Why do men leave you when you are pregnant?

Please Help! I've been with him two years, we had so much ups and downs. Now I am pregnant. He has been abusive from the beginning and I stayed with him. I made all excuses for him. every time we had an argument he would leave and I would be the one begging and pleading with him to come home. This last argument I ended up fighting back when he was pushing and slapping me. Now he says he is the victim.. I begged and apologized and he didn't accept my apology. He didn't ask how me and the baby are doing? He won't answer my call or text. He said he has nothing to do with me and the baby and he wants me to leave him alone. He is blaming me for everything. It hurts so much now that I'm pregnant. He said he wouldn't leave me or didn't want me to do this alone. What am I suppose to do? It hurts. Will he come back?
Updates:
+1 y
Do you think he has someone else already? When I was apologizing why didn't he accept my apology? He didn't want to look at me in the eye, why? When I tried to hug him he didn't want to hug me back?
+1 y
Another question, all his clothes and everythng is still at my house. And the last conversation we had he said He loves me and it was a force decision because of I called the cops about the abuse and he is telling me take counseling or get on some kind of pills.
+1 y
He had the nerve to say the baby isn't his and he has nothing to do with me or the baby...wtf?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't know if your story is true or not, though I do know these things happen. You should have left the first day he was abusive. So many reasons why that is, one of which is that a dirty lawyer could use that against you in court that you tolerated the abuse, that it wasn't that bad. What this means for you in the future that you will have a hard time prosecuting him for the things he's done to you in the past, if you ever decide to. Also, always report abuse (punching, slapping, throwing things) the day it happens. Take photos and write down what was said and notify the police immediately so they at least have it on record. You need not file a complaint, just notification of the incident. This will protect you from the day, if it ever comes, where HE reports you for some kind of abuse.

    • I have done all of that already. I have both medical and police reports for all the abuse.

    • Leave him before things get worse. If you feel threaten, tell the police. Also, file for child custody. If you don't know where to go about that ask the police. Do this for your child. Don't be in an abusive relationship as your baby will distress seen you get abused by its father.

    • He has left me and it has been two weeks. I've done all of that already

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  • All men don't leave you when you're pregnant, d***heads like this guy you're dating do. Honestly, you should have expected it given the way he's apparently treated you in the past, and you should have left this bastard ages ago. That doesn't really make it your fault but you can't expect him to change his attitude any time soon.

  • You're not supposed to put up with that behavior . Consider going for counselling, you'll need it so that you have the right mindset to look after your baby. If he comes back he definitely needs counselling. If both of you don't change your behavior , you're setting your baby up for failure.

    • Im going through counseling at this point to help myself/ thank you

    • Can your parents help you raise your baby?

    • I have good family support right now.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Why would you want that a**hole back? Why would you have stayed with him and gotten pregnant with such a jerk in the first place? People like him shouldn't be parents anyway. My suggestion is to learn from this, find better men and don't enable someone like him to screw with your and your kids' lives like that anymore. I hope you and your kids end up OK. Good luck with everything.

    • Thank you. I was hoping that he would realize I was a good woman to him and I was true to him. At the same time was trying to help him out with everything.

    • Forget about him. He's an awful person and, sorry, but you shouldn't have enabled his behavior in the first place. Your story is an all too common one and it's because women choose men like this a**hole and then make excuses for their behavior and beg them to come back when they hit them. It's not good for you. It's not good for him. And it's DEFINITELY not good for your children. Get a judge to grant you child support and find a real man who will be good for you and a father for your kids.

  • I'm sorry, but are you really that stupid ? you shouldn't put up with a guy like that, for gods sake if he has hit you he will do it again, and would put you and the baby at risk, don't beg him for anything and just forget him, you deserve better.

    Also since he's the dad go file for child support, it's his kid and he needs to man up and help with the baby.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • How long are you pregnant?

    • I;m 13 weeks

    • I hope you aren't considering keeping a baby.

  • Because he doesn't want to take care of the kid, because he doesn't want to settle down and he still wants to be free and look around. Sorry but it is true. I hope the best for you, finding a better man.

    • I hope I do but nothing anytime soon.

  • He's not a victim, but a first-class dumb*ss all the way. And honestly, he should have his teeth kicked down his throat. Trust me, it's for the best that he did leave you. You're better off than you think without him being a part of you're life. Hopefully you'll find someone better.

  • He's a scumbag

  • You had enough clues that he was an a**hole, and you still got pregnant by him.

    That's your fault. Get an abortion, and never see him again.

    • Im against abortion.

    • You're obviously against common sense too, or you wouldn't have been going back to this loser and sleeping with him. Against it or not, it's your best option. And you'll be pissing your life away in a stupid cause if you don't get one.

  • It's cause you shouldn't have stayed in an abusive relationship in the first place. I know you love him but if someone is not happy in a relationship, it's better to let them leave. He didn't leave you because you're pregnant, because he had done it before, he left you because he doesn't love you. I don't know what is going to happen now with you and the baby.

    • I shouldve listen to his ex because he did the same thing to her. He has a son in his previous relationship. I'm trying to be strong for me and my baby. I keep telling myself Ill be okay and this is something that Id ont want my baby to go through as well.

    • @update: Don't listen to him, you can't get on any pills because you're pregnant, unless your gynecologist recommends it. About the clothes, if he doesn't pick it up in a week, I would throw it away or donate it to charity.

  • Classic abusive a**hole.

    I hate to say it but at this point the only link you may have through him at this point is in the courts getting child support from him. He was an abuser and not that you;re pregnant he sees you as a burden that he's too cowardly to take on so he used your fighting back as an excuse to leave and escape his responsibility.

    • I'm coming to realize that at this point. Thak you

    • Considering what kind of dirt bag this guy is he probably had two others on the side besides you. He's not going to acknowledge you. He has no reason to as an abuser he never really loved you to begin with. Get abuse counseling, consider aborting (unless it's against your religion), and get your life fixed before you end up in another similar sh*tty situation.

    • Im going through an emotional rollercoaster rite now. It is against my religion to abort and that is the last thing on my mind. I'm trying to get this one day at a time. It's just so hard knowing that I am pregnant and all the promises he made that he wouldn't leave me.

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