What should I tell my ex if I have an STD?

[Anonymous]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend.it wasn't terrible, but naturally breakups aren't great (it was even slightly mutual), but anyway I'm going to go get tested for STDs soon. I was tested right before I met my ex-boyfriend, and I never cheated on him, so if I have one, I got it from him. However, he's very strange and my friend says that if I do tell him (if I have one), then he'll tell everyone and my entire college life will be ruined. She says that if he has an STD (and we're talking about chlamydia/crabs, not HIV, which I'm not getting tested for), then he'll find out eventually the next time he gets tested. Even so I feel like I should warn him in some way. I haven't even gotten tested yet so I have no idea if I have anything (I don't have symptoms), but what should I say so that I can warn him and he won't tell anyone?

[WayTooPopular]

Don't take this the wrong way but it seems really weird to me that you are asking this question before you get tested. I don't know if you just love planning for every possible situation or something, but you should probably start worrying about this only once a result comes back positive.

Regardless, I think you'd have a moral obligation to tell him. Since I'm the only one who cares about that shit these days I'll give you another reason. Once he's in the same boat as you are, it will be in his interest to keep quiet, otherwise his whole life will be ruined too. It's not like oh if a girl has an std that's horrible but when a guy has one its perfectly fine. If he has any sense he's not going to want everyone to know any more than you will.

You did say he was strange though, so you might have to think of another way you can get him to not ruin your life. You know him better than anyone on the internet does, so it's going to be up to you to figure it out if he is in fact so weird that he doesn't mind everyone knowing he has an std.

You can be really fair about it, and just say "look I'm telling you this because I think you'll want to know, it sucks, I'm sorry man, I won't tell anyone if you won't but please do the right thing and tell future girls beforehand." Then you might discover he's a douchebag, who knew he had it all along and just doesn't care because he likes getting laid more than he likes caring for other people's incurable health conditions. It does happen.

Also don't rely on him going in to get tested to find out, it's not something a lot of guys do on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Do the same to him as you'd want him to do to you. If you find out that you have one of the STD's you mentioned, just tell him otherwise he might spread it around unknowingly. Also, ask him to not tell anyone, and if you hear someone talking about it you'll know it came from him. In that case you'll do the same, like tell everyone you got it from him. It's not be great finding out you have an STD but that goes with the price of having sex with more than one partner, and/or not being safe. Of you could have someone tell him that you're pretty sure will convince him to get tested and not tell becauseof his "own" interest.

[ArtyC]

If you only got with him after you got tested; then he gave it to you. This means he probably knew. STD's show there face pretty quickly, with the exception of HIV. So you owe him nothing. In fact if you do got something, you should kick him in the nuts. These days people should no better. I hope your test is negitive.

[Asker]

Yeah, I have no symptoms, and he claimed he was tested too. so at this point I don't know why I'm worried I just am.

[Anonymous]

tell him straight up then sue his ass if he got one.