • Honestly, neither. Depends on the type of person you are. If you are a bitch then you are a bitch virgin, if you are nice you are a nice virgin. Just because you are a virgin doesn't preclude you or make you desirable in my view.

    • Agreed :) > I think your answer is perfect for mosrt of the question on here -Just exchange virgin for pretty or hot or player or reserved oroutgoing or dumb or smart or rich or poor or black or white or old or young or fast or slow or clever or not so clever or sleep a lot or sleep a little etc etc etc etc You need a context for content, & an idividual is NEVER a standard, BECAUSE we are social beings You are not nice or smart or mean until you are nice or smart or mean 2 someone else :)

  • it's a good thing.

    I'm all for waiting till marriage

  • yes it's a nice thing!

  • im a virgin at 29 because I need to be 100% comfortable with a girl to be intimate with her myself.

    • You're the kind of guy who knows what he wants and waits. I admire that.

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