Why do men go to prostitutes?

[Anonymous]

I know not all do but statistically one out of three does and I don't really get why? Why pay for it when you coud hook up or get a girlfriend? My friend is a social worker and she kinda became friends with one of her "clients" who used to be a prostitute. She said that a lot of men paid tons of money extra if she pretented to be their girlfriend. Like calling him honey/darling, ask how his day was, say I love or sleep next to her for a few hours. She said of course some were there Because they wanted to do stuff their wives didn't want to or other reasons but those faking girlfriend requests were the most common. I don't get it, why pay someone to fake it, when you can have the real thing at home?

[MrOracle]

It's clear from the fact that you're asking this question that you think that the vast majority of guys can get a girl as a girlfriend or at least for sex fairly easily. YOU'RE WRONG. In my experience, close to HALF of all guys really, really struggles with women even in ideal environments like college, where you live in a bubble and where you are literally surrounded by hundreds or thousands of single girls in your age group. Guys who have trouble getting girls in that environment (and there are a ton of them) are only going to do far worse when NOT in a college environment, when finding single women their age is FAR more difficult because they're mixed in the general population.

I would guess that most guys who visit prostitutes are older; late 20s and up at least. A few are hard-working guys who have very little time for a social life, and it's hard to meet a girl in the real world and build up the trust to have sex with her if you only can see her, say, one day every couple of weeks, because you're busy. A prostitute can give you company on YOUR schedule, without all the time to build up the relationship.

Then you have a group of guys who are married/have a long-term girlfriend, but who aren't satisfied sexually by that person. Maybe the wife/GF only wants sex once a month (or less). Maybe she will only do missionary with the lights out. Maybe he wants a BJ and she thinks that's disgusting. Whatever it is, those guys HAVE a girl, but aren't getting what they need from her, and usually only after asking, talking, pleading, etc. for a while, he ends up turning to a pro.

There's also a small percentage of guys who are just pu$$yhounds. They are always after a new girl, and it's all about getting laid and increasing their number of conquests.

The biggest majority of prostitute clients, though, are guys with ZERO GAME. These guys simply can't get girls. Many are just very shy, or socially awkward (or both), and others just lack confidence in themselves and always try too hard and creep girls out. Maybe they've never had a girlfriend, or haven't had one in years and years. They eventually get so lonely that they seek out a pro to give them an hour's worth of sex and companionship.

The truth is that nearly all of these guys would PREFER to have a girlfriend(/wife) who met their needs rather than going to a prostitute, but if that was easy for them to do, prostitution would have died out long ago. The fact that it still thrives tells you that, for a lot of guys, it isn't easy, and often feels impossible. Sure, many could focus on improving their self-confidence and get there on their own, but many would rather pay for it than do all the hard work and deal with all the rejection that happens when you are first learning to date.

[ketfoen]

I rarely read long answers, but I always read yours because they are always so insightful with so much wisdom. I tip my hat to you good sir.

[MikeK]

Just a wonderful answer Oracle... seriously almost brought me to tears. Women have absolutely NO appreciation for how difficult it is for us as men.

[Mártainn]

Amen.

[roland77]

Best answer given, it states all correct about us guys. :-)

[bDizzie]

I would never pay for a prostitute. What I have is no more or less valuable than what the woman has, so why should I pay?

That being said, it's not as easy for guys to hook up or get a girlfriend as it is for girls. And that's why girls don't go to prostitutes.

[roland77]

No, also women cheat in body (call boy/an affair) not just us.

[udolipixie]

Why do men go to prostitutes?

Likely the accessibility and control as in getting her to do whatever he wants.

Why pay for it when you coud hook up or get a girlfriend?

Probably because they couldn't hookup or get a girlfriend with a gal they want. Most guys in my opinion can hookup or get a girlfriend just often not with a gal that meets their criteria for youth and beauty so they go to prostitutes who do.

I don't get it, why pay someone to fake it, when you can have the real thing at home?

Possibly to most guys going to a prostitute is no different than a hook up or a girlfriend as:

- most regard gals as prostitutes shown by how they talk of how they have to pay for sex be it their money or time

- most don't care whether the prostitute or the hookup or girlfriend is faking it

- the sex they have with a prostitute and other gals is the same since to guy sex is just a way to bust a nut it's not intimacy, emotional, or bonding

[roland77]

This is completely wrong. Maybe there are a few out there, who sees a prostitute as a 3-holed sex object. But that is not the case for all. I don't regard my girlfriend as a prostitute-replacement, no never. Simply because I'm not after sex only but love with sex (for sure, no asexual here). Why we pay is also not because of we want control (maybe a few, but not all again, including myself) about a woman, maybe then we should ask our self why we became dominant (no chains/whips!) to our wife/girlfriend. But that is another but deeper-diving question. So why pay? Simply because you can. :-) For myself, I would see (I'm not saying that I visit them) a prostitute not as a prostitute but more as a sex-girlfriend who I surely would give pleasure (e. g. licking) back at any time given. To repeat it again: I'm not saying that I DO go to them. And we guys do care (maybe some cannot distinguish it) about faked orgasms or moans. I can hear it always out, if my wife was faking it or didn't make it with heart. And I spoke to her. And busting a nut is feministic BS, we DO care about intimacy and we DO care about emotional connections. So stop writing such utterly BS about us guys.

[desidoll]

Since prostitutes get paid for their service,they will do everything that the men want where it is something that their wive refuse to do.

[KingsOfleon88]

that's such a stupid reason to go to one imo (and I'm a dude saying this). I wouldn't be able to come home and look my girlfriend/wife in the eyes. If you love someone, why hurt them like that?

[desidoll]

When did I say its a good reason? Of course its a stupid reason but apparently every guys is different.Some have 'brain' while some don't.

[roland77]

Prostitutes have services they provide. E. g. if a guy wants anal sex which she doesn't provide, she can reject him. And a refusal of a wife/girlfriend is not a clear "no", it might mean "perhaps" or "I'm not sure (with him)".

[nermalinda]

Because they are really lonely and can't seem to get a real girlfriend.

[billmunch]

That's my case. It's embarrassing to admit but yes. Literally 100% of my sex comes from prostitutes.

[roland77]

@billmunch Maybe visit some (almost) free dating sites like OKC. I found my (now) girlfriend or later wife there.

[vernen88]

Welcome to the free market, that in which a person offers a service in exchange for monetary gain.

Why? No strings commitment, emotional or physical satisfaction, a piece of eye candy to exhibit on their arms, to attract the attention of other women; or most commonly, verbally contracted and guaranteed sex without judgement, emotional ties, excess effort, appealing to the needs, emotions and whims of others or concern for anything other than agreed exchange rate. The cold dollar.

I personally wouldn't use the services of an escort, but speaking to others who have, from a practical standpoint it makes a lot of sense.

[archer86]

Let's see if this works:

Young Lady, will you go on a date with me? (HELL NO!)

Will you have sex with me? (HARASSMENT!)

Will you marry me? (I DON'T WANT A MAN IN MY LIFE!)

Do you like me? (YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE!)

Why not? (NAME IT!)

After about a few thousand of those, men tend to get very upset with women and look for alternatives. The typical choices are the following in no given order:

1. Hire sex workers

2. Play more video games

3. Become gay/tranny

4. Trust Jesus

5. Masturbate forever

6. Just drop dead, what woman would want you anyway?

I am in college surrounded by roughly 10,000 young hotties. Believe me that NONE of them are interested in me, even if I were their age. So, you can't say men can just get a woman any time we want. Just plain torture. Technically, I can't even look at the older faculty/staff/professors out of fear for harassment. NO fun.

Hope this helps

[MikeK]

Another terrific answer! LADIES, read this and read it CLEAR!

[Distant]

People who go to prostitutes most often don't have anything at home.

[sa230e]

Most likely because they can't get hookups or girlfriends by any other means.

I read a really interesting book called "Brothel: Mustang Ranch and it's women" about pretty much exactly that. It's a pretty good case study of what you just described.

[ketfoen]

They call that the girlfriend experience. I think they pay for it, because they want all the positive and good feelings from that kind of experience with out the commitment from their part.

Getting into a relationship is that hard, but keeping it interesting and good does take a lot of commitment and work, some guys just don't want the hassle, because they are more committed to their work, but still want to feel loved and wanted sometimes.

[kheserthorpe]

I don't think anywhere near one in 3 do at this point. The numbers used to be closer to that 100 years ago, when casual sex (and even premarital sex) was much more rare.

Why pay someone to fake it? The most common reason would be that they can't, in fact, get a girlfriend who is pretty and nice and has sex when they want to.

There are other reasons people get prostitutes, but that's why guys would ask for that service.

What makes you think its easy for all men to get a girlfriend?

What makes you think all girlfriends have sex whenever someone wants?

[Asker]

getting a girlfriend is not easy, but getting a hook up is. I don't think they will or should have sex whenever he wants but most couples I know have sex every other day to once a day, you can't really complain about not enough sex there

[kheserthorpe]

Getting a girlfriend is easier then getting a hook up for most guys. The average long term couple has sex weekly. 1/10 to 1/5th of marriages are sexless. Guys who are single and hookup easily, and guys with girlfriends having sex every day, are not going to prostitutes for gfe. They are also a small minority of men.

[DanAG]

I don't believe the one out of 3 number either. Especially when it's worded one out of three "does" which implies they do it regularly. I don't believe nearly that many have ever gone to a prostitute even once. I'm always highly skeptical of polls. You can find a poll that says just about anything.

[Asker]

not sure where you guys are from, in my country it's legal so that may make a big difference in how many men actually go

[kheserthorpe]

I'm sure it does. Its probably legal here, but its in a grey zone. Legality has an impact, but culture plays a very large role. The fact is here there IS a stigma that prostitutes, whether or not you think its wrong, are also for 'losers'.

[DanAG]

That's a good point and it probably makes a difference. I'm in the US and to my knowledge there are no federal laws against it, but it's illegal in almost every state. Another thing to consider is that if it's legal, then there is probably more of a social acceptance in your culture. The combination of legality, social acceptance, and probably higher safety can all make a difference. I think going somewhere like Amsterdam would make it seem more "normal" with less social stigma attached to it.

[madhatters4]

Well really there are two questions here. One asking why men go to prostitutes in general and then one regarding why men in relationships go to prostitutes. I'll deal only with question abotu men in relationships.

I think there are various reasons and trying to put myself in the mindset of a "John" I'd say...

1) NSA. they can do whatever they want and don't have to worry about cuddling or feeling like the owe the person anything. Sex and that's it

2) Variety...Some people feel bored with the same thing over and over again. To use a not great analogy it's like how many girls love shoes, they may buy hordes of shoes even though they wear a select few. Why because they like the variety, the variance, etc

3) They can pick out a person who may be different in some way from their girlfriend. Whether it's big boobs, blond hair, etc it's kind of like shopping and a man can pick a woman who suits a particular desire at a particular time

4) Sexual need... Some guys want sex at a time or at a frequency their girlfriend can't provide. By going to a prostitute a guy can get what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants it

5) Anonymity... Perhaps the guy has specific sexual interests that he isn't comfortable exploring with his girlfriend and he can try this with a girl who is non-judgemental or at least the guy doesn't care if the escort judges him

6) Dissatisfaction... maybe the guy doesn't enjoy the sex or initmacy with his gf/wife but doesn't see it as reason enough to break it off with them

I'm sure there are plenty of other potential reasons a guy may have but those seem like a few right there

[Asker]

well the part I didn't get is why guys who have girlfriends go to prostitues and then pay them to act like their girlfriends

[madhatters4]

NSA, anonymity, sexual need, dissatisfaction, the ability to pick a girl who suits a sexual need at a certain time. I think my answers addressed what you asked about guys in relationships going to prostitutes for the girlfriend experience

[kambo_trick3y]

Cause prostitutes will always love you, even if you have a third arm growing from the side of your head.

I speak from experience.

[Asker]

but that's the point, they don't love you. Why is a lie so much better than getting a girl that actually does love you?

[kambo_trick3y]

I don't know, my third arm tells me to do it from time to time. It has mild control over my thoughts and actions.

[KingsOfleon88]

I don't know how any guy can believe a prostitute will always "love" you. They don't love the guy, they love his money. The guy is merely a means to an end. They guy has her body, not her heart.

[kambo_trick3y]

Wait, are people actually taking my answer seriously? People, I have the word "third arm growing from the side of my head" in my answer. That should be an indication not to take this seriously.

[Dionysos]

You don't pay for the sex. You pay for the ease and convenience of it, but most importantly for the ability to walkaway after it with no strings. Never done it myself, but it makes sense.

[KingsOfleon88]

I'd rather use my hand to be honest. I think paying a woman for her to sleep with you or pretend she's your girlfriend is degrading.

[Asker]

I agree it's pathetic really

[archer86]

Calling a woman a bitch just for the sake of it is degrading. Making a woman do things she isn't willing to do is degrading. Telling women to go back to the kitchen and the bedroom where they belong, is degrading. Lovemaking with a willing woman, even for pay, is NOT degrading.

[billmunch]

Several reasons but the two main ones are that it's the only way I can get laid. And it's also a festish.

[CasaNorba]

though I never been with one before but from my point of view with a prostitute you are really getting sex with no attachments or commitments. I mean lets face it, women don't give it up that easy which answers your question on...

"Why pay for it when you coud hook up or get a girlfriend?"

and about the girlfriend part; not all of us men want serious relationships. but going back to choosing a hooker over an actual chick, hookers are somewhat better because like you said, they are willing to do things with us that our wives won't do just as long as you give her what she wants. and lets not forget, with an actual chick you are still paying no matter what because for an actual chick to give it up you must take her out on dates, buy her drinks, gives etc which in the end if you add it up it probably cost a lot more then what hookers charge.

the only major flaw I see with hookers is that their chances of carrying stds are a lot higher

[bubbletrouble]

They can't get laid while a hooker makes that easier

[UncleJessieRabbit]

Because some of life/people and dating generally sucks. I think as for an option, prostitution is empty on the spiritual side, but it's seemingly the only option those guys have at all. I don't think statistics are also the only end-all, but I do think they paint a more-or-less accurate general picture of things. And even I had thought about seeing one before.

[scottb80]

I imagine guys hire prostitutes because it is an easy way to get sex with no strings attached. He pays the money, she does whatever was agreed upon, and afterward they never have to see each other again.Except for the exchange of money, It's sort of like hooking up with someone at a bar for a one night stand.

I've personally never done it because it is illegal in my area and I wouldn't trust that the girls are disease/drug free. If it were legal and regulated I wouldn't say I'd never try it.

[atsizat]

I can't have a girlfriend and I need sex!

[sektenkult]

I have heard more girls saying that it's unnormal if a guy doesn't visit a prostitute or never had visited one than girls which are proud that a guy never stayed at a prostitute.
And i asked a lot of girls

[Anonymous]

Either pay a prostitute for sex or waste money on a girlfriend for 6 months and then have sex.

[Anonymous]

becuase women refuse to give us ugly pieces of sh** chances

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing perversion