Why would he turn down no strings attached sex?

Guys, help me out here. So I started dating, or maybe we should say started meeting this guy out for drinks, went out a few times and on the third date, I said to him, we can't fall in love, this is just gonna be a sexual thing and even if its a one nighter that would be fine with me. Well when I said that it looked like someone had just told this guy his dog died, nothing more said from either of us on the subject, date ended he walked me to me car, we started kissing and he told me not directly could have been the alcohol but he said I love you, I did not respond, just kissed him, he went to his vehicle I got into mine. So anyways since then we have been out once, nothing happened, just kissed again, but more interestingly I think we have not been out yet he calls, I call, but no one has asked the other out, I'm not sure why he's calling, but I also don't know why he turned down my sexual advance, he told me I have a hot body, I'm beautiful etc etc, even said after our 2nd date and I quote "can you imagine the sex we would have" so what's up with this guy? Scared? Performance worries? He's real big on looks, is he trying to lose some weight, he seems real caught up on weight (his). Would he avoid seeing me for awhile and still call to keep me somewhat interested while he looses weight? Did he want more? Thoughts Please?
Updates:
+1 y
Well I guess we could, but under the circumstances, which are, he has a live in girlfriend, and I have a live in boyfriend, I don't think it would be a good idea, he and I both stated on our first date that we are not in love with our current partners
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Most Helpful Guys

  • WARNING! WARNING! DANGER! DANGER!

    You better work things out with your current boyfriend before messing around with someone else. The one exception is that you have a very open relationship with your current man. He should do the same with his girly. Best to end this now THEN start fresh with the new person. Affairs and such are a BAAAAAAD idea. You can't have a good sex-fling when you are involved with someone else. This works maybe one in a ten million at best.

    You have a lot of thinking to do before you make any more decisions.

  • He might be wanting a real relationship, and not just the sex. What he is hearing is that he is not boyfriend material. So, one day, if you bring up that you want a relationship, he might come around. ;-)

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 3
  • Just curious why can't you fall in love?

  • maybe he doesn't want drama or possible problems. cheating is wrong. or maybe he's trying to be a better christian...like me

  • This isn't new. Men turn down women that are VERY attractive to them's offers of no strings sex all the time. Yes, even men when offered are of healthy mind and body in an extremely sexually aroused state It's been happening more and more over the last 50 years. This problem really picked up in the 1990's when boys born in the 70's got to their teens. Had nothing to do with AIDS or stds.

    Never has sex had no strings unless there is not a chance the woman could track the guy in the future or the guy dies soon after the sex. No strings sex is when the women doesn't get pregnant and leaves him alone after. On the female side no strings means the man will not stock her for more later on.

    As to the big ones of no strings sex. For eons the only thing the man really had a reason to fear was pregnancy. Back in the day that meant he was expected by most people to marry the woman and pay for/paise the child. Men took the risk, there was a chance at knocking her up but it was worth it to him, at the time of/during the sex acts.

    Lets jump ahead to modern times. lets list all the worries he has now.

    1. Woman clearly agrees to consensual sex but cries rape after. Men REALLY have to worry about this because there has been so many true stories of innocent men sent to prison and sooner or later the women admits she lied or incontrovertible evidence exonerates him. This is SCARY stuff. Men have gone to prison on a woman's lie of rape for up to decades and thats just the lucky innocent men. Right now there are a lot of men in prison who are really innocent that will have to serve out there entire lengthy sentences. they could be killed in prison, catch AIDS and so much more. Its TERRIFYING to men. It's not like I'm saying men are consciously thinking about this at the time of an offer of sex it's subconscious.

    2. Fear or being ordered by a court to pay child support in amounts unreasonably high or go to jail for non payment. Men see it all the time where men are forced to pay these crazy high sums well in far excess needed to pay for the BASICS any child needs. Child support is more like mother and child support its so high. Again fear of imprisonment this time it's only jailz (usually) , prison is much worse.

    3. Std's have been around forever. STDS are just a lot more of a worry in modern times and some are life long financially draining to deal with. Also a worry an STD could kill him.. it happens. There are a lot more worries that kick around in guys heads over this but those are the biggies.

    You hear about young men (and old) who are perfectly capable of getting an erection when aroused but don't become erect when with women who are very attractive and the man is VERY attracted to her. This is not a testosterone issue at all its a mental issue caused by all the worries wizzing around in his head. Sex is VERY mental and when men's minds are over taxed subconsciously with worry and fear a flaccid penis is the result.

    The other go to is blaming porn for men not becoming erect when with a woman or even women they are very attracted to. The erection issue aside when men are watching porn they would rather be having real sex. Women just don't get that a man young to even old really old when with women that are VERY attractive they will perform to climax multiple times in a single sex session if he has the chance and the time. BUT like I said, in modern times the worries are to great and it kills erections.

    When someone really thinks about this long enough and get to the root cause (s) of men refusing sex or not performing erectionally when they should and could be. Its all down to the laws/courts unfair to men, they all came to be because of feminism.