We had sex even though I didn't want to?

[Anonymous]

Here's my situation: I am 20 years old, the guy I'm seeing is 25. We've fooled around several occasions and I was fine with that. Well the other night we were together and I was expecting things to be the same, but we ended up having sex and I lost my virginity. That wasn't how I wanted it to happen. In fact, I didn't want it to happen at all. I felt like he was being sneaky about it, and after I realized what was happening it was too late. I could be at fault for not being straightforward enough about it. I didn't say stop but I didn't exactly agree to it either. It got to the point where I did say stop, and he did. I told him how I was feeling, and I think because I didn't leave he interpreted that as permission to have sex again, which once again was not what I wanted. I think possibly he was manipulating me by saying things I wanted to hear so that I would stay until he was satisfied. Are all guys this manipulative? And if not, where can I find a guy who isn’t? I don’t want to compromise my values, but I am tired of being alone so I might keep seeing him unless someone can convince me otherwise…

[hottskull]

OK! I have read ALL the comments; and your right- " the best" commenter was great, and SURE it was words of comfort they just aren't ALL the words you need to hear.

What happen that night was bad! Did he manipulate you? MAYBE! Should you be mad? HELL YES! But I think you are going about this the wrong way. I know you are upset, pissed, angry, regretful; but it's done, it's in the past. Try not to dwell on it to much, the more you do the worst you feel.

Also you need to take responsibility for your actions. Was it rape?; NO! But you feel like it was(and some may argue with you) but you didn't do much to stop him. I KNOW a few rape victims and each and every last one of them will tell you the same thing: You let him. Rather you know it or not. You said STOP once, and he SHOULD HAVE STOPPED RIGHT AWAY, but from what you said he stopped; but keep going?!? What is wrong with the both of you? Your mad and pissed off at people that obviously care more about you then the GUY or even your SELF; your a young respectful women, don't make compromise's for anyONE.

I'm not here to tell you how to live your life. If you want people to take what means a lot to you then that is on you. You are older then me; act like it. I'm not mean, I'm giving you some knowlged you should have learned along time ago. Don't let them take you frogranted.

NEVER let ANYONE walk all over you. And NO not all guys are manipulating; you just need to look for them- it might take a while but I believe that there are still GOOD guys out there. Just wait you WILL find him. I can promise you that. :p

Don't let what happened that night happen again. Be strong, like I know you are. You are better than him, you should NOT stay with him because your scared to be alone. Your only 20, LIVE&LOVE! What happened should just make you want to get up and take what you learned into consideration.

You are both to blame, I know you DON'T want to hear it but it's true. If you REALLY didn’t want him to then you would have found a way for him to stop even after the first time- why did you stay? Of course he thought that you wanted he to pick up where he left off. Guys are not that smart when it comes to us females, plus by that time he was thing with the wrong head. Never lead guys on if you don’t plan on following through. It could have be worse- he could have been the type of guy who doesn’t give a rats behind about your feelings or needs. Sure he ‘hopped back on the horse’ after you said no but you didn’t fight, did you? Not from what you said up there-so of course he went through with it. It was an easy hit. And thinking about it, it does sound like he coaxed you, BUT you let him and it sucks.

I hope you listen to what we have to say and don’t get all offensive about we are only trying to help.

I’m SO sorry what happened that night/day but I do wish you well…

:(

[Anonymous]

This isn't exactly an answer to your questions, but here is my advice to you:

If you can't be assertive, do not put yourself in sexual situations. You're not ready yet.

You will come across men who are manipulative, or men who are simply not mind readers and might not understand what the problem is, or even that there is a problem. Not every guy will verbally ask your permission before doing something---and not because they're bad guys, but simply because most people just let sexual activities go with the flow and don't stop in the middle to say, "Is it okay if I penetrate you vaginally now?"

Before you put yourself in a situation that might become sexual, know what your boundaries are. If things start heading in a direction that you're not comfortable with, speak up and tell the person. If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone about sex and about your boundaries, how can you be comfortable fooling around/having sex with them? Communication is very important when it comes to sex. You need to be able to talk about it, and you need to be able to say "no" or "stop" if something is making you feel uncomfortable or if you don't want to do something.

I know it isn't always easy to say no or to tell someone to stop. Sometimes you feel pressured or scared, or worried that they won't like you or that the mood might be ruined, or whatever. But unless you can be assertive enough to say it anyway, things like this might happen.

And it's great that you did say stop, but if someone isn't taking you seriously, continues to try, or tries to persuade you to keep going but you don't want to, stand up and put your clothes back on... or even leave if he isn't getting the picture. Maybe he's a douchebag, or maybe he just doesn't understand how serious you are, but actions will speak louder than words.

You're a smart girl, so don't allow yourself to be manipulated or pressured into doing something you don't want to do.

I'm not saying you're to blame if you say stop and someone doesn't listen (that's all him), but unless he's holding you down or threatening you, you do have more power to prevent things from continuing than you're probably giving yourself credit for.

[Asker]

Thank you so much...this is exactly what I needed to hear :)

[Razer]

Glad to see you helped her, but I honestly think she needs some tough love. Soft people will stay soft and vulnerable unless they get a kick in the ass and stop seeing themselves as vulnerable. She is 20 for gods sake. I wanted to but wasn't ready for the comitement of having sex till I was 24 or so, and didn't seek it till 26. There is no reason she should still have these problemes. Your a big girl now, don't expect people to treat you like a princess every time. I feel for you but tough love.

[Razer]

Sorry buy I think "dudeman" has a point. You obviously regret what happened and it IS stressing you out. Again, the bottom line is, he was an ass and you let it happen. He didn't rape you or force you or blackmail you or anything else. He just tryed real hard and got what he wanted. Next time your in this situation you'll know or have the balls to stand up for yourself. Happy F***ing

[Opinion Owner]

@Razer - You're not saying a lot that's different from what I said in my answer. I said that if she isn't able to be assertive, she isn't ready to be putting herself in sexual situations, that she needs to be able to stand up for herself and not allow herself to be manipulated or pressured into doing something she doesn't want to. That was my "tough love". I do, however, disagree with you that age has anything to do with assertiveness.

[Opinion Owner]

As for your second comment, yes, obviously she does regret what happened and is stressing out about it. What's your point? This is the type of situation that you regret and stress out about, regardless of who is to blame for it. She even acknowledged in her question that she probably wasn't straightforward enough. Not myself, nor the QA said anything about rape. He definitely shouldn't have tried again after she told him to stop. I'm not making any speculations about why he didn't because it

[Opinion Owner]

could be a number of reasons. I wasn't there and I don't know what he was thinking. But it does sound like she could have done more to prevent him from doing that, she could have removed herself completely from the situation (which I said in my answer).

[Opinion Owner]

But guess what? None of "what happened and whose fault it is" really matters at this point. What happened has already happened and you can't go back to change it. The point of my answer was to tell the QA how not to let it happen again. Guys are not mindreaders.. and some guys are just plain jackasses when it comes to stuff like this. But if she finds herself in a situation like this again, she needs to know how to stand up for herself.

[Anonymous]

Okay a couple things... First, fooling around (e. g. oral sex) is still sex. I'm assuming you mean intercourse here. Second, anything other than "yes" is not consent to sex. Silence is not consent. So, yes, he was manipulating you and he should have stopped, especially after you explicitly said stop. Essentially you could say he raped you (how much hate will I get for saying this I wonder?). Now, in this awful patriarchal society that we live in, where men hold all the power, you do need to learn to stand up for yourself. But you also need to know that this sort of thing isn't your fault. A guy not being able to control his sexual urges is his own fault. It's just unfortunate where we live in a society where the message is "don't get raped" and tells girls what to do/what not to do, rather than directing the message "don't rape" at men. But anyway, I'm not going to get into that. I just want you to know you are not alone but you've got to learn to be stronger and more assertive in this world. Men love submissive and weak women because they are so easy to manipulate. So don't let that happen anymore. It's unfortunate this happened to you, but at least you can learn from this experience. Good luck, I hope you can turn things around for yourself. Find a new man (or maybe woman!), one who deserves you. Or take some time to yourself. Just do what makes you happy and don't let others walk all over you.

[BCRanger10]

Not all men are this manipulative. I strongly urge that you discontinue this relationship. If he really loved you, he would have more respect for you than this. At the very least, the absolute minimum, he would have asked permission instead of just forcing himself on you, as he appears to have done. You deserve so much more of so much better, better than what this guy is capable of.

The best place I can think of is church. The best way to tell, though, is who are is friends and what are his interests? That way, you can get an idea as to what influences him. Or at least observe how he behaves in the presence of said influences. For example, if he's out with friends and they say "hey, dinner's over and we've got some time to kill. We're going to that there strip joint across the street. Do you want to come?" "No, thanks. Not into that". "Okay, cool, we'll see you at the movie theater in an hour".

One time, I got a card in my mailbox at college from a girl who said she would never forget the time when she saw/heard me call (not chew) some guys out for being rude and unchivalrous towards some girls in the cafeteria. Personally, I have no memory of this, but still, you just have to observe how some guys behave when they're not in the safe zones of their homes.

[trafficjammer]

Guess what? Just because he wasn't wearing a ski mask and he wasn't tying you up, you had non-consentual sex.

Think about that for a moment.

Now, what to do about it? The legal avenues will be entirely unhelpful because, well, reasonable doubt and all that. First things first, discuss this with someone you can trust. Second, discuss this with the guy with perfect frankness. His response will determine whether he's a scumbag or if he truly got the wrong idea.

For the other side of things, shore up the things in your life you need to take care of. Not knowing the whole story, it doesn't appear that he was especially manipulative; the coercion here is minimal, more a lack of speaking up on YOUR part. You said stop, he stopped. Then he started again. I can't say any more on the issue because that's all I've got. However, now that you know what to look for, you can fix this in the future, but you especially need to face the attitude of being willing to compromise your values so that you're not alone. This is an unhealthy attitude that can easily land you in abusive relationship that ends up with you being manipulated.

[dudeman]

by law it was concesual sex since they were fulling around and she made no attempt to physically, or verbally stop him

[trafficjammer]

She clearly said "stop," which he did, then started again. I'll just leave this Virginia code here: A. If any person has sexual intercourse with a complaining witness, whether or not his or her spouse, or causes a complaining witness, whether or not his or her spouse, to engage in sexual intercourse with any other person and such act is accomplished (i) against the complaining witness's will... But of course since you were the one having sex against your will, I guess w should listen to you.

[dudeman]

nope she said stop and he did then he thought that everything was OK and he started again it was a misunderstanding it wasn't rape legally she gave permission

[nevergivinguponu]

If you thought he manipulated ou then why would you keep seeing him/? Two wrongs don't make a right. I honestly can not believe I just read that you were going to continue to see him. That tells me that you must care and are attracted to him in some way. The situation you lost your virginity in was not the ideal. You already understand that you both were equally responsible for your actions. He didn't steal anything that you didn't lie there naked and wasn't willing to give. Many of us would never lie naked and then say please don't come inside me unless the rules were concrete. Then you gave into to him again after you said NO. You regretted it and it bothers you because you can't believe that you didn't get up and leave after the first time. So do you love this guy? Are you angry about the fact your first memory stinks? Well you did say he is still with you so make his life hell for it. Give him an education on what a mainpulating SOB he is.

[Razer]

This is a none issue. You just lost your virginity, good for you, realy. It didn't happen the way you wanted maybe, but you still went along with it. Your 20, you can't be that stupid to not know wheather your about to have intercourse. This is just a learning experience and you should see that and learn from it. You don't need this guy, but if he is a keeper than keep him.

[Asker]

If its a "non issue" like you say it is, then why is it stressing me out and constantly on my mind? Just to give you a taste of what it was like, imagine constantly reaching down to check that its not going in, saying ?be careful? repeatedly, and not giving any indication that it was OK to continue. I even told him I was not OK with us both being naked at the same time but he disregarded and made sarcastic comments like "I can't get your breasts pregnant".

[dudeman]

its stressing you out because you regret what you did

[Asker]

You can't regret something that wasn't you fault to begin with...

[Razer]

I don't want to sound insensitive but how do you feel it wasn't your fault. It happened, and you had just as much influence or control as he did. It's both your fault, even though fault shouldn't apply. The bottom line is you didn't do anything. Yes he was insensitive and and may have cheated his way into your pants. But your 20 not 15, he prob thought you were mature enough to stand up if you weren't comfortable. Just don't let this kill you or scar you. He was an ass and take it as experience.

[EyeAmNiceGirl]

I read this, and you (the asker) are totally in denial. If you weren't OK with both of you being naked at the same time, then why did you allow it to occur? You could have put your clothes on when he was taking his off? Right? When you tell a guy to be careful, what he hears is be gentle. Your actions speak louder than words. You wanted it and didn't want it at the same time, you wanted to keep your virgin status, but soooo wanted to know what it was like to have a penis inside you. You basically left the final the decision to your boyfriend, but you also sort of knew what leaving the decision up to him would mean. I get it, you probably are a "good girl," I was an active church member and even had a Bible study in my dorm room every week, and I lost my virginity in that same dorm room one night because I was making out with a guy (we had been out on a date) and he went for it and I was so horny I just couldn't say no. It happens to all of us sooner or later.

[awaken03]

get a hold on yourself..you don't want it to happen but it did, some guys are smooth talker letting you hear what you want to hear but at the back of their minds it's just words in the air..after he gets you to bed..it's game over for you he will probably take his time with you since you were his first but after he losses interest he'll leave you..don't also pressure yourself on having someone for the wrong reasons..based from what your saying your not that happy at all your just looking for security..learn to love and value yourself and set your standards..the guy your with is just taking advantage of you

[D-Boo]

no, all guys are not that manipulative; however, you have to find someone who fits you like a matching puzzle peice. ther's no 'find mr.right here!' stores so you're going to have to spend a little time with the person before deciding to give them what you've got- it really pays off in the long run.

[ThenThereWas1]

The guy stopped when you said stop. He may have been persuading you to keep going when it was clear you were uncomfortable, but it was ultimately your choice to keep going. It didn't have to happen that way...you let it happen that way. What I'm saying may come off as harsh but really, you need to stand up for yourself.

And no, not every guy is like that. Although a lot of people are willing to say anything to get what they want.

[Wintryamythyst]

I have one question... Who took your clothes off? Him or you?

[toulouse]

We had sex even though I didn't want to?

If you didn't want sex sand he didn't force you, then you are not being honest with yourself. You can't accidentally have ex, Unless he stuck his d*** inside without warning u, is that happened? because that has happened. You are fooling around & depending on what you are waring he could get it in. but then you say stop,

you can not accidentally have sex. he either raped you, or you decided to have sex. DECIDED.

[Reggie1]

Please don't keep seeing him if he's being pushy and doing anything that wasn't entirely consented to by you. You can find someone who isn't sleazy and hasn't got just his own interests at heart.

[MissAlexandra]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Some "men" are just so manipulative and evil and disgusting and take advantage. Try not to let it get you you. :(

[CheckHerOutBruh]

Yeeaaahhhh, but all guys will say anything to get in your pants, and you don't have to, they will get the hint and leave you alone, just say no. It sucks being alone, and you'll just have to wait til you find another boyfriend or fwb.

[CheckHerOutBruh]

Not all guys are like that, but once you get into bed and want to stop some may be trying to convince you to keep going with lies, or saying thinsg you want to hear.

[Radford]

Not all guys are like that I'm not.

[CheckHerOutBruh]

Okay, maybe I caught a bad one.

[cjwright79]

pfft you can say you're not like that, but maybe you will be

[mooglelove]

something similar happened to me a while back with my ex. I wasn't a virgin but he was WAY too rough with me, and he never listend to me during sex. I told him to stop once and he said he would stop after he was finished! needless to say I dropped him after that. but I get where you're coming from, it can be really confusing when it happens with someone you trust or when it's someone that you want to like you. you should talk with him, let him know how you feel and then see his reaction. if you let it go unresolved you might end up feeling used/guilty and you don't need to feel that way at all.

[Slugworth99]

It sounds like you did have sex AND didn't have sex. How could you not know? Everything I have ever read from women is that they are VERY aware the first time they have intercourse unless he was VERY small in size.

If you actually had sex, I hope you used some form of birth control. If he orgasmed in you, and you weren't using anything, you could find yourself pregnant.

There are nice guys out there. You need to stick to your convictions. Yes, it is easy to type those words and something much different to stick to them.

When you meet a guy and as you get to kinow him, you need to let him know that you are waiting for marriage to have sex. Not too early but don't wait until you two are peeling off underware to breech the subject.

[Minxxe]

she could be pregnant even if he DIDNT come inside her, fk all abt d*** size. Most 1st times don't go the way we plan, if they do unless you're with someone you love, you will not enjoy it. At least that's the experience of me and my close girlfriends. guys will say/do aything to get you into bed, learn from this & don't be so trusting in the first place.

[EyeAmNiceGirl]

@Minxxe Yep. First time is awkward. Guys will say anything. But smooth lines have never been the reason I let it happen.

[DaveMicharl69]

No not ALL guys by a long shot! A guy who would bush that far has one thing on his mind, N You don't have to give it just for companionship if You don't want to. My Girlfriend had that in college. Her Boyfriend kept untucking her blouses N rubbing her back up under them, p[laying with her bra. She'd get up, tuck em back in N he'd try to untuck it again. She finally gave in, N when she feared she was pregnant he ran out of town N didn't even call on Christmas or New Years, finally returning when he learned she got her period. After that, he made her life hell. She thought she had to take it till she ran into her late husband while not looking. Decent guys will look just like the creep that put You through that, but will be willing to think N gtalk about things other than sex. Good luck finding one. NOONE should have to decide between compromosed virtues N loneliness...

[singingbird]

trust me there are a lot of manipulating guys like that. I'm also 20 and I do date older guys and I've run into these type of guys that even when you say no they take that as a game and try to get it in anyways. a real man will not force u. especially if he's 25...i mean he's not a stupid kid he should know better.

[cjwright79]

Listen, if you above the age of twelve and a guy is talking to you (and you're not working), he is just trying to use you for sex. It doesn't matter if he marries you -- same deal. If you don't want to be used, then don't give these slimeballs the time of day.

[Ainvar]

Not all guys are like that, the ones you want are in places like churchs and stuff and that was one of the worst things Iv heard a girl say a guy did on here. Don't stay with the ass hole no matter what! You deserve a hell of a lot better!

[playa_pan]

Then why were you even fooling with him in the first place?

[Radford]

I don't know why guys do that well som.Im not manipulative at all I'm very affectionate and kind.And love peoples feeling but I'm no pussy.Im sorry you lost your virginty I'm still a virgin and waiting on the future.I suggest you not see him he just wanted sex from you I think.PLease take these words because I care about you there's someone special out there for everyone

:)

[lucyloo]

I have to agree it wasn't rape. When she asked him to stop, he, in her words, did stop. But later he thought she'd calm down and he tried again, she didn't say in this that she said stop again. Sex is a nonverbal dance, not many people say hey wanna have sex? but most people who believe sex is about to happen, and don't want it will say no.. I mean there are many signs that sex will appear. When they were mucking around, she could have said I don't want to have sex yet.. easy.

[xamy90x]

"and after I realized what was happening it was too late." .. I'm pretty sure you were aware you were having sex and could have said no at the very start. You obviously regret it for not saying "no".. But you didn't say that so he obviously got the impression you wanted to have sex by "fooling around" in the first place.

No not all guys are manipulative at all, if he was so sneaky why carry on seeing him?

[NerdInDenial]

No, not all guys are manipulative. Personally, I can be; playing with feelings is so much fun, and girls are pretty easy to figure out. Anyway, legally, if you say stop, then, he needs to stop. Only if you give him permission to get it on again, he may do so. Otherwise, it's technically rape. It's hard to say where you can find decent guys. You will have better odds in a more public, conservative setting, i.e. library over a bar. If you don't want to compromise your values, and he's the problem, stop seeing him. Don't be afraid of being a lone. You'll find your knight in shinning armor; just be patient. You cannot hurry honest love. You can hurry a fling.

[cjwright79]

Guys who are not manipulative are so few and far-between that we may as well say 'all guys are conniving swine' and make the odd exception as required.

[NerdInDenial]

Shouldn't we judge people on an individual basis? If she assumes this premise, she'll never be able to trust a guy, and she'll be a lone forever. Otherwise, we can just say all muslims hate America because they're so few that speak out against the terrorist regimes.

[dudeman]

thats not manipulitive what happened was entirley your fault you don't ask permission to have sex you start having sex and see if she stops you its a non verbal dance

[Asker]

What kind of heartless person would say that sex is a nonverbal dance? He was not in tune with my needs, my wants, or my emotions. He used his charm to get me to soften up to him and take advantage of the situation. And for that I?m suffering the consequences of something I?ll never be able to get back.

[dudeman]

hey sex takes a long time to get to at least a 30 seconds if you go straight for it that's more then enough time to stop it I'm sorry but this is your own fault next time speak up this is not rape this was consensual sex and you later changed your mind during the act. I am not heartless and why would it be heartless to say sex is a nonverbal dance take responsibility for you actions young lady its called being an adult

[Asker]

Being adult also involves listening to other people and not attacking them after they've experienced something that has caused them emotional pain

[dudeman]

from what you described was not sex

[dudeman]

lol it not an attack its sex

[singingbird]

wow what's with all these creepy guys on here. wtf just because you don't push a girl down on the floor doesn't mean your not forcing her to have sex. what is wrong with men today...well actually this type of guy isn't a real man just some stupid boy. don't listen to these creepers that are saying its your fault. because its not.

[MtnDewMan]

everyone has the power to say NO, its wether you exercise that right. I agree with you dudeman- spot on old sport. sex doesn't just happen there's things that lead up to sex, clothes off and your asking for it. there takes some specific actions to actually penetrate and you had the time to say no, really stop making excuses because you regret it. move on and get over it, losing your virginity is not a big deal, its another step in your life and being an adult, your not a litte kid anymore

[Mr187canada]

I Agree one hudrend percent was clearly her fault clearly she even admitted she didn't say stop right away she clearly wanted it than changed her mind

[EyeAmNiceGirl]

@Asker -- You got what you wanted at the moment it happened. After the fact, you regretted it. Of course guys are nice to girls; I mean, if he insulted you or cursed at you, you would have never even gone a date with him. Take advantage? Seriously? You expect a guy you are making out with to walk away once he gets your panties off?

[7gnat]

Find a guy that does not push. Find a guy that has the confidence to wait for you to want to give your "all" to him. Is there any update to your situation?

[simples3]

It takes two to tango baby, you can't hold somone else fully accountable for you own actions. The fact remains that when you did eventually say stop, he stopped. No rape charges there. It sucks, but you know what they say once you pop you can't stop, enjoy being young while you can. Hopefully you will have a better experience next time.

[SlickRicky]

lol

[OnetoFive]

I won't comment on what he's done, but no not all guys are that manipulative... tbh, it depends what they want. If a guy's in it just for sex, then he'll do all he can to get it... if it's mainly for romance and love, then I would say this won't happen at all.

[random_hero]

Yeah obviously the guy is a manipulative ****. But you weren't raped, because you consented by removing your own clothing. He stopped after you said stop, and you let him penetrate you.

No offense but that's kind of slutty.

[alexzandra]

lots of girls get into that situation, the same thing happened to me. I did it because I thought it was the only way to get him to like me. but there are guys out there that won't preassure you for sex. and what happened wasn't your fault, just tell him straight up that you don't want to have sexwith him and if he can't accept that then he isn't worth it. don't settle for less than you deserve, if he doesn't want to be in a relationship without the sex dump him. if your with someone you need to feel comfortable around them and they need to respect what you want and wait to have sex if that's what you need to do if he really likes you he will be willing to wait until you are ready. if not, find someone who is.

[coolx124]

girl this guy is trying hard to f*** you. but you lost your virginity. I think you should go for a man that has a good education. not a man how wants to f*** the life out of you.

[Anonymous]

You had control of the situation, you could have said no. All you can do is learn from your mistake, & have more control in the future. Everyone makes mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself.

[Anonymous]

my cousin convinced me to drink but I made them forget about it with a sip. still it sucks. I was in a tight spot since I was the first to visit her after her marriage. I'm not manipulative and I am a nerd. not a small kid either. Find someone who is similar to me - in college, a nerd who isn't scrawny (they're obsessed with sex), someone who is very blunt (you'd have to realize that not all criticism is an insult), ask straight up if they want to wait till marriage. Best religions for your type, Hindu (personal values), Jewish (kind), buddhist (won't nag you about it), catholic, or an atheist (someone who is very blunt)

someone you like who fits these descriptions

no I am not hitting on you

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel. I was ready either. I learned from mistake though to not make the guy think it's okay, like your ready just because you didn't verbally say you weren't ready. It's okay to be alone because then you can choose who you wanna be with. You could start dating when your over this guy. Don't worry there's still some nice guys out there who won't take advantage of you. When you find a guy your comfortable with do let him go.

[Anonymous]

He stopped when you said stop give him a break .Not everything goes how you want it too

[Anonymous]

Actually I disapproved of th "best" answer here. I seriously doubt, no I know for a fact you have self control. I'm a guy with a very high sex drive and your telling me that of all people a sex crazed hormonal teenage such as I stopped himself from having sex with my girlfriend because I had no condom was impossible its bull. you have plenty of self control and I feel zero simpathy for you. yeah both your fault, the guy had it in the back of his mind an agenda for you two to have sex and you didn't have the guts to tell him no or even stop from putting yourselves in a position to have sex happen.

if you hangout with a guy knowing what could happen and you don't want it to hangout at a public place and away from places where you two are alone. this really limits the chance of anything going past makingout.

Honestly there's no one more to blame than you, self control is not that hard, your body has nerve endings and you can feel where his hands are going and you know what was going on. its supprising how much cooperation it actually takes to penetrate a girl. so therefore your excuse it happened so fast, bullsh*t! I callin it out, you know what going on and what he is doing, even if you are caught up in the moment you know where your clothes are and his hands and parts are in relation to yours. sorry but this falls on your utter lack of self control and seriously if I can resist my girlfriend because of no condom than you can resist a guy wanting sex and you not wanting it. EPIC BULL!

[lucyloo]

Totally agree. If you didn't want it to happen, you would have stopped it. I reckon it got just too much for you, and suddenly regretted it because you had imagined in your head another way. and when he stopped you should have got up, and gone home... he had sex with you again cause he thought he'd calmed you and you were OK with it. This is coming from a girl, he is not at fault, he may be at fault for wanting to have sex with you, but if you weren't ready you should have said. There will be th

[Anonymous]

shame on him once..shame on you twice...basically you made the mistake once...yes you will never get your virginity back...a lot of people don't have the fairy tale first time but remember you regret it now so its best to not see him again and being with him just cause you're lonely is giving him the excuse to use you. Just stop seeing him and wait for someone that feels right.

[Anonymous]

Haha owned. Props to the guy.

[Seraphim]

Dude that is such a jerk comment...I feel bad that I chuckled a bit :P

[lucyloo]

those who will only want to get there end away, girls as well as boys, and if they can get it, there'll have it.

[Anonymous]

Not all guys are like that.. But you should of made it clear from the get go

Dont depend on one person for Ur happiness.. You got to do things for yourself and become stronger for yourself

[Radford]

SHes right.If you want someone they will come to you my mom says stop serching and be found you can do it :)