Why do guys masturbate when they have a girlfriend?

I live with my boyfriend and it's really starting to piss me off when I catch him masturbating to porn. Why can't he come wake me and do it with me? Makes me think I'm horrible at it or something. And we have sex only once or twice a week. Sometimes not at all in a week. I probably masturbate every other day because we don't have sex enough. I fear it will get to the point that I will get it from someone else. Dating for a year and a half and it's already like we have been married for years.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • OK, seenthatmovietoo.

    1) it isn't that whacking off is a substitute for sex but.it is a release that does not require tuning into someone elses life. he can be totally self absorbed and get off to 'whatever' images he wants without pressuring you to go along. Hint: what porn was he watching? You may learn his kink isn't something you WANT to deal with. I.e. if he's fixated on anal and you're not into it then cut some slack unless you're offering up what he wants.

    2) No one controls or allows anyone elses ability to get off. The tables turn both ways. Before protesting too much it might be insightful to ask if you're a bit difficult to make love to. Please don't take it wrong but sometimes the screwing you get isn't worth the screwing you get. That also works both ways and you need to see if this works for you and since you asked the question then perhaps it doesn't.

    3) Treat it with poise and humor. Walking in on him with a boner watching some chick that loosely resembles you. you might offer "Oh good you've got him ready for me" and walk over and take over the situation.literally. This will likely change his perspective very quickly.

    It is not feasible that two peoples libidos align perfect. If you're horny and he's watching TV then walk over and grab him by the belt and take him to bed.he'll get the message. It is my experience that many times he's not getting 'something' that he wants and watching porn allows that fantasy to bloom. When you never get yourself off without him, should he feel bad?

    I had a friend who's girlfriend whined about him masturbating but then would make him jump through the flowers and dinner hoops in order to get laid when she wanted it every bit as much as he did.she just wanted the ability to say No at the end. I advised to let her say No. And then whack off immediately in her presence. She could join or not join but it took her power play out of the deal. Harsh? Perhaps.

    Also many girls are not open or forthright in asking for it. Plainly. Openly. Men are thick, but most guys would love to get laid rather than whack off but jumping thorugh the hoops from Ms. High Maintenance gets in the way. If you are horny then enforce your will. Walk up, kneel down, start a BJ until such point that you get what you want. End of problem. Honestly girls have sooooooo much more power to resolve this type issue than guys do.

    Really. Or it's all in his head and he want's/needs a different type of stimulai.

    Good luck.

    • No need to answer this question. Seenthatmovietoo has done an excellent job allready.

  • Want a mistr™? I am coining this word. Mistr™ is the male equivelant to mistress. Like God and Goddess.

    Sometimes a guy masterbates to porn because he is afraid that you won't do the things they do on tv. Maybe he fears that you would tell everyone that he can only get it up if he does that kinky stuff, if you ever found out and broke it off with him. Maybe he spanks it to porn because it is his way of staying faithful to you while fantasizing about other women. Plus guys are visually stimulated.

    I don't need to have sex that much, though it is quite wonderful if it does happen. Even if I don't finish, if I get her off I'm happy. Heck, let me eat out a girl at least 3 days a week and I'm happy. Maybe I should find a friend that would just let me eat her out, nothing more.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You should try to initiate sex sometimes if you don't, or more often it you do sometimes now. Honestly, most guys are so easy - just kiss him, grab his crotch, and tell him that you "need to be f***ed hard"! If you're not used to acting like this, it will be weird, but it will work.

    Guys love both porn and jerking off - even when they have girlfriends - it's just the way they are. It doesn't mean that he is unhappy with you. Have you told him how you feel? Just try telling him that you wished he had sex with you as much as he watched porn. See if you can watch porn with him - you'll probably be doing it in five minutes after the porno starts.

    What kind of porn does he watch? Are there things in the pornos that he wants to try?

  • Well you said you get pissed when he doesn't come to you when he wants something? You also said that you masturbate every other day? You guys need to work on your communication. You should go to him when you want it as well. and as for fearing you'll get it from someone else? You guys need a serious talk.

  • make him have more sex with you! control him and make him please you maybe if he gets enough of that he won't need to masturbate and neither will you

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • He might not think you want to have sex that often. Have you told him?

    Next time you "catch" him masturbating to porn, try being funny and sexy about it, and not taking it so personally. Tell him that fantasy is okay but if he wants a real woman you're ready and waiting. If he'd still rather jerk off to porn than be with you afterwords, he might have a more serious problem.

  • Listen, you're letting this get too far. Tell him. Now. Only people that can talk about sex should have sex. Otherwise, it gets too complicated and can ruin a relationship.

  • If or when you know that he is doing that. Go over watch a little and join in. Then tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him that it's ok to wake you up to watch & participate and that you think it's fun too and fulfills your needs.

  • Masturbation is normal, healthy behavior. Men and women continue to masturbate even in committed relationships. If you want to have sex with him at these times, simply request he involve you. You might masturbate with him (which is hot) or choose to have regular sex. Address the not enough sex issue now, it only gets worse.

  • actually it could be that ur sex peak and his peak during the day are at different times.he could be most alive when he is finished work or school and urs could be just when ur going to bed.check the time when he mastrubates most or when you actually do have sex and see if its around the same time each day.one thing to do is to just surprise him in the middle of the night with sex.not many men will say no to that.

  • We masturbate because it is a quick easy way to get off without worrying about anything else. It allows us to release and fantasize and deal with a partners feelings. Saying that though does not mean it should be the only way a guy gets off. So you have a point. If he ignores sex with you and masturbates to porn then there is something he wants that he's not getting from you ,doesn't mean its your fault, could be some weird fantasy that he isn't willing to share or feels uncomfortable sharing. You should try to find out if there is something he wants you to explore with him. What kind of porn is he watching. is it always blow jobs, is it schoolgirls, maybe he has a panty fetish or likes s&m. I can only tell you that if he has those predispositions, he will find a way to satisfy them. If they include you, great! If not, then you will get excluded.

    • No, It's not like he turns me down and insantly goes to his porn. If that were the case we would be done with. But a lot of the time when I want it he's not in the mood. I think he has a low libido or something. But with him knowing that when ever he wants it, I'll do it and with how I'm constatnly horney, I think its shitty that he won't wake me when he's in the mood.

  • well I think that is something that you whould talk to him about don't avoid it tell him how you feel tell hime taht your worried

  • well he for sure is horny if he's choking the chicken a lot. there could be a number of reasons for this: 1. you need to lose weight or make yourself more attractive so that you'll turn him on and he'll want to do stuff with you. (I don't know what you look like, but that could be the problem)

    2. maybe you don't communicate enough and he doesn't think you want it that often.

    that's really the only reasons I can think of. but a good idea is to surprise him one day and jump on him and take off both of your clothes and have some good sex. that should spark some new fire.

  • why would you get from someone else just bcoz he masterbate?

    dnt you sometimes prefer to justlsay in ur bed and have a peaceful touch?

  • you're going to have to tell him because he most likely thinks that either you don't enjoy having sex with him, or that you're not as horny as he is

  • well that's good, he's tryin out soem else, and he shouldn't because he gets enough from you anyway, seems like he's spoiled

  • look sweetheart...if your boy masturbates its normal. When you catch him bating to porn, just join in. enough said.

  • Well, It's good that you realize that you don't have sex enough.

    This is what I see.You masturbate, he masturbates, you both want sex. So why aren't you doing it? RIGHT NOW! lol.

    • Because it's easier to complain about a situation than actually talk about it. Your advice is spot on though.

  • Not enough sex/bad sex. Maybe he just finds you boring as of late? I think you need to brakeup if its like that, who wants a stale relationship?

  • buy the kamisutra read it. jump in his bed wif his dick out and f*** the life out him. hell be back for more every day

  • A healthy boy can have sex 6 to 7 times a day and has learned , not to ask it that often. (she's not always willing, there is not always a bed within reach, there is not always time), so he reverts to boyish practices and habits. Besides, pron can be fun and interesting, rather like looking at a Porsche sports car catalog when one drives a Mercury or Buick (I wouldn't compare you to a Chevy!) and when watching pron, that d***k grows really into his hand.

    Just tell him you masturbate every other day because you don't have sex enough. But do you dare to tell that? Probably not, because you're well educated...Your daddy wouldn't like to know his little daughter has ideas of that kind.;)

    • You are super creepy with that last part of your answer. Seriously sounds like a petafile, back it up buddy......

    • A parent, just a parent:D:D:D Most girls never get over that "what would daddy think about me"- idea

  • I really hope you left the relationship before you got it from someone else. There's never a good reason to cheat.

  • Have you talked to him about it?

  • we have fantasies. he wants to be a pornstar. walk into the room naked where he's at. he'll give it to you. if he don't then get you another man. most of us like sex. the normal ones anyway.

    • I actually ended up leaving the guy after our 1 1/2 year relationship. He wasn't right for me I figured out. :)

    • Sorry. it was better off. he probably wanted something else anyway. don't let this hurt you. remember if sex is what you want then it's easier for a woman to get a man than for a man to get a woman. he may have cheated on you since it was so readily available and he didn't take it from you. if he turned it down then he was getting it somewhere else. either the porn or another woman. no offense.

  • my point of view.i just think its a habit for men! a little quickie to relieve stress but at the same time a bad habit lol