When to warn him of my pregnancy scare?

[Anonymous]

So, my period is a couple of weeks late... after my long-distance boyfriend paid me a long weekend visit. I'm worried I could be pregnant, even though he, er, didn't go all the way in, and he didn't ejaculate. But pre-cum can contain semen, and he got close to ejaculating a couple of times. Anyway, late period plus lower back pain has me worried. I mean to buy an over-the-counter pregnancy test soon, which hopefully will find my fears unfounded. But my question is--both to guys and girls--when should I tell him? Should I warn him now that I am worried? Should I tell him if the test is positive? Should I just handle it all very quietly, even if the test is positive and I have an abortion? Another thing to keep in mind--he and I are no longer really "together." We talk a lot still, but the long distance and a few other factors make it tricky to carry out our relationship. So, obviously, I don't want to scare him... but I don't think I should just not tell him, either.

[xsimplyxpaigex]

Being a mother, lower back pain doesn't start until the baby has grown quite a bit. You are probably just paranoid and having false symptoms. That's very common. If your period is late, you should have already bought a pregnancy test. They can read up to 5 days before your period. Make sure you buy two or three because it is also very common for a test to read a fasle positive. If you have two or more pregnancy test that say positive, call your gynecologist and set up an appointment. He/she will take a urine and possibly a blood sample to confirm or deny your pregnancy. Talk to him/her first, before your [ex]boyfriend. They are very helpful.

Don't tell your [ex]boyfriend anything until you are absolutely positive you are pregnant. I don;t really know how you should tell him, though. When I found out, I ran into the kitchen ans said, "We're going to have a baby!" I was excited, as was he. Its rare to find young men to be excited about becoming a father, though...

I am 100% against abortion. I'm bot going to tell you what to do, but if you can live with the burden of killing an innocent unborn child, go ahead. I couldn't live with the guilt. But, everyone is different and everyone has their own opinions.

[bnwsmile]

I agree. I too am a Mother - of 3 in fact. If you can do the act of reproducing then you should consider yourself blessed and not punish the child. If you can lay in the bed you can sleep in it too. I agree with everything Simply has said.

[xsimplyxpaigex]

Thanks! :)

[bnwsmile]

Test-then if it's positive tell him.

BEFORE you decide on abortion if you are in fact pregnant I highly recommend watching a couple videos to see the process in different stages. You can find some on Youtube.com just search abortion. There are different ways but for the most part they are painful and leave you with a burden of a life that never got started. It will live with you forever as extreme guilt.

It's heartbreaking for me and I couldn't live knowing I killed something that was a part of me because I was just "not ready" and being selfish. Your views may indeed be different but PLEASE educate yourself before making such a HUGE decision like this.

If you can lay in the bed you should make sure you can sleep there too. Please be more cautious for the sake of an unborn child and for yourself. God Bless!

[michelle_a]

first off don't panic everything will b ok!

if it turns out positive I would tell him for sure, he may not like it but he deserves to know. but brace yourself for the reaction you may get which is he may stop talking to you and answers ur calls/texts etc. men tend to pull that crap.

if its negative don't even bother telling him, y trouble him with something that didn't even happen?

Factor in everything it old you but in the end its your decision about what you want to do, I really hope I helped even if it was just a little bit good luck!

[l-hedoniste]

Let's play, "How Would He Feel If He Didn't Know..."

You test negative: He doesn't care. (But sleeping with long-distance boyfriend without birth control? So not smart.)

You test positive, and you abort: You could tell him. But if you think he would raise a stink, you're free to tell him after the fact, or not at all. It's not really his call; he made his last decision when he decided to forego birth control. (You hear that, fellas? Skip the birth control, and you take what you get.)

You test positive, and keep: "Congratulations! You're a father!" Who doesn't love getting that call? Of course you have to tell him.

[Dantheman6500]

I would get yourself a test asap so you can know what you're dealing with. If it's negative then count your blessings and move on.

If it's positive please talk to him asap and discuss.