Why do I get aroused physically but don't feel aroused?

[Anonymous]

Now I've been talking to this guy for about 9 months and seeing him occasionally...I want to be around him and stuff...but when I kiss him I feel like I'm concentrating on what I'm doing...I hear people describe kissing as this amazing thing but to me it feels like work...The thing is it might just be because 1) I'm nervous so I'm thinking too much or 2) because its my first ever kiss so I don't want to mess it up..I ask another question on hear early and someone said that although I get "wet" while kiss the fact that it feels like work means that we have no chemistry...But when I'm away from him I just want to be around him and now he's mad at me and I feel depressed and all I can think about is him and wishing he wld talk to me soon...So my question is am I into him or not and if I am into him how is it possible that my body cld get so aroused and yet I don't actually feel aroused...

[Anonymous]

So it was your first kiss? My first kiss, I wasn't aroused... it was sweet but nothing spectacular... by the 3rd time I had the hang of it and there was no going back now! lol

After the first kiss, he knew I was still a little nervous about kissing, but he was so sweet and made it easier for me... I picked it up surprisingly fast.. it's natural.. try not to think too much... just go with what you feel.. it feels like work because your thinking too much about it.. it doesn't mean you have no chemistry... Not being aroused by your first kiss is not a big deal...

I hope the reason he's mad at you has nothing to do with your kissing... because he'd be a major jerk if that were true...

[Asker]

Well my first kiss was with him on another night...this was my second kiss and it was more of making out...he doesn't know I never kissed anyone b4 though...I already feel so inexperienced I could tell him I never kissed anyone b4 but I don't think I came off as inexperienced because he was so into it..so hopefully it was good...but I felt like I had to think about what I was doing too much... I'm not sure why he's mad at me...its not about the kiss...I think it was something I said or the...

[Asker]

fact that I was so hesitant with everything that happened that night...we've been talking for about 9 months..and well we never actually went out on dates but we have the same frens so that's the only times we see each other... So I told him that this wasn't something I normally do...and I told him I didn't know if he did this with a lot of girls because where not even together and basically I was just trying to make him understand my hesitation and why I want to take things slowly...

[Anonymous]

Simple statement. You do not have a problem. Arousal can be very subtle. He won't judge your technique. Once you have trained yourself and are in the groove, it will no longer feel like work and you will see that arousal was always there.

[yopyopyop]

It's just that you don't love him. The body is interested in sex, hence the physical arousal, but the mind isn't.