Why do guys like going to the club with their guy friends?

[amber-lee]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now and he likes hanging out with his buddies which I have no problem with, the only thing is that his guy friends are mostly all single and thus like going out to the clubs. Yes me and my girls like going out dancing but its to dance with each other not the opposite sex. I have been single before I know what guys are like out there and how the try to dance with girls. They like it when the girl grinds against their penis. Do they not? How do I know he's not out there doing the same thing? Oh and P.S that's how he met me at a bar dancing so I know how he dances. Should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

Well, the reality is that he could be doing all sorts of stuff. You really cannot know nor can you regulate it. My ex-boyfriend was a notorious player and PUA (he used it all on me in a club, so, like you, I knew what he did) and I tried to be cool about it but I hated him going out with his friends to clubs. It didn't help any that several of his friends were horrible womanizers and they were in their 30's and still acting like they were in college, oh, and they were single.

I finally realized I just had to let go of my fears. If he did grind up on a girl, or grope her, I would never know. If he had sex with her I would never know. But if a guy is fooling around it does eventually come out in the long run. If he treats you right in other ways and is affectionate and sexual at home, I say you have to forget about the rest. There is no way to keep your romance going and put him on restriction from hanging with his friends.

[TropicalBreeze1984]

It's pretty simple, he doesn't want you to know what is going on when him and his boys go to the club. It doesn't mean he is cheating on you but what if he did start dancing with a girl, it will bother you to some extent.

Majority of the time whenever couples go to clubs they always end up in a fight because maybe he looked at a girl in a certain way or you danced a little too slutty with a guy

At this point, you can't stop him from going to the club, you met him there, and he will continue to go their with his boys.

It's either you trust him at this point or move on. Trust me, no man is perfect, every man looks, flirts, its all if you want to deal with it...

[blueyaa]

If that is how you guys met and you are still together than you don't have to worry about him looking for other women to go home with. I would recommend to ask him about it, don't assume he does it and don't try to make 'rules' for him because that will make it seem like you don't trust him. It is a judgment call for him, you should trust him especially if you have been in a relationship that long.

But ask him if you can go out with him and the boys a couple times, you won't be crashing their party. And that could be a lot of fun for you two again.

[amber-lee]

Thats the problem, he won't let me go out with him and his friends and he is very different when he's drinking. Heck he has hit on my friends in front of me while drunk. so why wouldn't he do that behind my back. And I know he won't go home with them, I live with him and would notice.. lol but its what he's doing when he's out.

[blueyaa]

Oh, well yes drinking does change a lot of things. Could you ask his friends to keep an eye on him, I'm sure they know that he loves you and wouldn't want him to ruin his relationship with you. How could you notice if he brought someone home? That's what the couch downstairs is for. ;)

[canadatravelmeister]

if he acts cool with it, and not weird around you when getting home, he probably is not doing anything. But, it´s always a possibility, so it comes down to your trust. Can't change a clubber, especially when its his friends that want to go.

However, the fact he never wants you out with him would concern me.

[dave216]

Yes, very worried. You seem to exteamly insecure. If you can't get over your insecurity it will strain any relationship you ever have.

[weisle1]

Guys don't change because you want them to. If he went to clubs before you met, he will go to clubs after you meet. The only difference, he won't pick up on girls. If you don't want a guy that will go to night clubs, don't meet a guy that goes to night clubs.

The thing is when you were single and going to clubs and watching the guy there. You only noticed the guys that were looking for action, because those that WEREN'T looking for it, weren't being noticeable.

[amber-lee]

That is true.