Why can't I feel anything during oral sex or foreplay?

[Anonymous]

With my current boyfriend we've tried foreplay twice. He's fingered me and eaten me out as well as felt me up but I just don't feel anything. When he fingers me he says I'm extremely tight and I know that's because I'm still a virgin, but i feel so much pressure and if it isn't a lot of pressure then I have to pee. Nothing feels good. When he eats me out its like I'm numb I don't feel anything at all. We tried grinding and that didn't do anything either I didn't feel anything. What's wrong with me? I'll get myself turned on when I think of doing things with him but then when we try it's like I lose everything. I want to lose my virginity to him but I'm afraid when that time comes I won't be able to feel anything or enjoy it. He's had more than enough experience to know what to do so I know it's not him and he's very very careful and gentle with me. I feel abnormal. Is this normal? Is it not? What can I do to fix this? Help me someone!

[Mmmmmmsmm]

Hi! I can’t give any advice or anything on how to help you but I just wanted to let you know I feel the exact same way! So you’re definitely not alone and it’s nice to know there’s other girls like me. I never actually feel aroused during oral or foreplay. Although I found that even though I know I won’t cum during sex I do enjoy penetration a lot more because I can actually feel it. During oral, I also can’t feel it at all, but sometimes my legs will start to shake but I still don’t feel anything lol. I have realized though that if I spend a long time making out and stuff with clothes on before trying anything does help me to feel a little bit more turned on.

[SarahsSummer]

Is he touching/licking your clit? Do you play with yourself and feel good?

[Asker]

The only thing I've ever done to myself was use a vibrator a couple times and I would be able to make myself orgasm. I've never done anything else to myself. I don't know where he's licking because like I said I don't really feel anything and I don't really look😔

[SarahsSummer]

Then he's missing the right spots. He needs to focus his tongue at the top of you. Try to guide him by your means and if you feel comfortable hold his head to move it in position.

[Asker]

Alright I'll try it. Is this all normal for a virgin?

[hey_now]

I feel strange offering advice on this, as I am not sure of your age. It does say 18-24, so here goes:

Before losing your virginity with your boyfriend, how about you figure out how you like to be touched? Nobody should be able to do it better than yourself. Then when you do figure it out, you can show him or help him along? Try it without the vibrator for a while; do not to get dependent on it. If you do, you may have a hard time having an orgasm without it.

I do not think there is anything wrong with you... you just need to practice with yourself and figure out your body. Good luck.

[JustPhillip]

Wtf! How come my girlfriend never wants to this with me?

[Asker]

I'm not sure. Is it abnormal?

[JustPhillip]

Do couples even have sex? My girlfriend never wants to do it and I dont want stay a virgin but she lets me suffer

[Asker]

They do I guess some people just don't want it? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm like her who knows

[JustPhillip]

Thats bullshit every girl I know that has a boyfriend has sex with him but then my girlfriend doesn't wanna do it whats the point of our relationship if you dont want to have sex

[Asker]

A relationship is so much more than just having sex you realize this right? Sex is just a component of it.

[JustPhillip]

I used to think that but then my mom told me that if I seriously want to loose my virginity I have to get a girlfriend. I thought that virginity was lost at parties and one night stands but my mom said that I was wrong and it's through a relationship

[Asker]

It is. Meaningful sex is at least. Anyone can go to a party and get screwed but that's a dangerous game. So you've never done anything with her? Not even to try?

[JustPhillip]

No we haven't done anything at all. She always flirts real sexually on the phone but then in person she never wants to do anything

[Asker]

The best advice I can suggest is to talk to her about trying it in person and if she still doesn't care for it then just let it be

[JustPhillip]

She says she wants to do it but when I ask she says no not yet