Why can't my 19 year old boyfriend hold an erection anymore?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend usually can stay hard for a pretty long time and get hard again soon after coming. However, him and I recently had vaginal sex for the first time and I took his virginity. After that we tried to have sex a second time in the same day and his dick went soft after putting a condom on and trying to insert it into me. We tried to get it hard again and nope... as soon as it happened it went soft seconds later. I told him I was disappointed and I didn't talk to him for a few minutes after that. But then apologized. The next morning we tried to have sex again. After putting on the condom & trying to insert, it went soft again. I told him too much p*rn can cause this but he said he doesn't watch p*rn . I asked him if I'm just not hot enough and he says that's not it either. I'm not sure what's going on and we're both really frustrated about this. What could be the cause? I want this to be fixed.

[3gmoney3]

Just so you know, your reaction was probably the worst possible thing you could have done. If a guy is having a difficult time staying hard, the absolute last thing he needs is his partner antagonizing him about it and then challenging his attraction to her. There can be a lot of causes for this. Some of them are physical, but unless your boyfriend is extremely overweight or has the cardiovascular system of a much older man, it's almost certainly mental. Now the next time you two are intimate he's going to have you yelling at him in his head. That usually does wonders for an erection.

As for causes, well, nerves probably have a lot to do with it. Putting a condom on can actually be a pretty stressful thing your first couple of times. It's a very obvious break in the sexual action where all of the focus is on how quickly you can do this act that may determine whether or not your partner gets pregnant. It's stressful, and the more you focus on it, the less you focus on how aroused you are. Lose your erection once while doing it and suddenly it's not just the pressure of putting on the condom, but putting it on quickly so that you don't go soft. Now you have multiple things to worry about (especially if your girlfriend gave you hell the first time it happened).

One suggestion: try putting the condom on for him next time. That will take some of the pressure off (as long as you put it on correctly). It's also possible that if he's a bit girthy down there he may need larger condoms. Having your penis in what feels like a vise grip isn't really conducive to rock hard boners.

[Asker]

The condom sounds like it could be the cause however, we've done other sex acts where he had put on a condom and it was still hard afterwards and he's cum in a condom before. So I don't think that's 100% percent the cause. As for "giving him hell". Well, I don't resort to yelling or name calling. I merely told him, "That's disappointing." and went out for a smoke on the veranda for a few minutes so he could be alone to fix his issue. Came back to apologize and ended the night. I guess I'll try putting it on for him and possibly buying bigger ones. Hell, I'll even pay for his therapist visit if he feels his depression is causing it. Thank you.

[3gmoney3]

Thanks for mho. I'm hoping it means that things worked out better for you.

[MichaelE]

Wow! After a 1 year of frustration magic meds really worked 👍 (I’ve got them from * GET365CVL * ❤️ to save $). I got an erection after 15 minutes and was able to put on a condom without rushing or worrying about losing my erection. It was so nice. It can help with ED in early stage, later you can decrease dose and as last step try without.

[Klaatu51]

i guess it either has to do with nervousness or low sex drive basically.

by the way, if he's grumpy often or likes to stay at home instead of going out is a result of low sex drive basically... just to let you know :-)

[Asker]

He's clinically depressed but he seems to have a high sex drive when he's with me.

[Climber]

Find a way to put the condom in a stimulating way, not just a technical action. Example: unroll, it with your teeth, licking his penis a the sam time. Orvfind other creative ways.

[matheus_mb]

I think that medical help is the best thing to do.

[Princessofpersia]

He is prolly just nervous

[scrap422]

Condom shy it happens to guys sometimes

[Anonymous]

You sound very demanding and prob put a lot of stress on this kid. He used to have a good dick and I think its pressure from you that's causing the issue.

[Asker]

I already apologized and bought him dinner. Nothing more I can do.

[Asker]

The rest is his own problem. I don't control his dick or what he thinks about.

[Anonymous]

Alas he is no more a boy... Rip