What should I do? Fiance fingering himself in sleep?

So, its kind of gross, but when I am sleeping with my fiance in bed, he will fall asleep and then finger himself in the butt hole for hours in the night. It grosses me out. cause he shakes the bed when he does it. and it wakes me up. He doesn't know he doesn't. he doesn't remember. But he will even put his leg around me sand shake me while fingering himself. It usually only happens when he sleep naked though. :( what do I do?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Omg wow, I am experiencing the same behavior with my boyfriend. Literally at the moment he woke me up shaking the bed as well. It has been an ongoing thing over the duration of the year that we have lived together. I grosses me out also and at this point it may be a deal breaker for me. I have countless restless nights because of his behavior and I can't seem to fall back asleep after that because it is so disturbing. He too does it for an extended period of time and I even hear him sucking on his fingers to get them wet and then fingers himself. It's so bizarre and strange to me. What's even more insane is that he's even done this awake once when we were lying in bed talking after sex. I couldn't help but ask him did you just finger your ass and smell it? He of course seemed embarrassed and said "no silly, I'm just scratching, sometimes I get an itch". Well that "itch" happens daily and nightly! I don't know if he is aware that he is doing it in his sleep because he seems to be asleep and will go back to breathing heavy like he is asleep. I seriously believe it is a sexual dysfunction. Either he likes fingering himself and it's become an addiction or maybe he has a strange sleeping disorder but oh my God I cannot live a lifetime dealing with something this strange. It just may be the deal breaker for me because it utterly disgusts me. I don't even want to kiss him or let him touch me in the morning. If he does have some strange infection then even more so I don't want it!!! I'm seriously confused also, I don't know how to break it to him. So awkward and embarrassing :(

  • OMG! my boyfriend told me his ex fingered herself in her sleep.. I totally believe you.. I relate it to a mild sex addiction.. I say mild because it is an uncontrolled urge to touch down there even when sleeping does not have to be actual sex. Talk to him about it. " Ask if their are any fantasies he is to shy to share?" You may get answers out of the conversation. Least some relief for the nights..

  • Don't let her sleep naked. And well, you can tell her that he is doing so. And if he already know then tell him to see some doctor.

    • No. I am the girl. He fingers himself. And I think he enjoys it, cause he moans and breathes hard. I don't want to be mean to him, because he doesn't know he does it, but idk.

    • oh sorry, actually I'm sleepy that's why was troubling with he she stuff. Anyways, it is better if you let him know, probably it will help him get rid of it. Because if you don't tell him then probably one day you will be so fed up of this habbit of his that you will probably kick him out. So, don't screw your relationship by not telling him. This is what I think. Sorry for being offensive in the end.

    • No. Thank you. I just don't want him to become upset if I do bring it up.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • 1. He has to wear underwear to bed.

    2. He has to wear boxing gloves to bed.

    3. The thumbs and "fingers" of the gloves need to be covered in something like absorbing Jr. Or pepper spray.

    If the pants and the gloves come off during the night, then he's doing it intentionally.

    • LMAO... fisting himself with boxing gloves xD

  • He's probably massaging his prostate. Its a walnut sized shape inside the anus of males.. Its like the male version of a "g-spot. it can give considerable amount of pleasure to males. Simulate it with the penis and the orgasms can become very intense.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 7
  • Separate beds.

  • He probably has pinworm. Tell him to see a doctor.

  • Wtf? Yeah that is crazy shit there. No idea!

  • I don't believe this. I think you're making it up. And if this is true, he's probably doing it on purpose, I've never heard of 'sleep fingering', fingering your own butt requires a decent amount of dexterity and focus, not to mention lube

  • WTF! Made me laugh, thanks.

  • LOOOOL.. sorry that's disgusting try talk to him about it

  • Im not alone 🤭 my old man does this then moans and farts he does in bed on couch any where he feels need to I think it’s just strange but I call him out on it call him fudge packer

  • Hes not asleep he probably wants you to do it to him but is to embarrassed to ask. a way to find out is by making sure he is asleep then ram something up his butthole to see what his reaction is.

    • lmao

  • You mean all guys don't do that?

    No, really. If he were fingering YOU in his sleep, I'd buy it... but...Naah.

    Methinks a troll.