Why doesn't she like foreplay?

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about two years now. She's never been the extremely physical type, and I can understand that to an extent. One thing is she's never been into foreplay. I always have to get both her and I going before we get into it. Recently I feel like there's a lot of pressure on me and I haven't been able to perform as well as usual. I've communicated this to her but she doesn't seem to care very much about my need for interaction before we have sex. My question is, why might a girl 'not' like foreplay? Is there some way I can subtly help her get into it?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • maybe she is self conscious

    You may be thinking "obviously not, we have sex don't we?"

    But there is a bit more vulnerability when performing/ receiving oral or any other kind of foreplay.

    have you tried simply asking "Why don't you like foreplay?"..don't let her shrug it off. continue with

    "I really love you, and I just want to understand, and I think that you should respect me enough to give me a straight forward answer"

    • She finally let me go down on her not that long ago. She tasted so good... But she said she didn't like it but wouldn't say if maybe it was how I was doing it... She's also the kind of girl to think it annoying and corny if I tell her I love her frequently. So I'm not sure if adding that in would help, but I'll take your suggestions under advisement. I'm willing to try pretty much anything at this point.

  • The only thing I can think of why a girl would not like foreplay is coming from another source. Had she ever been molested... as a child? More women than you may realize suffer sexually due to it. It really makes me feel that this may have a part of it too because she is not very physical. Might wanna gently talk to her about that. Hope this helps. Love & Peace!

  • thats different usually girls like foreplay I love it!

    • See, I love foreplay. I'd almost prefer foreplay to actual intercourse... But just haven't been able to get her into it. I don't think it's fair to have to carry the burden or getting us both hyped up. I'd absolutely love it if I could get her hype while she got me hyped. I think that would be very powerful for our sex life. I just don't know how to get her to try. She changes the topic if I ask her about it, and just shrugs it off otherwise. :-(

Most Helpful Guy

  • "I've communicated this to her but she doesn't seem to care very much about my need for interaction before we have sex."

    Wow. Big red flag.

    I would come back with something like: "This is really affecting our relationship and how I feel about it, so I was really hoping we could work this it."

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