Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health In the short time that I have been on this site, I have seen a lot of girls worrying about being virgins and not being sure how to break it to their boyfriend, as if it was some kind of a bad thing. Well, let me reassure you:
Virginity makes you more attractive, not less attractive.
Of course, there are always exceptions. Older guys -- and I am *not* talking about 24 here, I'm talking 40+ -- might not be interested in teaching a younger girl anymore and might want a more experienced partner who knows her way around in bed. But I promise, a guy who would find virginity a turnoff is an extremely rare find, and you should just not worry about that happening.
By and large, nine out of ten guys you date are probably going to be thrilled if they find out you're a virgin. So stop worrying about it already, and feel free to instead use it as surprise present or something. When you're cuddled up with your guy, snug for warmth, maybe getting a little hot and heavy, just lean close and whisper in his ear that you've never done it before, and just see for yourselves if the corners of his mouth don't turn up a little in a smile.
In fact, some religions promise their faithful 72 virgins when they get to paradise. (That's actually a simplification of a complex issue, but bear with me here.) I think that well illustrates that throughout world history, virginity has been a carrot for humans, rather than the stick.
Now, why do guys like virgins? For some guys, it's real easy: they get "man points" from popping a cherry and brag about it to their friends and carve a notch in their bedposts. This is the worst motivation of them all. Another is that you're much less likely to have any STDs (not guaranteed though, as even virgins can get HIV infections from drug needles, among other things) and there are some people who are very health-conscious and for whom it might be a minus if their partner has had a lot of past experiences, particularly if they've been unprotected ones. But I'd say this is probably one reason that most people don't think about very often so we might skim over that one.
So we've had one bad reason, and one that probably doesn't occur to most people at the time. But what about all the rest? Why do the rest of guys like virgins?
The remaining big reason, I would say, is that it really shows a guy that you appreciate them. If you haven't put out for any guy you've ever known before, and are ready to do it for him, then that shows just how much you like him, in a very real, tangible way. That he's more important to you than any guy you've ever known. The guy gets a very very strong reassurance that he actually means something to you and isn't just some random guy among dozens. If you've managed to save up your virginity for the right guy, you probably won't *ever* have to do any convincing that you love him -- he'll *know* in a very real way.
We've all seen the movies and read the stories where the characters are all, "Oh, I've never felt like this about a guy in my whole life". Well, talk is easy. Lots of people say that even if you're their fifth or sixth or even number sixty to them. Being a virgin is like saying that *and having proof* that you mean it. Having proof that the guy really *is* very special to you. So of course, they're going to feel terribly flattered and reassured that you like them more than anybody. So in effect, virginity -- or rather, being willing to part with it for someone -- is the ultimate compliment to that person.
The trick, however, is making sure that -- if you want your first time to be with somebody who'll last -- you'll find somebody of that latter type. Somebody who will take it as a compliment. Rather than the first type I described higher up -- the guys who hunt for virgins for their cherry-popping scorecard. To the first type, once they've gotten your virginity, they'll be off to the next virgin (and you obviously won't be that one anymore) so they can keep increasing their "man points". But the third type -- the complimented -- they're the guy who's gonna really like you and stick with you. It's up to you which type you want to lose it to.
Unfortunately, sometimes it can be tough to tell the difference between the two. The guy who wants to pop you just for your virginity and has no interest in you beyond that -- and the guy who likes *you* as a person and who only takes your virginity as a bonus on top of everything else he already likes about you. To both, your virginity will be great -- so again, don't worry about it being a negative thing -- but how do you tell the difference between the two?
Waiting is one way. Taking your time before doing it. The guys who are interested in scoring points often measure themselves against other guys in a race, and if a girl takes too long to warm up, they'll move on to the next target. If you give it up in under a month, you'll be a prime target for these kinds of guys.
Big talk is another way. If you let guys believe that you're already experienced, then cherry-hunters might move on to the next target. I'm not saying straight out lying about your experience, but there are ways to create the illusion of being experienced without actually confirming anything. (But getting deeper into that is beyond the scope of this article.) So that could help screen out the guys who are only pursuing virginities, and just leave the guys who are more interested in you for your sake rather than for a bit of membrane between your legs. And like I said before, even those guys who are interested in you for your sake are very unlikely to be disappointed when you later privately fess up and admit to them that you're not as experienced as you've let people believe.
If Big Talk is the strategy you pick, though, be careful not to overdo it because there's the risk of seeming promiscuous if you seem *too* experienced, and that will again attract the guys who are only interested in sex. So it's a bit of a tightrope-walk between not seeming like a virgin, and not seeming like a girl who'll put out easily to anyone.
In any case, if there's anything I want you to take home from this here wall of text, it's that you girls really need to stop thinking of virginity as a negative thing. Most guys will like it. Really they will. Just try to find the guys who like you *first* as a person and the virginity as a bonus. And not the guys who will like you *only* for your virginity and then drop you after they've gotten it.
+1 y
Virginity = Good
SamyM Xper 4
17 8
What Girls & Guys Said
25 15A friend who had popped herself with a dildo told me it's better to "do it yourself" so the guy wouldn't have the awkwardness of popping it. I could never really agree with that. I'll have to show her this.
I agree with everything you say regarding virginity, without going all Bible on people (and I'm even Catholic, lol).
I agree with @heart-of-gold
Don't understand why girls are in a rush to lose their virginity... once it's gone, it's gone. So be patient and lose it to someone you love.
I'm 19 years old, and I don't plan on losing my virginity anytime soon.
Nothing wrong with being a virgin. I have dignity and respect for myself.
you've just convinced me to stay a virgin. thank you :)
Great article, this is all so true. You wouldn't believe how many times I disappointed a guy because I informed him I wasn't a virgin.
is it strange that it didn't really hurt my first time cuz I masterbated a lot before it even happened?
@alexandrialoves Not strange at all: masturbation made you more familiar with your feminine parts, less inhibited about these (many girls barely know what's under their pubis and between their labia, consider it 'dirty' because mom told them so 15 years ago) -If you fingered a bit in the vagina you may have stretched your hymen a bit : enough to need just a little stretch more to accept a penis. 3 fingers= girth of penis. Parents who tell their daughters not to touch themselves are uneducated in that domain or very inhibited themselves.
is I normal for my iner labia and hood to poke out with legs closed
is that rare
This article is a great example of early medieval literature. Where did you find it?
Considering that stupid obsession with the hymen, I consider it would be honest to take all baby girls' hymens away at birth. No more discussions about the subject, girls will be on par with guys to discover their sexuality freely when they up to it. Who ever asked any guy to 'prove his virginity' in any way, like by by showing bloodstains on the sheets?
Virginity isn't either bad nor good. It's a phase in everyone's life, that's all.
True we are all born virgins.
Nobody did something to gain virginity, thus it's not really a merit either.
this is a fantastic article this is why I fell I could never marry a girl that's not a virgin because well that's just how I feel. even if I wanted to marry her I couldn't because I would never love her to that extent, I guess its like saying I don't trust them as much in that sense
I ain't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. When was this article posted?
Everything in this article is true!! Being a virgin is good. I'm one myself, and I don't have to worry about pregnancy, STDs, or being called a slut.
Virginity is sacred :)
Great article.
Great article! Very accurate and important for girls to know
Maybe that's just YOU jdcpa. What if you fell in love with a girl that was a virgin? What would you do then? Go on your merry way and act like nothing happened and you never had those feelings? Psh. Such a superficial.
Honestly, if the guy wasn't superficial, he wouldn't care if you were a virgin or a non-virgin. He would love you for YOU. The previously stated comments by the guys are obviously stated by guys who have a narrow-minded way of thinking. Its a shame. They're missing out.
Very good article. 'Gregs' and 'jdcpa': sort yourselves out! I bet you WISH you could score with a virgin.
So if the guy your talking to is making jokes saying you know you want me or fuck me and sexual stuff like that then does that mean they only want sex from you and nothing else or what?
Anti-virgin sentiment has spread by way of embittered women, the horny guys they date and the companies that get rich off sex. Simply, there are 2 ways to show appreciation to a guy to the extent he needs, ironically at polar opposites: Either, 1: Be a virgin for him; or 2: Be his b***h. Because every guy can only have one mother. Nothing has really changed in society. Beats me why women would so willingly give their power away to ungrateful men, especially when they can't cook.
I have a guy pressuring me
Hold your ground with him. If he won't wait for you, he is just using you for sex. If he is just trying to use you for sex, he does not respect you.