What does he mean when he says I'm intense in bed?

I have recently started seeing someone (we have known and had romantic feelings for each other for years) and we have had what I thought was good sex. Last night he told me that I was really intense in bed. He told me it was a good thing, but also wanted me to be a little more relaxed once in a while. So now I'm thinking that saying I'm intense was actually a bad thing. Any thoughts about what he means?
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He said repeatedly that it was a good thing and not an insult but still...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well it could mean a lot of things. Maybe he means you like to go hard and fast and he is more of a slow love making type. Maybe you like to go from one position to the next and he's more into one or two positions and not changing much and going slower?

    If I was you I would ask him to be more specific. Ask him what he wants you to do/not do to be less intense. Ask him to be specific on what your intense about? If he's open to communication I'm sure you two can get to the bottom of it in no time and have an understanding of each other better. Just make sure if you have to change some that he gives you what you want (more intense) from time to time also! :)

    Have Fun! :)

  • It could mean a lot of things. It could mean, as previously suggested, that you're too dominant or take charge when he'd like to do so. It could also mean that he likes that you are fully and completely present in the moment. I suggest that you sit down with him outside the bedroom and talk to him. Tell him he won't have to defend what he says and you need to mean that. Then ask him to explain what he meant. Shut up and listen. Stay quiet until he's done and let's you know hes' ready for you to talk. Then discuss it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Maybe you're too wild or dominating or something. Are you the one who decides when and how to change positions? Are you eager to do things your own way? Then that could be it. Maybe he just wants you to be a bit passive.

    Again, as you said he didn't mean it as an insult or anything, so don't get too hooked on it. And if it really bothers you that much, just ask him how he'd want you to relax.

    • He is the one who usually wants to change up positions. I'm definitely not someone who just wants things my way. I am, however, pretty "enthusiastic" in the bedroom.

    • That might be it then. :D

  • Hmm...I would wait for other opinions, since I'm not really an expert, but I think maybe he means you're too wild. So maybe take things a little slower? I'm not entirely sure though. That would just be my guess.

  • It is a great compliment to you. Means you are a great f*ck in simple English!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • There's all kinds of sex and different strokes fit different folks

    He might be describing a goal oriented gal in the sack vs. a gal that just takes pleasure there as it comes/cums.

    This is complementary on several levels.

    Currently you get the job done & its pleasurable for encores

    He feels you are also suited for more laid back sex, something he thinks you'd get added pleasures from

  • Could be good or bad...only he knows.

  • that was my boyfriend's first impression too lol

  • Sounds like he likes what you do but he wants it slower more often