Sexual Health
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Why does my boyfriend want to wear handcuffs all the time?

Not (just) in bed. When we're together at home, esp. on weekends, he keeps asking me to put handcuffs on him. So I "have him under control" or he can "calm down" (that's what he says). Most of the times it's not even getting sexual (though that's what the handcuffs were meant for in the first place...) All he reliably gets out of that is to be bossed around by me ;) So what is it that makes him want to be in restraint?
1 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • He is submissive as some have pointed out, the handcuffs are simply his preferred method of control.

    Be dominant with him, give him instructions and reward him for obedience, and punish him for insubordination. Talk to him about what he wants and what you want and the two of you can go from there. Beyond that it comes down to individual circumstances and it varies from couple to couple. What activities does he like? What activities do you like? How far are you willing to go? How far is he willing to go? What style of D/s suits you? How seriously do you and he take it? The questions go on.

    I would be happy to help you develop and hone your dominant side if you'd like, noidfome can back up my claim here, I am experienced in D/s and I do know what I'm talking about, send me a message.

  • Its called immaturity, he likess being controlled, because he doesn't have any, it makes he feel secure, so watch out for future progression with this one, he's going to have weirder needs than expected.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I share some of your BFs tendancies. I have spent long periods in leg irons and handcuffs, different kinds of gags and other predicaments.

    There is a thrill to being restrained that's like that first hill up a roller coaster. When that first click of a handcuff or that paddlock shuts, you loose control and the adrenaline takes over. The struggle against them, testing their limits and resigning yourself to those limitations is an indescribable sensation. Add a blindfold and the experience is multiplied.

    Just describing it leaves me short of breath and anxious. I don't know why, or how it became part of me, but it is one of the most enjoyable parts of life and something I don't want to do without.

    If you aren't willing to do that for him, he will never really be happy.

  • It sounds like your boyfriend is a natural submissive. He relies on the feeling of handcuffs to remind him of what he thinks is his place-subordinate to you. This isn't a bad, terrible thing-he just wants to worship you as the queen you are (in his eyes) and let you be in charge of his actions. I would either let him wear the cuffs when he wants or become more dominant around him. Ask him what he needs you to do. It's the simple things like saying "comehere and cuddle" that will make him the most happy. Do a little research. If you don't he may go to other places to lose control of himself, to please others.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 4

  • He is submissive.

  • Sounds like he's gone from a fetish to a full blown problem

  • that's kinky.

  • aww m boys are so adorable

    • "m boys"?

    • m is for masochist

  • Your boyfriend is submissive. This is the reason why he loves handcuffs all the time. I am dominant, I do not like that. We are all different, if you don't mind that his behavior then it's all fine.

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