Why are men territorial over their woman?

I've noticed that men are usually very territorial over their women, and I'm just curious about why. It's not a bad thing. I like it when a man feels that way about me, but I'm just wondering.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I know from my personal experience that I am very territorial, this can be mistaken for possessive, and insecure but let's be real. Most of the times I had been labeled possessive I made suggestions to the woman I had been with to modify their actions toward another male because the male was getting the wrong idea. As it became clearer, I had been too busy working night shift to keep the necessary level of attention up to her standard (for whatever particular relationship in question) so that was the plan to play the overused "cards" to block out what was really happening. Anyway, testosterone can be cause, mating instincts that keep family units together -which differentiates most of us from animals- and even women have shown this type of behavior. I am personally flattered when a woman openly displays this for me, talk about job security with the "honey-do" list! It might be because I am a Leo-3 as well but, there is a proper way to patrol your territory and an improper degree of territorial display. I think if the female is willing to remain in the territory, she should be protected, respected, and well treated in the case of a territorial dispute. Now if she finds herself outside of those boundaries...well, she can consider that her home, I don't fight for women who ride the fence you know? It is all about the way we perceive our loved ones, children and mothers fall under the territorial rules as well. Hope this helps.

    • Yeah, definitely. You talked about the whole keeping together the family unit thing. Do you think there is a difference if that guy grew up in a great, functional household VS. a barely functional household where he had to become the "man" of the house when he was a kid? My ex grew up in the latter. He's super protective of the women in his family, and he always was (and is) of me, too. So, I guess a question is: do you think environment affects this trait in a guy?

    • The whole nature / nurture principle definately has a bearing on this trait. A male in the house having these strong instincts can do it, single mother may initiate this but, boys need to nurture their manhood with a male mentor as well. It would be case by case for the two principles.

    • You brought some good points into the conversation. Thanks! I totally agree that a man shouldn't fight for a woman who rides the fence. I either love someone or I don't, but riding the fence is bad for both people involved. If I'm with a guy, I'm territorial about him, too. I only realized that in my last relationship, though.

  • Men can no longer be territorial over their women anymore. That attitude has been trashed. However a real man doesn't give a sh*t about society thinks now! If you're mine, I'll protect you till my last breath and care for you with everything in my power. But lots of women don't appreciate that mentality anymore.

    • Aww. That's incredibly sweet! I love that mentality. I love when a guy wants to protect me. I'm not a damzel in distress by any means, but knowing that I'm loved and protected is the best feeling.

    • Woot!

    • I wish more guys would think the way you do, actually. :)

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Most Helpful Girls

  • love what milesdavis said!

    I think some of the protective nature in guys is quite natural. Men and women are wired differently! My ex sounds like your yours, and was super protective due to his environment..but it turned out to be a bit more like "controlling" rather than protective...and as society is trying to establish more balance between the sexes lots of women are trying to move away from being controlled by their guy. seems pretty valid.

    At the same time, people are also mixing up a guy being protective with guys trying to be superior. There's a reason why men think the way they do and why there's a natural equilibrium in male-female relationships...why guys are the more muscular sex etc.

    This friend of mine grew up without her dad as her parents were divorced and she once said to me that she didn't feel a sense of inner security all her life due to that. I definitely think that having my father growing up made me feel secure...fast forward- having a guy in my life also brings a similar energy. all part of the natural balance.

    I think guys just have this trait - as long as they're not losers.

    also true that they shouldn' t be expected to 'fight' for anyone who sits on the fence as joe said.

    • Yeah, what he said was sweet. :) My ex was never controlling. I don't put up with that behavior. He did tend to hold me tighter or stand between me and other guys if they were checking me out or if he sensed any threat. There were some really drunk guys one night, and he stayed between me and them the whole time until we could leave. He felt like I was his, and he didn't want other guys around. I agree with what you said about having a great dad around, too. Being protected feels nice.

    • yeah, I got you- didn't think that! I just meant the first part , responding to one of your comments where you asked if this trait in a guy could be affected by environment! sorry I gave a confused answer - didn't mean to say your guy was controlling- just that he grew up with a similar experience as what you described your ex had. yes- being loved and protected is the best feeling. bye-

    • You are confusing protective with territorial and by doing so putting words in these men's mouths qnd misunderstanding what they're saying to you.

  • Instincts, men were supposed to be hunters, protecters and leaders. They love their woman and don't want anything to happen to her. I think its kinda cute, my boy cursed out some girls in my school that were bullying me. It makes me feel safe.

  • It's just one of those things, lol, protective instincts. I'm territorial over my dude too though.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • maybe because he doesn't want somebody else messing with her or flirting with her or whatever. Male jealousy.. simple concept really

    • Cool. Thanks.

  • It's like a instinct I guess. It's like in nature when 2 lions or 2 gorillas fight. When the girl you like or are in a relationship with starts saying positive things about another guy or the guy is approaching her or something. It's like a lion in your chest starts roaring. That's how it feels for me anyway lol. You're ready to start flipping tables and bashing the guy haha ^^.

    It's not really the most mature behaviour and I've never gotten into a fight like this but it is there, I'm pretty territorial and I would do something about it ^^.
    I was talking to a girl and I liked her a bit and she said things about another guysand I got really upset. But I realised later she just didn't care about me so I moved on.

    That was the only time this really happened to me the girl I'm with now cares about me a lot and is very sweet so I haven't been in this situation at least not yet ^^.

  • Why don't men want other men f***ing their women? Because we don't want to be raising another man's child, pretty basic.

    Now ask if men like to date single mothers.

  • Because they are sexist. Sorry but you met those type of guys lol

  • i guess boys don't like to share

  • Only guys that are insecure. They don't want to lose her.

    • Some of us invest time and effort and we'd be damned if someone is gonna walk up and jump in on something we are striving for.

    • There's that too.

  • I think these are primodial instincts, that want us to to protect a womb just as we'd want to protect a home (or our property)!

    • That makes sense. My ex was super protective of me and every inch of his home/property. He was massive, though, so most guys didn't come near me when he was around. haha

    • Letting another guy share your woman's womb also have serious implications! You could end up taking care of somebody else's baby for life! (This is as serious as a woman having sex in pre-contraception days. She could end up having to take care of an unwanted baby for life... it is only after the 1960s that womens' attitudes have changed, after the "technology" allowed for that.)

  • We know what other guys have in mind for you. Making sure they step off is recommended.

    • Ok, good to know. Thanks.