Why won't my girlfriend let me take her pants off yet?

[Anonymous]

We have been dating since late March and we do dry humping and I get her shirt and bra off, but when it comes to the pants, it's a no go so far. What I also don't get is that my man region can be rubbing against her lady parts and she has no problem with that, granted it's with clothes on, but when I put my hand down there she lets me do it, but is like hesitant. But yet she teases me telling me what panties she is wearing and what color they are. And I say well we can take care of that and she says nope, not yet my body, my rules. Is it just a matter of time?

[ElijahCynicism]

I fell in love with a girl like that. We did everything doable, really far-out fetish sh*t, but she would never take her jeans off, I could never go below waste line. I would always try, you know, and she'd stop me, it was like a game we had, and one time I got under her panties and I touched mons pubis, and she got really upset, it was actually like, psychologically damaging for her.

She had some extremely traumatising childhood experiences. Was your girlfriend ever raped or abused? It might be linked to that. In which case, you just have to treat it with a lot of care, but still try and escalate, that's the best way. I got further with her in two days than her last boyfriend did in a year and 9 months, and he really pressured her, you dig? Just... Let it take it's course. If you can wait for her, do.

If not, well, yer fukked. Talk to her about it, though, either way. Ask her what the deal is. Why would you ask us without asking her, seriously, what the hell. Find out if there's any hang-ups, deep in there.

[kholland65]

She's obviously not ready for sex, however, I think the teasing is rather cruel. She shouldn't be getting you going with statements like that, if she only plans on shooting you down when you make a move.

[Ingrid422]

Well I'm pretty sure she's only doing it for safety reasons, because she knows that once the pants are gone it could

a) lead to sex

b) lead to something she's not ready for

c) make her uncomfortable (mostly if he has hang ups)

d) make her distrust your will to respect her wishes

e) increase the risk of pregnancy in case things get too heated

I wouldn't try anymore if I were you. I've never been one to play that sort of game but I can imagine that it could get pretty irritating for her if you keep doing that. I think it sucks but I'll remind you though that there's still PLENTY you can do with your hand down there. The more you do that way, the more comfortable she'll get and eventually it might lead to her putting her guards down - or lower, hopefully.

[emmabee11]

She wants to get more comfortable and closer to you first, she doesn't want you to move so quickly, let her get comfortable, that is what she means by a matter of time, building a relationship takes time so just breath and do the usual foreplay. I am the same with guys, I am totally hesitant and just not comfortable at first to me letting him put this parts in there lol I just haven't got comfortable enough to do so. Also I also like to tease men hehe :P but yeh... she's just not comfortable enough, take your time with her and be paitent, good things come to those who wait :).

[Yriuqni]

I do the same with my boyfriend .. except that I don't let him touch me there at all .. not even with anything ! .. I do that mainly because I know that if I open that door , we won't be able to stop and have sex which is something we don't wanna do until we get married ..

Also.. to be completely honest now , I'm pretty self conscious about myself in that area , I don't know why , but since I am virgin and nobody ever looked/touched that area .. makes me feel uncomfortable and afraid that maybe won't like it or something ..

[Yriuqni]

I also don't tease him with that area .. that's just mean! I never bring it up

[yesthisisme]

She is keeping her pants on because she knows once they're off sex will happen. Not because you don't respect her wishes, but because that's her mind set. It hasn't really been that long, but I.imagine you don't have much longer to wait.

[samhradh_leannan]

Once your pants are off, it's really hard not to move too quickly, because suddenly you have easy access to all the body parts you would move quickly WITH. If you're waiting longer to have sex, it's smart to keep the pants on until you get closer to being ready for that step.

She might also feel shy about her body.

[TheBedroomDiary]

She may not be ready because she thinks it could lead to sex.

That's what I think.

[TheBedroomDiary]

I'm just saying. That's the only place it seemed to be heading. I don't think there is any other reason. Unless she likes to tease you. *shrugs*

[99PROBLEMS]

Maybe she has a d*** too?

[Anonymous]

re your update with the pants off it's really hard not to though lol with them on she KNOWS she can let herself go and not worry things are gonna get too heated where she'll let you do something she wants to wait on doing. That's exactly how I lost mine so I know exactly what she's doing she's a smart girl I wish I'd been that smart about it.

[Anonymous]

she's not ready. its her body and her rules like she said. why would she take her pants off and her bra off but still be like "no sex" that's just inviting even more temptation. if she isn't ready for sex then she shouldn't take her pants off even more

[Anonymous]

The sex change operations are not complete yet.

[HotChocolate0621]

Lmao, seriously?