What can I do to get him more aggressive in bed?

[NotUpForGames77]

Dating a guy who has let me know he's not very forward but said he feels comfortable trying to be with me. He's big into snuggling and cuddling/kissing/touching but once we get into the actual sex he fumbles. I of course take over so to not completely ruin the mood but how do I fix this. I want him to be more aggressive/forward in bed but don't want to hurt his feelings or give him too much pressure. How do I do this?

[Genesis5]

Yea,... sometimes trying to tell your partner what you really want when you are not completely into everything yet is hard without making them think that they are no 'good'.

You could try doing a few things,....

* Rent a porno, one where things are going on that you want to have done to you, (you may have to rent a few), and point that out to him. "Ooooo, it would be great if you did that to me," or " wanna try that?"

* Have a night where each of you tells the other person exactly what to do. This also builds confidence and trust. To get things really started you might also want to invite Jim Bean, or Jack Daniels.

* You could also act out on each other what you each want done to you.

Best of luck.

[sexwiseman]

Sounds to me he is inexperienced.....you can be aggressive by saying.. 'I really like it when I'm bitten in the neck...'; 'or I really like it when the guy talks dirty to me...' you don't have to hurt his feelings about it but you can definitely tell him what you want this way. Also, let's say he is in the middle of the act and he is not doing so well, then you can say something like, 'yea, that feels good, now try this...' I had a girl once tell me....'oh yea, that feels good, now pull my hair and watch me explode.' I got the hint! :)

[marisa]

Has he dated a lot of women in the past or just had a few long-term relationships? If he hasn't had any real long-term relationships, he may have never been "taught" how to do things right. Ex-girlfriends are good for that sometimes :) So now, you've got to teach him. Give him instructions and lots of "yeah, like that! oooh, that's hot" (or whatever) so he isn't extremely embarrassed. Try to direct him in a way that he thinks it's just dirty talk...but in reality, you're trying to take this high-school play to Broadway. :) Good luck

[joecollege]

"yeah, like that! oooh, that's hot" (or whatever.. HAHAHAHAHA! Great advice, and it's a really funny mental image. ;)

[Genesis5]

Can we suggest the GirlsaskGuys.com allow voice recordings. This would be so much better with one. :)

[loveAnsweringOldQS]

Yea,... sometimes trying to tell your partner what you really want when you are not completely into everything yet is hard without making them think that they are no 'good'.

You could try doing a few things,...

* Rent a porno, one where things are going on that you want to have done to you, (you may have to rent a few), and point that out to him. "Ooooo, it would be great if you did that to me," or " wanna try that?"

* Have a night where each of you tells the other person exactly what to do. This also builds confidence and trust. To get things really started you might also want to invite Jim Bean, or Jack Daniels.

* You could also act out on each other what you each want done to you.

Best of luck.

[Sweetfeetpeet]

Direction is the key. That and be more assertive and practice make perfect.

[johnsmith2116]

Sounds like either he is shy or inexperienced .

You can simply be aggressive and show him that's it's okay to touch you and be firm with you, and give him feedback that you like it and want him to do that more next time the two of you are together .

Sometimes they have to be brought out of their shell . ;-)

[Aedak]

Practice, practice, practice.