Virgin dating a sex addict?

[shanny-2006]

I'm dating this guy that told me he's addicted to sex but I told him that I'm a virgin and had no intention of giving it up until marriage. However, he's still interested and wants to continue dating me. Do you think it's wise to continue dating him? Do you think he'd eventually want sex from me?

[Hunterboyz]

He will want sex eventually.Let me rephrase that.He wants sex right now!

I think it is possible for him to control it, and for you 2 to last, as long as you don't mind some frustrating moments.

I too must admit I'm a sex addict, but I try to control it.

I was in that situation almost a year ago, and I felt like the female was about to give in.

Before I let this happen, I backed away.

It is definitely going to be hard on him, but if can withstand the trails, I'd say he's a definite keeper.

Nothing is stronger than love!

If you 2 reach this point, then there is nothing to worry about.

Sincerely,

A Loving Black Man

[shanny-2006]

Thx

[DeltaBoy1983]

Yes he will eventually want something, with it be a blowjob or something of that nature. If you are uncomfortable with doing anything like that, then yes break this relationship off and move on. It is hard to go from always getting to never getting something. At the same time, please do look at the guy and see if you gut feeling tells you he can hold on until marriage. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, cause I too love sex but for the right girl I could hold out till marriage. My sister held out till she got married at 26, and I have a lot of respect for her to be able to do that.

[shanny-2006]

Thx

[yummy]

Get out of this relationship. He will presser you. I had the same problem about two weeks ago. I broke up with the guy, or should I say I’m trying to. And I’m not a virgin any more and I regret it. And I am still crying over it

[shanny-2006]

Ook thx sorry to hear that

[Wonderfulcounselor]

Get out NOW! People with sexual addictions have a hard time controlling their urges. Unless this is dealt with you can expect this person to seek out other outlets for sex.

[AJtogo]

If you don't want to have sex before marriage then you need to date someone else. To his credit, and yours, at least you were both up front about what is and is not to happen.

[shanny-2006]

Thx

[lefthand]

First, there is no such think as a sex addict in any real terms

Second, if you are dating this guy, I imagine he will want to have sex with you. If you are not ok with that, I would suggest not dating him.

[AJtogo]

Hey Lefty, The term sexual addict has been well defined by the Mayo Clinic, The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, the American Psychological Asoociation, and many others. However, it is also true that there is no medical consensus that it actually exists. I do agree with your second assessment though.

[lefthand]

To the best of my knowledge, the term "addict" is used only by self help programs and hazelton. The APA doesn't even define drug addiction as addiction, just abuse or dependency. I also know that the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists refused to define the term because it would be used to pathologize sex regardless of the qualifiers (I was there for that one). Addict, as such, doesn't have a professional meaning, hence my original statement. And thanks.

[shanny-2006]

Thx

[AJtogo]

That's interesting. I have been using the terms abuse, dependency, and addiction (addict)interchangably. I have found a couple of sources that acknowledge the partial replacement of addict with dependence for substance abuse; but still widely used for process addictions such as sex.

[lefthand]

That is likely because there is no agreement on the idea of sexual addiction. Process addictions have even less consensus, with an alarming number of people using terminology without common definition. Personally, I don't support dependency without physical withdrawal or chemical agents. I think what people call process addictions are simply maladaptive behavior. The difference? Complete abstinence is not an acceptable intervention for sex as it might be for say heroin.

[AJtogo]

LOL....not sure about the maladaptive behaviour comment. You haven't seen my girlfriend pacing the floor, short tempered. and with sweats because she hasn't gone shopping. She's a shopping addict:) and definately shows signs of withdrawl.

[Jarett]

It's not a question about if he will eventually want sex. He already wants it from you. And chances are, he's going to try and get it. He's going to slowly push the line of how far you will go. He will never just try and have sex with you. He will take it slow, and see what he can get away with. And once he's gotten you comfortable with something, he will push the line some more. It's a bad idea to be in this relationship. He wants sex, and you don't want sex. It's not going to work. Why not find a guy that shares your values?

[shanny-2006]

Thx