What are your thoughts on validation?

This has been in the back of my mind for quite a bit, but overall I would assume that MOST Men tend to feel validated by sex while with Women it's Attention. When either is given a considerable or Huge amount They generally tend to get this boost and mistake their newly inflated ego as their Idenity. Do you feel as if you ever do this? Seen plenty who have done this? Let me know.
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Attention DOES make me feel better about myself and boost the confidence a bit, but I'm also fairly modest by nature, so I never let it give me a big head.

    I do see what you describe a lot though. Girl is insecure, so any attention is good attention to her and she seeks more wherever she can [making it her identity], to feed her ego and temporarily push back that insecurity. She uses that ego to further mask herself and her insecurity, makes it the forefront of her visible personality, and the cycle continues because the attention she's getting and how she responds to it isn't healthy by nature. Those girls tend to perpetuate that ego/personality/behavior for the long term because it becomes so much of who they are or know themselves to be. The insecurity isn't quelled in a healthy manner, so it never really goes away.

    • I think some men respond the same way to their sexual 'conquests', while others remain cool-headed about it and just let it be instead of making their lives about THAT feeling of validation gained in that manner.

    • Definitely.

  • It's a very human feeling that everyone experiences at some point and time. Unless your'e a sociopath, but even then I think they need people to validate their insanity. I don't think validation is always about ego, but sometimes about wounded self esteem and feeling a desire to have someone prove that wounded self esteem wrong. I've never seen anyone who hasn't tried to gain some form of validation at some point and time. Validation in a way is just trying to get reassurance, but some people just take that to a new extreme. I think it becomes a problem when your validation seeking ways negatively impact others and/or yourself.

  • I had a friend who was beautiful and when people gave her the attention she thrived off of it. The moment a guy told her to tell me a compliment, It offended her and she wasn't gonna tell me until the guy made it a point to make sure I knew. She failed to realize that everyone will not always have eyes for her even though she was extremely beautiful.

    When someone gets comfortable with themselves, it won't matter what others think whether its great or bad or at least it shouldn't bother them. Its something that's learned and we as people can hardly seem to master it.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Variety being spice and all, I might delight at my own arrogance on a given day, one-up somebody the next, and brow-beat what I perceive to be a lessor mortal on the morrow. Of course, having the best toys can occupy a weeks worth of days in a given year, and as you note, sexual conquests provide bestly suitable fodder for a month of Sundays! Problem is, it all frays 'round the edges in time, and then the emptyness returns with a hangover. Said Solomon, "Vanity, vanity, all is vanity", and also "There's nothing new under the sun". Truer truth there never was. I stopped chasing empty busses forever before.

  • I think for a lot of men it is sex, and not just 'how many' but also the state of their sex life INSIDE a relationship.

    Men don't want sex in a relationship JUST because they are horny - its the feeling of being desired and accepted as well.

    People get validation from a lot of things, but sex is often one of the major ones for men. For women, I'd guess attention tends to rank higher then it would from men.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

2 2
  • validation is human. humans love touch and words of affirmation, its in our DNA. when we don't get it, things start to go wrong. Conversley, sometimes when we haven't gotten the right kind of validation we will take anything we can get. an inflated ego is a sure sign of a deeper inferiority complex--doubting oneself.

    I think affirmation and validation is great. The people in my life get lots of it! Along with plenty of affection, and tenderness!

  • Everyone needs a little ego stroking from time to time and that can come in many forms. It's not limited to sex for men...

    • Well yes but this is just generally speaking.

  • It is necessary but due to Facebook it has gotten out of hand for girls, this whole getting 80 likes on a picture and like 50 comments saying "omg you are so stunning <33" really goes to girls heads. In my experience for girls Facebook is a bigger validation then people in real life actually finding them attractive/

  • Very nice question! I think you are completely right.

    I know plenty of people like this.

    For us guys, getting laid can change our mood drastically... The morning after you just feel like you're the man. So it's very easy to get "overly" confident when you're getting a good amount of it.