What's Wrong with my Libido?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend now for 7 months and my libido isn't really that active anymore. Hasn't been for 6 months. The first month was good but after that it sex just isn't my main focus.

It's still really strange though, because before him I dated my ex for 2 years and my libido was really really high. We had sex 3 times a day every day. It was explosive and I couldn't get enough. Now, with my current boyfriend (whom I love to bits and do find very attractive) my libido is much lower (as in 2-3 times a week, once a day of sexual activity)

My ex just had some sort of dominance over me and that really turned me on (although we broke up because our relationship was really unhealthy and we fought literally all the time). My current boyfriend tried to assert some dominance but I just can't take him seriously like that.

Also, another little side issue: my current boyfriend is 16 years older than me and when we have sex he often goes soft and can't go on. I'm actually afraid that if we have sex that we won't finish. It hurts my self esteem, makes me worry about him and frustrates me sexually.

Any advice if you understood any of that?

[k0llin]

sounds like your expectant of his early departure. you could concentrate on foreplay for the time being, and see where that goes. say 80% foreplay, and just wing the other 20% for now. i am pretty sure that it will all fire up for you again. sometimes things happen to us out of the blue. this could be that moment for you. just wait until it passes and you will be back up running. in the mean time, take what pleasure you can for now and just wait for the fire to re-ignite. if not. well you know your options. don't you? take the job in hand, toyz, etc.

[Snyxthetics]

u seem to be devote/submissive. and 16 years older is quite a thing lol. may simply not match, happens

[Asker]

Yeah, I've heard the submissive thing before. I'm kind of starting to see a pattern, but 16 years isn't that bad, my ex was 12 years older than me. Maybe sexually we are out of sync but otherwise we go so well together.

[zombiebabe]

i think that its b ecause you're are feeling sexually frustrated with your boyfriend (that you're no sure he could finish) and as a result you don't feel motivated to have sex with him.. hmmm i think you and your boyfriend should find a way to spice up your sex life or you guys won't have that type of intimacy anymore and this might have an impact on your relationship.

[Asker]

Yeah, but that's just been the cause of less sex the last couple of weeks. I don't want to just start getting into it and then have to stop. But before that I have no idea what's causing me to not want sex. by the way I'm all for spicing it up. I like doing it in different places but he doesn't always go for it.

[zombiebabe]

he should make efforts too.. you should talk to him about it and tell him that this might mess up with your relationship at some point

[Anonymous]

Because of the sexual problems, you subconsciously don't want to experience these problems again. I think that's the case. I don't think you two are sexual compatible.

[JustCallMeLeon]

Hmmmm. First guess, your guy doesn't make you feel horny like your ex. Are you taking medication?

[Asker]

No, no medication. Just my birth control. Doesn't really count, I guess lol

[JustCallMeLeon]

When did you start taking it?

[Asker]

I've been taking it for 10 months now.

[JustCallMeLeon]

Some girls get decreased libido due to birth control pills. My girl had difficulty reaching orgasm and a lot less sex desire. Only felt horny like once a week and that time i had to work overtime to satisfy her.

[Seppelson]

I know that

[Seppelson]

ok I don't know that. I never has sex three times a day. never

[Asker]

It was great, you should probably try it if your girlfriend wants to.

[Seppelson]

no I don't have the libido to want it more than one time

[Asker]

Totally fair. Sometimes once is more than enough.

[tjf780]

not the guy for you