Why can't I cum from blowjobs or handjobs?

I'm 15 & my girlfriend gave me a handjob & blowjob today & I couldn't finish? But I can finish on my own? I am pretty nervous around this girl because I really like her, also I'm pretty new to being sexual with other people physically. I'm super comfortable with her & with being sexual with her. I only got my first handjob/blowjob about 2 months ago but I managed to finish, I'm really embarrassed that I couldn't finish. Was it just nerves? Has anyone else had this problem? If so what will help?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • May be nerves, may be not. Some guys only know how to finish himself. And sometimes it takes practice to get to the point of cumming from another person. You're probably just not very used to being blown by another person so your mind has sort of fixated on that. I know it might make her feel bad as if she's not pleasing you enough, maybe next time have her blow you then when you're very turned on, have her lick and do stuff with your balls while you do the handjob on yourself until you finish, also in between you may need to ask her to use her spit for lubricants.

    I don't know if you two are having sex yet since you are 15 but, if you are, blowjob is great for foreplay.

  • Here is what you say, "I'm super comfortable with her and with being sexual with her." That's wonderful then you go on to say, "was it just nerves?" Do you see the contradiction in that? I'll tell you how to solve this. Stop admitting that you totally calm and admit to yourself that you hell nervous about the whole thing. Then stop masturbating yourself. That is a great way to convince yourself that you can't do it with your girlfriend. When you horny be with her and don't tell me you can't always be with her. Well if you can't be with her then you don't masturbate. You wait until you are with her.

  • It could be your nerves, and you know exactly how you like it and you do it on yourself but its different when someone else does it for you. You just have to find out what works for you.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Don't freak out. Chill out. Practice, practice, practice. You've got a great excuse for your girlfriend to try again, and I'm positive you want her to, probably as soon as possible. Why you couldn't finish from the hand job, I don't know. The BJ however, truth be told most girls think they do this great, and truth be told almost all of them suck (pun intended) at giving BJs. Honestly I can't finish by BJ when most girls have done it my whole life, because most aren't very good at it.

  • Either nerves or her not doing it right for you.
    Either way the best thing you can do is to take it lightheartedly. You don't have to come. Focus on both of you feeling as good as possible. That'll get you comfortable and relaxing and then trust me, there won't be any more issues :P

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 3
  • Yes it was nerves, don't worry as you guys get closer and have more experiences together, the nerves will go away and you'll be able to cum like there's no tomorrow lol ;) Good luck :)

  • because you need more estimulation than that. Tell her to also play with your balls

  • It's not you.. it's her

  • Your penis is shy with other people, it's too afraid to jizz.

  • Lol who says you gotta cum? To me a bj or hj is the warmup that leads to the big dance in the sheets!!!

    • Right! But we're 38, he's 15. That might be all he gets.

    • Lol oh yeah!

  • I have this problem a lot, even with my wife to be. I have just learned to relax and enjoy it. If I finish in the future, I will consider it an added bonus. I just enjoy the action even when I cannot get off.

  • You are nervous.

  • you're definetly allowed to finish on your own ;) i've been in many situations where the guy eventually has to finish for himself

    • I agree

    • You need better sex videos then. Do you at least let him cum in your mouth or on your tits or play with his balls while he finishes? That's sucks. That's the point of sex, so you don't have to do it yourself. But I give you a big + for at least being understanding and not sending him home with blue balls.

  • Wow, a horny young man who can't cum? Probably nerves. Sex is very mental. More mental stimulation might help. Try having her do some dirty talking to you while she's working on you. :)