Why is it a deal breaker if a girl won't go on birth control?

I think that is unfair. Guys must care about sex more then he cares about the girl... to put sex first before the girls health. Birth control can because some horrible symptoms and weight gain. I would rather not have sex then go on birth control.
Updates:
+1 y
It's suposed to say CAN CAUSE some horrible symptoms, not can because
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's no secret that marriages are made and broken in the bedroom. Sex is an important factor in any relationship. Condoms kill the feeling and it's just not as exciting. I got pretty good at the withdrawing technique (not recommended at all though).

    Try not make the usual mistake many women make and relate a few things into him not caring about you. In some cases it's true. In some cases it's not and will most likely annoy him if you carry on about it, therefore you will make your conspiracy theories a reality.

    Best thing you can do if you want a diplomatic approach is make a doctors appointment, take him with you and ask the doc about all the risks. Chances are 10/1 he will recommend Jasmine (least side effects on the market last I heard). Anywho ask him about the risks involved. If you aren't willing to take any of those risks simply explain it to the BF. Nobody can force you to do something you don't want to do.

    • condoms kill the feeling? that's your excuse? that's really selfish that you care more about your pleasure then your womans health. I have heard bad things about ALL hormonal birth control... it's not really good to be on any of it. At least all you men have to worry about is a bit of rubber that can not affect your health, unless you are allerjic to the rubber, but then you can just get latex free condoms if you are.

    • Why do a lot of women always turn it into the most extreme case? I always cared but there are ups and downs to any relationship, luckily any of the women in question didn't have a big problem with it and only one decided to use it. Just because it's an issue does not by any means mean that I didn't care. If a guy chooses to use a condom it's called a compromise, not that he values you more or less. And yeah for me it kills the feeling, I battle to even stay errect with one of those things on

    • I just think it's mean that you would rather see your woman go though side effects of birth control then to wear a condom, and your only complaint is "it doesn't feel as nice for me". I would just not have sex if I had a boyfriend who wouldn't wear a condom.

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  • That's not a deal breaker (to me at least). I don't mind condoms. They're a necessary evil! =)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Ok...firstly, yes it can have some side effects. To say that weight gain is "horrible"? There are far worse things like pulmonary embolism, stroke and aneurysm which is associated with some types of birth control and being a smoker.

    Now lets get down to brass tax...do you care about yourself? do you want to have a child at your age? I'm guessing you do care about yourself and that you don't want a child! Do you really trust anyone to care about you as much as you do? Hells no! Birth control is to prevent pregnancy, a condom is to prevent both pregnancy and STD's. So if you guy wants it, I'd be insisting on a condom whether I'm on a type of birth control or not. And Yes men care more about sex than the girl! Did you really need to ask that? So with all this in mind, I think that you should be the deal breaker to sex, rather than birth control.

    • yes I care about myself, that is why I wouldn't purposley take a drug that I don't need. I would rather not have sex. If my boyfriend wants sex he can use a condom, pull out, and do it when I'm not fertile.

    • If you read it, I did say " I'm guessing you do care about yourself and that you don't want a child!" That wasn't really up for debate... I totally agree with your stand point on a condom but pull out method is not reliable. My only issue with what you said, is "Birth control can because some horrible symptoms and weight gain" Weight gain should be the least of your worries.

    • Im more concirned about the health symptoms... that is why I said horrible symptoms first. But I also wouldn't like to put on weight because I am nice and slim now. Like I said before, I would rather not have sex then go on birth control.

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  • You said it *CAN* because horrible symptoms. Is that your case though?

    • @ update: so you're just doing this because IN GENERAL it causes horrible symptoms, but not YOU. You're basically creating problems for no reason at all.

    • why would I purposley take a drug that might make me sick, just for a man that wants me to so he can have sex... what's wrong with condoms? at least they don't hurt anyone.

    • First of all, did you even try going on BC to see if the symptoms were that bad? I'd say you're BOTH responsible in this.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • She doesn't have to go on the Pill, but there has to be *some* birth control in the relationship, because she probably doesn't want to be the mother of my child.

    • condoms? they are the only type that don't have side effects

    • It's what I use. Never had a problem.

  • My girlfriend's on Implanon. The only side effect for her so far has been a near-complete elimination of her period. Rarely (maybe once in six months) she'll have a day where she has a slight bit of spotting, but that's it.

    I think she loves it more than she loves me.

    Anyway, both men and women like birth control for pretty much the same reasons. They like sex, and don't want kids (right now, anyway).

    • most women aren't that lucky, I know a few girls who have gotten very sick, had bad mood swings, or put on a lot of weight from going on birth control (and it doesn't matter what type they are all as bad as each other). Plus it is natural for women to have their periods, I would not like it if I didn't have mine, it a part of being a woman. at least men don't have to worry about getting any symptoms... they just care about the sex.

    • I don't know any women that have suffered as you say from going on birth control, and a full 70% of the adult female U.S. population use some form of it, and only 42% of those use it entirely for contraceptive reasons. For my girlfriend, it's almost medically necessary. And regardless of all that, you make it sound like the only reason a woman would ever go on birth control is because men want to f*ck her. That's a disingenuous statement at best, and relatively denigrating to women in general.

  • i agree with u...some guys just are not ready for this hence birth control too bad such guys exist in our society...how can you stop a life frm coming

  • definitely I wouldn't need any girl to go on birth control.

  • Having sex without a condom is the only reason guys get girlfriends in the firstplace. Condoms SUCK!

  • Condoms are ineffective enough that if you have sex with them 100 times, there's a moderate chance that one time will lead to pregnancy.

    On the other hand,

    Birth control makes your period shorter, yes has weight gain.. but most of the weight goes to your boobs. Its cheaper, and won't be forgotten in the heat of the moment.

    My girlfriend makes me use a condom or pull out every time, even though she is on birth control. And you know what? That is fine by me.

    Pregnancy and a child wouldn't ruin my life. It won't ruin ANYONE'S life (unless they already have several kids and can't afford another). But it WILL change and limit your life. I don't want that right now. I am not ready to stop living for me and start living for my kid. I will be someday, but not today. So the more birth control the better.

    If you don't like the pill, get an IUD.

    • if you use a condom, pull out and only have sex when the girl is not fertile (she is only fertile a few days of the month) it is unlikely that she will get pregnant. I don't see why I should put hormones into my body that can make me sick and fat when I don't need to. Like I said before, I would rather be abstinent.

    • If your abstinent then you don't have a problem. But I would keep a condom around so that when you get caught up in the moment you don't say screw it and get pregnant. Sperm can live inside you for 7 days. And your fertile days vary every month. You can even be fertile during your period. That is NOT safe planning. A kid is a HUGE deal, and I want to protect myself at every angle because I am responsible.

  • Because condoms are not 100% effective, and if a girl won't take any birth control, then it's like a signal that she's not that bothered about pregnancy.

    And if a girl gets pregnant, then a guy will be financially ass-raped for the rest of his life, in terms of paying for a kid he clearly didn't want (because he was wearing a condom).

    So yeah, f*** that sh*t. Girl wants a baby? Let her find some other sucker.

    • if you use a condom, pull out and only have sex when the girl is not fertile (she is only fertile a few days of the month) it is unlikely that she will get pregnant. I would rather not have sex at all if the guy wasn't happy with that. Birth control is unhealthy.

    • That's your choice. My choice is to dump her.

    • yeah because your selfish and care more about sex then your girlfriends health

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