Why do men go to prostitutes?

[Anonymous]

I know not all do but statistically one out of three does and I don't really get why? Why pay for it when you coud hook up or get a girlfriend? My friend is a social worker and she kinda became friends with one of her "clients" who used to be a prostitute. She said that a lot of men paid tons of money extra if she pretented to be their girlfriend. Like calling him honey/darling, ask how his day was, say I love or sleep next to her for a few hours. She said of course some were there Because they wanted to do stuff their wives didn't want to or other reasons but those faking girlfriend requests were the most common. I don't get it, why pay someone to fake it, when you can have the real thing at home?

[MrOracle]

It's clear from the fact that you're asking this question that you think that the vast majority of guys can get a girl as a girlfriend or at least for sex fairly easily. YOU'RE WRONG. In my experience, close to HALF of all guys really, really struggles with women even in ideal environments like college, where you live in a bubble and where you are literally surrounded by hundreds or thousands of single girls in your age group. Guys who have trouble getting girls in that environment (and there are a ton of them) are only going to do far worse when NOT in a college environment, when finding single women their age is FAR more difficult because they're mixed in the general population.

I would guess that most guys who visit prostitutes are older; late 20s and up at least. A few are hard-working guys who have very little time for a social life, and it's hard to meet a girl in the real world and build up the trust to have sex with her if you only can see her, say, one day every couple of weeks, because you're busy. A prostitute can give you company on YOUR schedule, without all the time to build up the relationship.

Then you have a group of guys who are married/have a long-term girlfriend, but who aren't satisfied sexually by that person. Maybe the wife/GF only wants sex once a month (or less). Maybe she will only do missionary with the lights out. Maybe he wants a BJ and she thinks that's disgusting. Whatever it is, those guys HAVE a girl, but aren't getting what they need from her, and usually only after asking, talking, pleading, etc. for a while, he ends up turning to a pro.

There's also a small percentage of guys who are just pu$$yhounds. They are always after a new girl, and it's all about getting laid and increasing their number of conquests.

The biggest majority of prostitute clients, though, are guys with ZERO GAME. These guys simply can't get girls. Many are just very shy, or socially awkward (or both), and others just lack confidence in themselves and always try too hard and creep girls out. Maybe they've never had a girlfriend, or haven't had one in years and years. They eventually get so lonely that they seek out a pro to give them an hour's worth of sex and companionship.

The truth is that nearly all of these guys would PREFER to have a girlfriend(/wife) who met their needs rather than going to a prostitute, but if that was easy for them to do, prostitution would have died out long ago. The fact that it still thrives tells you that, for a lot of guys, it isn't easy, and often feels impossible. Sure, many could focus on improving their self-confidence and get there on their own, but many would rather pay for it than do all the hard work and deal with all the rejection that happens when you are first learning to date.

[ketfoen]

I rarely read long answers, but I always read yours because they are always so insightful with so much wisdom. I tip my hat to you good sir.

[MikeK]

Just a wonderful answer Oracle... seriously almost brought me to tears. Women have absolutely NO appreciation for how difficult it is for us as men.

[Mártainn]

Amen.

[roland77]

Best answer given, it states all correct about us guys. :-)

[bDizzie]

I would never pay for a prostitute. What I have is no more or less valuable than what the woman has, so why should I pay?

That being said, it's not as easy for guys to hook up or get a girlfriend as it is for girls. And that's why girls don't go to prostitutes.

[roland77]

No, also women cheat in body (call boy/an affair) not just us.

[udolipixie]

Why do men go to prostitutes?

Likely the accessibility and control as in getting her to do whatever he wants.

Why pay for it when you coud hook up or get a girlfriend?

Probably because they couldn't hookup or get a girlfriend with a gal they want. Most guys in my opinion can hookup or get a girlfriend just often not with a gal that meets their criteria for youth and beauty so they go to prostitutes who do.

I don't get it, why pay someone to fake it, when you can have the real thing at home?

Possibly to most guys going to a prostitute is no different than a hook up or a girlfriend as:

- most regard gals as prostitutes shown by how they talk of how they have to pay for sex be it their money or time

- most don't care whether the prostitute or the hookup or girlfriend is faking it

- the sex they have with a prostitute and other gals is the same since to guy sex is just a way to bust a nut it's not intimacy, emotional, or bonding

[roland77]

This is completely wrong. Maybe there are a few out there, who sees a prostitute as a 3-holed sex object. But that is not the case for all. I don't regard my girlfriend as a prostitute-replacement, no never. Simply because I'm not after sex only but love with sex (for sure, no asexual here). Why we pay is also not because of we want control (maybe a few, but not all again, including myself) about a woman, maybe then we should ask our self why we became dominant (no chains/whips!) to our wife/girlfriend. But that is another but deeper-diving question. So why pay? Simply because you can. :-) For myself, I would see (I'm not saying that I visit them) a prostitute not as a prostitute but more as a sex-girlfriend who I surely would give pleasure (e. g. licking) back at any time given. To repeat it again: I'm not saying that I DO go to them. And we guys do care (maybe some cannot distinguish it) about faked orgasms or moans. I can hear it always out, if my wife was faking it or didn't make it with heart. And I spoke to her. And busting a nut is feministic BS, we DO care about intimacy and we DO care about emotional connections. So stop writing such utterly BS about us guys.

[desidoll]

Since prostitutes get paid for their service,they will do everything that the men want where it is something that their wive refuse to do.

[KingsOfleon88]

that's such a stupid reason to go to one imo (and I'm a dude saying this). I wouldn't be able to come home and look my girlfriend/wife in the eyes. If you love someone, why hurt them like that?

[desidoll]

When did I say its a good reason? Of course its a stupid reason but apparently every guys is different.Some have 'brain' while some don't.

[roland77]

Prostitutes have services they provide. E. g. if a guy wants anal sex which she doesn't provide, she can reject him. And a refusal of a wife/girlfriend is not a clear "no", it might mean "perhaps" or "I'm not sure (with him)".

[nermalinda]

Because they are really lonely and can't seem to get a real girlfriend.

[billmunch]

That's my case. It's embarrassing to admit but yes. Literally 100% of my sex comes from prostitutes.

[roland77]

@billmunch Maybe visit some (almost) free dating sites like OKC. I found my (now) girlfriend or later wife there.

[vernen88]

Welcome to the free market, that in which a person offers a service in exchange for monetary gain.

Why? No strings commitment, emotional or physical satisfaction, a piece of eye candy to exhibit on their arms, to attract the attention of other women; or most commonly, verbally contracted and guaranteed sex without judgement, emotional ties, excess effort, appealing to the needs, emotions and whims of others or concern for anything other than agreed exchange rate. The cold dollar.

I personally wouldn't use the services of an escort, but speaking to others who have, from a practical standpoint it makes a lot of sense.

[archer86]

Let's see if this works:

Young Lady, will you go on a date with me? (HELL NO!)

Will you have sex with me? (HARASSMENT!)

Will you marry me? (I DON'T WANT A MAN IN MY LIFE!)

Do you like me? (YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE!)

Why not? (NAME IT!)

After about a few thousand of those, men tend to get very upset with women and look for alternatives. The typical choices are the following in no given order:

1. Hire sex workers

2. Play more video games

3. Become gay/tranny

4. Trust Jesus

5. Masturbate forever

6. Just drop dead, what woman would want you anyway?

I am in college surrounded by roughly 10,000 young hotties. Believe me that NONE of them are interested in me, even if I were their age. So, you can't say men can just get a woman any time we want. Just plain torture. Technically, I can't even look at the older faculty/staff/professors out of fear for harassment. NO fun.

Hope this helps

[MikeK]

Another terrific answer! LADIES, read this and read it CLEAR!

[Distant]

People who go to prostitutes most often don't have anything at home.

[sa230e]

Most likely because they can't get hookups or girlfriends by any other means.

I read a really interesting book called "Brothel: Mustang Ranch and it's women" about pretty much exactly that. It's a pretty good case study of what you just described.

[ketfoen]

They call that the girlfriend experience. I think they pay for it, because they want all the positive and good feelings from that kind of experience with out the commitment from their part.

Getting into a relationship is that hard, but keeping it interesting and good does take a lot of commitment and work, some guys just don't want the hassle, because they are more committed to their work, but still want to feel loved and wanted sometimes.

[kheserthorpe]

I don't think anywhere near one in 3 do at this point. The numbers used to be closer to that 100 years ago, when casual sex (and even premarital sex) was much more rare.

Why pay someone to fake it? The most common reason would be that they can't, in fact, get a girlfriend who is pretty and nice and has sex when they want to.

There are other reasons people get prostitutes, but that's why guys would ask for that service.

What makes you think its easy for all men to get a girlfriend?

What makes you think all girlfriends have sex whenever someone wants?

[Asker]

getting a girlfriend is not easy, but getting a hook up is. I don't think they will or should have sex whenever he wants but most couples I know have sex every other day to once a day, you can't really complain about not enough sex there

[kheserthorpe]

Getting a girlfriend is easier then getting a hook up for most guys. The average long term couple has sex weekly. 1/10 to 1/5th of marriages are sexless. Guys who are single and hookup easily, and guys with girlfriends having sex every day, are not going to prostitutes for gfe. They are also a small minority of men.

[DanAG]

I don't believe the one out of 3 number either. Especially when it's worded one out of three "does" which implies they do it regularly. I don't believe nearly that many have ever gone to a prostitute even once. I'm always highly skeptical of polls. You can find a poll that says just about anything.

[Asker]

not sure where you guys are from, in my country it's legal so that may make a big difference in how many men actually go

[kheserthorpe]

I'm sure it does. Its probably legal here, but its in a grey zone. Legality has an impact, but culture plays a very large role. The fact is here there IS a stigma that prostitutes, whether or not you think its wrong, are also for 'losers'.

[DanAG]

That's a good point and it probably makes a difference. I'm in the US and to my knowledge there are no federal laws against it, but it's illegal in almost every state. Another thing to consider is that if it's legal, then there is probably more of a social acceptance in your culture. The combination of legality, social acceptance, and probably higher safety can all make a difference. I think going somewhere like Amsterdam would make it seem more "normal" with less social stigma attached to it.

[madhatters4]

Well really there are two questions here. One asking why men go to prostitutes in general and then one regarding why men in relationships go to prostitutes. I'll deal only with question abotu men in relationships.

I think there are various reasons and trying to put myself in the mindset of a "John" I'd say...

1) NSA. they can do whatever they want and don't have to worry about cuddling or feeling like the owe the person anything. Sex and that's it

2) Variety...Some people feel bored with the same thing over and over again. To use a not great analogy it's like how many girls love shoes, they may buy hordes of shoes even though they wear a select few. Why because they like the variety, the variance, etc

3) They can pick out a person who may be different in some way from their girlfriend. Whether it's big boobs, blond hair, etc it's kind of like shopping and a man can pick a woman who suits a particular desire at a particular time

4) Sexual need... Some guys want sex at a time or at a frequency their girlfriend can't provide. By going to a prostitute a guy can get what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants it

5) Anonymity... Perhaps the guy has specific sexual interests that he isn't comfortable exploring with his girlfriend and he can try this with a girl who is non-judgemental or at least the guy doesn't care if the escort judges him

6) Dissatisfaction... maybe the guy doesn't enjoy the sex or initmacy with his gf/wife but doesn't see it as reason enough to break it off with them

I'm sure there are plenty of other potential reasons a guy may have but those seem like a few right there

[Asker]

well the part I didn't get is why guys who have girlfriends go to prostitues and then pay them to act like their girlfriends

[madhatters4]

NSA, anonymity, sexual need, dissatisfaction, the ability to pick a girl who suits a sexual need at a certain time. I think my answers addressed what you asked about guys in relationships going to prostitutes for the girlfriend experience

[kambo_trick3y]

Cause prostitutes will always love you, even if you have a third arm growing from the side of your head.

I speak from experience.

[Asker]

but that's the point, they don't love you. Why is a lie so much better than getting a girl that actually does love you?

[kambo_trick3y]

I don't know, my third arm tells me to do it from time to time. It has mild control over my thoughts and actions.

[KingsOfleon88]

I don't know how any guy can believe a prostitute will always "love" you. They don't love the guy, they love his money. The guy is merely a means to an end. They guy has her body, not her heart.

[kambo_trick3y]

Wait, are people actually taking my answer seriously? People, I have the word "third arm growing from the side of my head" in my answer. That should be an indication not to take this seriously.

[Dionysos]

You don't pay for the sex. You pay for the ease and convenience of it, but most importantly for the ability to walkaway after it with no strings. Never done it myself, but it makes sense.

[KingsOfleon88]

I'd rather use my hand to be honest. I think paying a woman for her to sleep with you or pretend she's your girlfriend is degrading.

[Asker]

I agree it's pathetic really

[archer86]

Calling a woman a bitch just for the sake of it is degrading. Making a woman do things she isn't willing to do is degrading. Telling women to go back to the kitchen and the bedroom where they belong, is degrading. Lovemaking with a willing woman, even for pay, is NOT degrading.

[billmunch]

Several reasons but the two main ones are that it's the only way I can get laid. And it's also a festish.

[CasaNorba]

though I never been with one before but from my point of view with a prostitute you are really getting sex with no attachments or commitments. I mean lets face it, women don't give it up that easy which answers your question on...

"Why pay for it when you coud hook up or get a girlfriend?"

and about the girlfriend part; not all of us men want serious relationships. but going back to choosing a hooker over an actual chick, hookers are somewhat better because like you said, they are willing to do things with us that our wives won't do just as long as you give her what she wants. and lets not forget, with an actual chick you are still paying no matter what because for an actual chick to give it up you must take her out on dates, buy her drinks, gives etc which in the end if you add it up it probably cost a lot more then what hookers charge.

the only major flaw I see with hookers is that their chances of carrying stds are a lot higher

[bubbletrouble]

They can't get laid while a hooker makes that easier

[UncleJessieRabbit]

Because some of life/people and dating generally sucks. I think as for an option, prostitution is empty on the spiritual side, but it's seemingly the only option those guys have at all. I don't think statistics are also the only end-all, but I do think they paint a more-or-less accurate general picture of things. And even I had thought about seeing one before.

[scottb80]

I imagine guys hire prostitutes because it is an easy way to get sex with no strings attached. He pays the money, she does whatever was agreed upon, and afterward they never have to see each other again.Except for the exchange of money, It's sort of like hooking up with someone at a bar for a one night stand.

I've personally never done it because it is illegal in my area and I wouldn't trust that the girls are disease/drug free. If it were legal and regulated I wouldn't say I'd never try it.

[atsizat]

I can't have a girlfriend and I need sex!

[sektenkult]

I have heard more girls saying that it's unnormal if a guy doesn't visit a prostitute or never had visited one than girls which are proud that a guy never stayed at a prostitute.
And i asked a lot of girls

[Anonymous]

Either pay a prostitute for sex or waste money on a girlfriend for 6 months and then have sex.

[Anonymous]

becuase women refuse to give us ugly pieces of sh** chances

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing perversion

[Anonymous]

It os OK for you to ask why men pay for sex. but your stupid assumption" why pay someone to fake it, when you can have the real thing at home?" really makes you look ignorant. that shows how completely out of touch you are. just ask the question without making stupid assumptions

[Anonymous]

Perversion

[Anonymous]

when was the last time you struggled and went without getting laid for say weeks or months?

do you have ta lot of testosterone ? ( the hormone that makes you want to have sex).

you probably live in a bubble you think life is as easy for everyone as it is for you

what if you are not good looking or articulate enough, to treat women or talk? what if you rather spend your time on anything else, if you want something and there is a convenient way of getting it why not use it.

[Anonymous]

Imagine if the opposite sex never approached you, and you always had to make the first move, and most of the time you got rejected, and you had to at least offer to pay for dates. That's what most men go through!

Most guys probably would prefer a fairly decent-looking girlfriend with a fairly decent personality to a prostitute.

In the case of a one-night stand, a guy could easily spend more on drinks or whatever for her (with no guarantee of sex) than a prostitute would cost.

Also: 1. The idea of having sex with many different women is a turn-on for many men, maybe because as often said, guys are more visual than girls. 2. Going to a prostitute is more honest really than hitting on a potential hook-up. 3. Few women seem to be interested in casual sex. 4. If you're old, you're not going to get a hot young woman, unless she's a gold-digger or a prostitute. 5. Some guys go to prostitutes, because they have uncommon desires, e.g. fetishes.

[Anonymous]

Girls don't give average guys a chance

[Anonymous]

guys go because girls will do the stuff they want without the guy having to put in weeks/months of time & money. some guys flat out don't have time to deal with an actual realationship or the drama they bring.

can you guarantee that I can have it at home? can you guarantee a hook up?

whats the difference if I have to buy a girl drinks food and entertain her vs just giving a girl cash for sex...then she can use the money for what she actually needs.

[MikeK]

Exactly. There's hardly any difference.

[Anonymous]

A few reasons:

- It's just sex and sex only. No strings attached, so no need to worry about the prostitute becoming attached.

- Prostitutes are more than happy to fulfill a guy's wishes (whatever it is) seeing as they are being paid for their services.

- Getting a girlfriend/hook up is not easy for all men so if they can't get a girlfriend or a hook up they can't get sex.

- Guys who do have girlfriends may find that they want sex frequently which may result in their girlfriends not being able to keep up with them and disappointing them.

- Many guys like variety so even if they do have a girlfriend or are hooking up with someone they may want to try new things with other women.

[Anonymous]

It is easy, no strings attached and they will provide services that some women refuse to.

[Anonymous]

They are desperate for sex, and have the money.

[Anonymous]

"Why pay for it when you could hook up or get a girlfriend"?

Its not always that easy. At least not for all us guys.

Plus its the oldest profession in the world.

[Anonymous]

Because they are easy and none judgmental. You ask them to do pretty much anything that doesn't involve her risking getting hurt and she will comply. Something like Anal sex that some would consider off limit. The prostitute would charge you a sum of money and let's go. Even for the girlfriend thing, your wife might not have the looks a GREEK Goddess anymore the prostitute on the other hand her JOB depends on how great she looks (Looks = MONEY). If you have the money it's easy to go somewhere public and project the image that the girl (10/10 = Greek Goddess) besides you is you Girlfriend and when people approach and talk to you about how you got her, well you can tell them pretty much anything an they will believe you, because you have the girlfriend to prove it. If they don't well...you can go to her, kiss her and grab a butt cheek. Very persuasive when you think that most girls normally would beat the living crap out of you for even thinking about pulling something like that in front of them. Once your day is over. You can sex her. In the morning, It's like you two never met. No drama, no I want a more serious relationship, where is this going, I want more...none of it. It's like all of the benefices without the inconveniences for a price.

I've paid for the services of one, only for sex though not the GFE/ girlfriend experience (major stacks of money needed). I'd do it again any day. Once you've shaken the fear of contacting a "prostitute" you're in for a lot of FUN.

Hookups and a girlfriend Are very costly in Time, also these girls who are in it for a relationship. Sometimes things get complicated. Not with the prostitute, because when you've agreed on something with her, that's exactly what you get.

It's a world you might not understand...you've never seen it or experienced it.

The prostitutes are still human, you treat them like equals they might even give you discounts for being a "REGULAR". Also If you the client are good looking, you also get discounts with some.

[Asker]

but I saw her and pictures of her friends and she even says herself most prostitutes are not above average looking and they still charge high prices. There may be others but she wasn't seen in public with clients just in private. I don't really get what you mean, very few girlfriends would complain about being kissed

[Opinion Owner]

A compliment the prostitute gave me, Genuine or not was "I'm feeling ticklish, get on the bed." I was amazed how much she could wind, shake and roll (she would cease control) in a session. If she was faking all that, God I loved her faking, it felt great...

[Opinion Owner]

There are different levels of prostitutes you know. Those who aren't very good looking are low class (they charge decent money). The high class ones are dead gorgeous ( You pay for those looks). Also the kissing isn't much of what It's about when hiring a prostitute for GFE, It's all about power and the commodities you can buy with it. What more intimidating scene when you're at a business meeting with other workers and they brought their wifes (average look) and the bachelor has a MODEL.

[Asker]

I meant, because you said ".you can go to her, kiss her and grab a butt cheek. Very persuasive when you think that most girls normally would beat the living crap out of you for even thinking about pulling something like that " no they wouldnt

[Opinion Owner]

If the girl I'm dating is butt Ugly/FAT I'd feel ashamed of pulling something like that in public. If she is a model, PDA, Making out etc... I would consider all that with her. I needed a context where to show the influence of power. I've never paid for GFE. But If I would consider doing it, It would be to intimidate a coworker.

[Asker]

ok well now that was nice

[Opinion Owner]

Why do you think guys want girls who look good. When you're married and cannot play the field anymore. You better have a trophy wife at your side, because competition among guys is still going on. Dude how is it going between you and your wife? she's mad at me for some unknown reason (she doesn't give sex anymore / Blue balls). Or Erectile dysfunction (you don't find your wife attractive anymore).

[Opinion Owner]

I've done some research on the topic of prostitution. Was thinking of going social worker too but I haven't decided yet. These girls get addicted to so many stuff it's almost impossible to get them out of it. Prostitution is the ultimate power trip for women, Fast Life lane. They get to ride inside million dollar cars, sleep with millionaires, live the life of rich and famous, 700$ dress (provided by client), private PARTIES. Then they go back to their apartment, pay rent...it's all over.

[Asker]

I think you have a bit wrong idea of prostitution. This may apply to less than one percent of prostitues. Most don't make more than an average job would. And not all were drug addicts when they started. Like my friends friends did it so she could take care of her kid. The dad left, paid no child support and her old job didn't pay enough so she worked as hooker part time to get extra cash

[Asker]

She became addicted to drugs later because it's easy to take. maybe men are different and there certainley exeptions but prostitution is hell for most women. She said most girls started taking drugs after a few months because they couldn't handle it anymore and needed to escape reality for a while

[Opinion Owner]

I know It's not the majority that get at that level of luxury, and selling sex is the last resort for some of these women.

[Opinion Owner]

Why do men go to prostitutes? Because Prostitutes provide SEX. Simple. The price of sex is quantifiable/measurable. As for hookups and girlfriends they will never compare to them because they will always want more. Hookups and girlfriends negotiate the price but never establish the exact amount, and also she can choose to run away with the amount you just provided and say I'm not a whore you need to pay more. As for a prostitute I can call her pimp or agency to deal with her.

[Anonymous]

Why do prostitutes offer services to men?

[Opinion Owner]

and no I would never go to a prostitute

[Asker]

cuz men will go to them and it's a way of making money. Male prostitutes have a much harder time

[Opinion Owner]

What a sad life choice that is. From both sides

[Anonymous]

Because they CAN'T have the real thing at home.

There are lots of guys who can't get girlfriends, but want girlfriends.

Prostitutes who offer the GFE (girlfriend experience) are one way those guys can get what they want.