Why do girls wait so long to have sex?

Guys can look at a girl and immediately want/have sex with a girl. What does it take for a girl to cross that threshold? I'm generalizing a lot, but I believe the question to be genuine. Guys being so willing and women not. Why?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I liked super curious's answer.

    I don't know if girls wait so long...a lot of my friends have waited to have sex with a guy when they first started dating him but eventually have had sex with him.

    You said a guy can just look at a girl and want to have sex...

    A girl can feel that too...but to me that's just purely physical...I don't think women naturally feel that way so easily, as men do...We're just wired differently. Sex means different things for men and women.

    I might think a guy is really sexy and is attractive, but then would I have sex with him? Do I feel like this guy actually likes me? Does he care for me, my body and my feelings? Basically, does me make me feel good? If I feel these things from him, then it's easier to cross the threshold.

    I can't say as a woman that I think a guy is hot and I immediately want sex without having these thoughts .

    It's true there are greater risks for a girl...pregnancy etc... which can happen even when a girl is super careful and using contraceptives...

    But the bigger thing for me is if I do allow myself to cross the threshold and just go for the sex, and then find the guy doesn't care for me. I can't help but feel used and dissapointed.

    E So I avoid that feeling and don't cross the threshold. However, girls are different too as some people have said. I'm a shy girl, I want to be in a relationship. I've got a close friend who is the opposite...she isn't shy at all and wants guys' attention. She has had sex with loads of guys...but that was some years ago...and now she ends up wanting the same thing- the attention of a guy who actually likes her... I think women are all wired to want that- a relationship/love (and guys too really). So now she's at this point where she stops herself from crossing the threshold too.

  • For some women, it's due to beliefs that sex should only be shared with someone you're in a long-term, committed, loving relationship---and that takes time to develop.

    But even for women who are more open-minded about sex, there are still a lot of negatives that we're faced with if we have sex "too soon":

    1. Earning a reputation as a "slut".

    2. The guy losing respect for you (a lot of guys assume that if you have sex with them quickly, you have sex with all guys quickly, and thus, you're a slut and not girlfriend/wife material)

    3. If you have sex with a guy, and it doesn't turn into a long-term relationship, you've just added another "notch on your belt"---and many guys see a girl who has had "too many" sexual partners as undesirable, so future guys might not want to have relationships with you.

    4. Getting pregnant unintentionally and having the guy split, so you have to deal with the consequences on you own.

    5. Getting used for sex (like, if a girl wants a long-term relationship with a guy, but he's just interested in sex, he gets what he wants out of the deal but she doesn't---in this case, girls want to be with a guy for awhile and be sure he wants the same thing as she does).

  • It's not that we don't know we want to, we do, we just restrain ourselves...Immediately having sex has consequences for girls..If we do to soon we can get the bad rep, the man looses a part of his respect for her, we get old/boring, chance of pregnancy, and we are more prone to let emotions take over therefore get a broken heart...A girl that crosses that threshold, In MY opinion, is either very confident and knows herself and what she wants, or very insecure with herself and needs the attention, or is just easy..but that's my feelings on the topic, I'm sure everone has their own opinions

Most Helpful Guys

  • Lots of stuff, like - better chances of finding something genuine, THOUGH no better chances of succeeding in actually finding someone. Sometimes religious reasons, others influence (parents, friends, media). Self-respect isn't the same as finding something genuine in my opinion, so I'm going to state this as well.

    • I forgot something: "Guys being so willing and women not." Actually, all humans are willing. It's the pressure both genders face that put them on opposite teams. In the end, doesn't matter what gender should do what (ie girls waiting for sex, guys encouraged to take what they can get), the real pressure is compromise.

  • Most girls don't want to be the "hit it and quit it" girl. Guys, by contrast, usually don't care.

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 1
  • it took me quite a few years to find out that it's all about trust and feeling comfortable.

    there's a lot of handsome guys out there, only a few of them can make me feel like that.

  • Because for a lot of women, sex is about much more than just sexual pleasure. Plus the stakes are a lot higher for a woman having sex than a man.

    • I think your kind of over generalizing because it canbe vice versa with some women. Overall it maybe that he/ or she has certain values and beliefs and just wants to live up to them. On top of that he or she may not want to do something that can interfere with certain plans that he or she may have in life. It's not that a girl may not want to, she just needs to get some things accomplished first.

    • Hence why I said 'a lot', not 'all'. As for your other points - I don't understand why you're disagreeing with me. You basically just restated what I said in a different way? I'm not meaning to be argumentative here, but I'm just a bit confused.

  • Girls risk a lot when it comes down to having sex .

    • "Success in life comes from taking risks and chances." Just had to explain this on my exam yesterday, lol.

    • Okay lets put it that way but what if the girl gets pregnant most guys aren't willing to take responsibility .

    • We're in the 21st century and moving forward, though on bumpy roads, to the 22nd. She's guilty of being stupid for: choosing a bad guy and not using contraception properly.

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  • For me, I need to feel the value in what I do, sex too. I must wait until I'm sure that I love and beloved.

  • cause guys get the sex and then they leave