What are your thoughts on AGGRESSIVE sex?

[Anonymous]

How is it different then passionate sex? Do you think it { Aggressive sex } feels less intimate then sensual sex? Are you more or less likely to be aggressive in bed, with some one you are in love with?

[33tango]

Q1: How is it different then passionate sex?

Sex can be full of passion without being aggressive, for most people.

What makes sex aggressive? Pacing/speed. Dialogue. Forced or play-forced actions.

So Aggressive sex can involve quick motions/ a more frantic pace, dialogue that involves telling the other person what to do, very directly, and/or forced actions/rough handling, i.e. grabbing the back of his head and grinding your crotch into his face while he goes down on you.

Sensual sex is more deliberate/slower paced, I think with less verbal communication and more gentle touching.

You can have passionate aggressive sex, and passionate sensual sex.

You could have cold/unpassionate aggressive sex, but it sounds like what I imagine is rape!

Webster on Passion:

5 a : ardent affection : love b : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c : sexual desire d : an object of desire or deep interest

Q2: Do you think it { Aggressive sex } feels less intimate then sensual sex?

Webster defines intimate as:

1 : to make known especially publicly or formally : announce

2 : to communicate delicately and indirectly : hint

Yes. Aggressive sex is less delicate and more direct than sensual sex.

Q3: Are you more or less likely to be aggressive in bed, with some one you are in love with?

Because I'm cautious of my partner's sexual comfort level based on how well we know each other, I'd say I would be less likely to have aggressive sex with someone I don't know as well. To be in love with a woman I'd need to know them pretty well. That combination means I'm less likely to have aggressive sex with a woman I'm not in love with.

For a guy, having aggressive sex with a girl you don't know well is dangerous, and could be construed as rape, depending on the circumstances.

Hope this helped!

[ready2sacrifice]

I don't think its any less intimate and still about the same, I think the more you do with a person up to a certain point makes it more intimate. If a girl likes it and you don't do it then I think that you're both missing out. As far as being in love with a person, doesn't matter, I like aggressive sex and read her body language, I think reading her and doing things she likes makes it more intimate because you're actually gettin to know them

[Asker]

Could you see yourself being aggressive with some one you knew very well, but had not been 'with' for very long 'recently' {If you guys went out long ago & just started agin.}?

[ready2sacrifice]

Yeah could be but I'm naturally aggressive, come to think about it a girl did tell me something last week, I hadnt seen her in a couple days and was being aggressive and she said wow did you miss me? So subconciously yes I was doing it without even knowing

[Asker]

Wow.. Thanks , that helps a lot.. I really just can't imagine someone being aggressive when they LIKE someone... I just always think that sort of behavior is reserved for players & people who are having one night stands or FWB... however I am extremely limited in experience so I could be totally misreading things... Do you mean you are naturally aggressive I general- like personality wise? -- Did you miss her? :-)

[ready2sacrifice]

Yes I am aggressive personality wise and yes I really did miss her, I miss her now too

[Asker]

Oh. Thtis sweet & really refereshing forme to hear.... I am with this guy & he kid of went SOLAR on me .... I don't know what happened {I've bee away 2 years & we just hooked up again recently} I am wondering how genuine feelings fit into this kind of energy, mood & contact. {I'm not into just physical relationships or just sex.. It's a turnoff - emotions are sexy, when the are cool emotions. :-) So I was just wondering if aggressive behavior was an indication of detached feelings ?

[ready2sacrifice]

Detached feelings? sounds funny to me, cause if theyre detached then you shouldnt feel them and then they wouldn't be feelings, sorry I don't know the definition I'm a little slow sometimes, especially now

[Asker]

Oh, sorry. I guess for me I equate aggression with not being connected.. you know cause if it is not slow enough to take the other person in..if things are done so fast & or hard , then I feel like I'm not with then, we are just in the same place together. I mean,do you feel like you can be as intimate with some one with aggressive sex, as you could with slow sex. - Could you 'make love ' to someone with aggressive sex?

[Natalieee]

As much as I love intimate slow passionate sex , sometimes I just prefer to go wild and be aggressive , push each other around a little and hold no boundaries. I think a mix of both is good :]

[Asker]

Thank You, that is very helpful.. My boyfriend is far more aggressive as I remember him being, & I thought maybe it was because his feelings are not as deep as they used to be. {We dated a few years ago & met up again a while ago & just stated going out.}