Why won't men date virgins?

I happen to be a 26 year old female virgin. My teens were extremely socially awkward and and I didn't date until I was 22. I still haven't kissed anyone. I am NOT a religious person at all, and I am relatively attractive (it helps that I have lost 50+ lbs also) However, the last few men I have dated have all stopped calling after I told them I am a virgin. Now I do not want to wait until marriage, but I want the person I have sex with to know about it, so that they will be more gentle. I also want to make sure that its safe sex. I don't expect a prince charming nor do I think that the person I lose my virginity with is "the one". I'm actually rather unromantic in a lot of ways. All I can say now is that I'm tired of being abnormal and I hate how people treat me as if I have some disease or something when they find out about this. Any advice?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is a problem with the type of guys you're dating, not you.

    It should be pretty obvious that any guy who would dump you because you're a virgin is way too shallow. Now, I'm not sure if it's actually because you're a virgin, since there may be something else you said that's giving them cold feet, but either way, I doubt that these guys were really worth it.

    Personally, I don't think you should be in such a hurry to lose your virginity, especially since you've managed to keep it for so long.

    It's not going to solve your problem, which is your relative lack of experience in the dating world. You're not going to suddenly wake up after losing your virginity and discover you've made up for all the time you think you lost, especially when the guy you lose it to stops calling afterward. You'll just be back where you started, sans virginity.

    Actually, it's possible that the guys who hear you're a virgin are getting cold feet because they interpret that as meaning that you don't have much experience with relationships...which is the truth. This makes much more sense...especially for guys you're own age, assuming they're mature. For them, dating you is like dating a girl who is 18. They fear that the chances of having a successful relationship with you is slim because you're socially inexperienced, not because you're a virgin.

    I think you should focus on building your dating experience, and trying to find the right guy who you can build a deeper relationship with, rather than just losing your virginity. Your being a virgin is a consequence of your inexperience, not the cause. You say that your not a romantic, but that may be part of the problem...your expectations are too low.

    Single girls your own age are focused on finding the right guy, not on just finding a guy who will have sex with them. If you want to get to the point where they're at, you have to start thinking like them. Don't waste your time with douche bags. Particularly since you lost all that time when you were younger, now is the time to be more selective, not less.

    Also, don't just focus on looking for guys who have a lot of experience, because these guys may not be patient enough to give you a chance. For a lot of people, their first-time having sex is not the best, and that's okay because there'll be plenty of later opportunities to have better sex. What matters is not how good the first-time is but who it is with.

  • i have some advice. just reassure them that you are not going to be hooked or clingy on them if they take your virginity, that's way mst men wrry bout. bur rly, if I was going to be marryin a girl, it would be a fukn exellent thng for me to have been the only 1 in her personal personal life...now that I an swered your ? I will giv a suggestion. since u've waited this lng, dnt settle for ne1 to take it, these guys that wnt take your virginity are only after sex. unless you wanna party and have a bit of fun, in that case go with what I first said.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You shouldn't go broadcasting about your virginity on a first date. Some guys might be turned off because they think that they won't be getting sex any time soon. Don't worry though. There are plenty of good guys out there who won't try and pressure you and will wait until you're ready. I'm a 20 year old virgin and not 'religious'.

  • SEX ISNT ALL THAT GREAT... I SAY KEEP IT. I WOULDNT SEE MYSELF TAKING A V-CARD BUT I HAVE FRIENDS THAT WILL NO PROB. HOLLA!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Delay the virginity talk, delay the inexperience talk. Generally, talk in terms of what you want, instead of what you're avoiding. "I like gentle sex, and taking my time" will get a better response than "I'm a virgin; don't hurt me".

    Before that, though, I would go for a few (very many, actually) adolescent make-out romps, to make up for lost time; you have some catching up to do in the "sweaty fun with boys" department.

  • You have a great attitude about it, from a guys point of view. Um just keep trying tho, someone will come along. I don't get why they would do that sorry.

  • i can't tell if you want to wait until marriage or not by your question, either way just keep telling people if they don't respect your sexual decisions then your better off without them... although I might not tell them I had never kissed a guy before...

  • It could be that the guys who never call think you'll want to be in love before you have sex, when they probably just wanted to have casual sex. Hard to say. But no, I wouldn't mind dating a virgin.

  • Its because that guys think well I think that after you bang a virgin they get so clingy! Plus it takes a wicked long time to hav sex with a virgin..waste of time!

    • banging is banging. your getting some p**** either way, so how is having sex with a virgin a waste of time again?

    • cuz it take 6months...no patience man

    • tis the mentality of the younger generations. we want it and we want it now, and if we don't get what we want now we leave or we bitch.

  • Don't mention that you're so inexperienced. It likely freaks guys out. And it's going to scare them away.

  • you really shouldn't tell them until you're really really close to actually having sex with them.