Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health +1 y
Why is it wrong for a man to refuse to date or marry women that have engaged in premarital sex?
Anonymous
If the guy is waiting I mean.
Updates:
+1 y
So what Distant I'm supposed to marry some woman that's spent years fooling around because she has "changed?" Because she's no longer a slut (usually because she became a single mom or lost her sex appeal with age). These women stop being promiscuous
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Because they are replaced. Why would any sane man take used goods? In our granxparents generation marriage didn't fail and infidelity was unheard of. Now feminism has came and told women its OK to whore around. And marriage failing hurts men more
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What Girls & Guys Said
71 42Nothing at all. Just be aware that you may be passing on someone very special just because they chose to do what is very normal.
Nothing wrong.
However, Hypocricy would be wrong. Saying one thing and doing another.
Marriage failing hurts men more?Wow,isn't that kind of sexist?Infidelity was unheard of because people weren't flaunting with it, not because it didn't exist.They had more shame towards the community than they do now.
Also, men have been whoring around just as much,if not more than women have,so what exactly is your point?
It's okay to want to marry a virgin.Go ahead and do that, but don't dare look down on a woman for thinking she's found the right man and had been let down by him.Being naive and trusting someone doesn't make you a whore,and it definitely doesn't make you 'used goods'.
What if you find your virgin and you marry, and the sex is absolutely rubbish?Who says one of you isn't going to cheat or ask for a divorce for that sole reason?We seek happiness in life, not spending a lifetime with someone regardless they're right for us or not.
Well the woman.that were fooled have unfortunately lost the mating game by being too.stupid to.go after the right kind of men. As gatekeepers of.sex these women's failed and are more likely.to.cheat or otherwise fail. A proper mother should be of good moral character and not some used bimbo.
Also virgins have no basis for comparison
I bet you're the kind of person who walks past someone asking for help without even looking because you're afraid they might be lying or trying to trick you.Not everyone is cynical and not everyone is afraid of trusting and giving everything they have to someone they love.The fact that the other has no respect for it doesn't make a woman stupid.It just makes the man a manipulative asshole. We obviously have different views tho, so let's leave it at that.
Haha what if they get curious?
Most people with that little self control lose it in or before high school. And blame it on the guy or justify it some other way. Hell if I know how sluts think
I will just tell you, that women do have one night stands...believe me they do, and it depends what you mean by 'most' because at the end of the day, we all have needs, and if we're single and ain't getting it, we might just go looking for it..simple.
Well either 50 percent or more of women have had a ONS or they haven't there's really no inbetween. What would you say is the answer?
Explain what's wrong with ONS, please.
Well I'm speaking in terms of Christian morality. I couldn't care less what ungodly women do. They signed their own death warrants.
If you're going to date someone with the intention of marrying them, you may want to bring up the subject much earlier than the alter. If that is an important attribute in a spouse then you should find out before you commit to that level of relationship. Alternatively, you should remember that Christ does not hold our sins against us when we repent and are born again through Him. Likewise, it would hypocritical of us to hold the sins of others against them. Most men these days are (sadly) not virgins when they marry. Much to the disappointment of all the married women I've met. However, those men have been blessed by their wives marrying them IN-SPITE of their choice to give away their virginity. That doesn't make the act of sleeping around right, it's still sin. But Christ is about mercy, no self-righteousness.
Well, there is a simple answer to your problem. Go find some man, with a daughter that he keeps locked up in the house, and only lets out with a male family member. She doesn't think or speak for herself. From here you can negotiate a good price for your new, and not used goods of a wife.Since she has yet to leave the home of her family, she will still be submissive and unquestioning to you. I hope you get a good price for your un-used wife to-do.
Your question is B.S. and bias. No answer. Stupid updates too.
If that is the kind of woman you want, then nothing wrong with that, but in reality the chances of finding an attractive girl that is a virgin, is very slim. Even church going preachers daughters get knocked up.
I actually dated a girl for a short time that was virgin, and she was gorgeous, and right off the bat told me that she was going to be a virgin until she was married, so like I said they do exist but you just have to look in the right places, and find yourself a hardcore Christian woman.
I'm not religious, and I refuse to give religion a try.
Not religious yet you want a virgin, the main reason why women stay a virgin is because of religion, premarital sex it's in the bible, so say you meet and date your virgin, she is going to be highly religious trust me on that one, and if you refuse religion, then she's not going to stick around very long.
It's not wrong at all. I WANT TO WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE. But my stupid self-esteem thinks that no guy would ever wait for me. If you don't want to have sex with a girl who has had pre-marital sex, then you do not have to. Just please don't call her a slut or a whore. That's not right.
Yeah that probably is harsh and disrespectful, only started doing that because the women on this site were calling me a loser. There are a lot of sluts and manwhores out there though, just the same.
I'm waiting for marriage too and I thought no guy would wait for me, but I found a good guy that feels the same way and we've been together 2.5 years
Good for you guys
Yeah,us girls can be a bit harsh to guys who are virgins. I guess we don't understand why men would bother valuing their virginity, seeing as they don't have a hymen to prove it. At least I don't fully understand. But I always admire it.
You do realize that the hymen develops with age, and most don't develop a full hymen covering and many people are born without one right? Or that things like gymnastics or horse back riding or child hood injuries can damage it without you even having sex?
How old are you Answerer? If you don't mind me asking
that's not true. I've dated a couple men that back in the day when I wasn't ready for sex I told them I was waiting for marriage. They were fine with it. They even thought it was sexy I was a virgin
And I'm guessing you ended up not waiting lol Typical women.
I think that sex before marriage is wrong and I support you for having high standards...that's a hard thing to find these days. =) I don't think that men or women should mess around before marriage because purity is the best gift you could give to your future partner.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your wanting to find a woman who has kept herself for marriage. However, you can't have a double standard; if you have been fooling around, then you can't have one standard for yourself and another for the women you date.
Indeed. I'm a virgin, but what cheeses me off is that many virgin women are OK with dating non virgin men
You want to control their sex life even before marrying them?
Or do you feel so insecure that you wan't a girl who isn't able to compare?
No. I just have standards. Don't want a bad woman raisng my kids
What's 'bad' about making love?
there is nothing wrong in not wanting such woman. but you have no right to judge someone either
Alright, so a bit of a necro question, but I must comment.
Just because a girl isn't a virgin doesn't mean she was a slut.
Of course if you use terms like "whore" and "slut" it comes across completely negatively.
You can't expect everyone and their dogs to share the same morals as yourself.
By simply having a personal rule that consists of marriage to a non-virgin is off limits, you are totally shallow. What if you meet a girl, hit it off great, have a lot in common, end up "falling in love" -if I may use such a pedestrian phrase- and you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Turns out she's not a virgin, maybe has even been with more than one guy in the past. Out the window right? Who needs her?
"Why would any sane man take used goods"
Well any *man* and not a simpering dunce like yourself would realize that woman are people to be treasured and loved just as much as any male, not some kind of expired milk product sitting in the back of your fridge.
"marriage didn't fail and infidelity was unheard of"
Tell me you're not this dense. Marriage didn't fail because woman were possessions to be kept by a man, if their marriage failed they were stale and unworthy of a second chance. The only reason infidelity was never heard of was because it was the men who had countless mistresses and no one cared if males slept around because if they did it was most likely a failing on the part of the wife to keep her marriage intact.
"marriage failing hurts men more"
Again, tell me you're not this dense. You can't blanket label something like a divorce. Every situation varies. Don't be that idiot who thinks he knows everything about everyone's lives.
It's statistical fact America has the highest divorce rate in the industrial world and that's in large part due to infidelity. In addition to this men usually pay the bulk of the legal costs associated with alimony. Point to QA IMO
I was assuming her was referring to "hurt" in an emotional sense, which cannot be possibly blanket termed. Though I see what you mean from a financial stance.
Well I hope "gang raped" women done count there >>
I agree up to a certain point, I mean if all men were like you girls would finally have some damn self respect
In the same time I must agree that not all girls fool around
There's even those few that it was a 1-time mistake
I mean, in this day and age its encouraged by pretty much everyone and everything
Some are bound to make mistakes they can't take back, no mater how much they regret it
So you might have to set some limits bigger than 0
PS
Yes our parents/grandparents time was more ... self-restrictive, but in the ame time girls werent alowed to be even friends with males
And because of tht my mother fell victim to a huge pretender/liar
Plus girls my age back my mom's time thought that sitting on a toilet could get you pregnant
Their time has its bad sides too you know xD
No, not wrong, but note that many women (wisely) find extreme inflexibility a Big Red Flag in a relationship, and will refuse to date this guy under any circumstances.
not true at all
If the man is a good enough liar or good looking or really charismatic they will put up with it.
I'm sorry, you're right; girls are really hot for stubbornness and the inability to compromise. I must have been thinking of something else.
women like inflexible, they like a man that handles his bussiness and knows what he wants the thing is when you know exactly what you want and let it be know less women will fit the bill and they will say they won't date you only because they can't and don't want to feel overlooked its a defense mechanism
what you call comprimis is definitley not comprimise, comprimise is what's for dinner, where we eat, where we live, what cars we buy what house we buy, where you vacation all these things are stuff to find a middle ground on he holds this to be important to him and his life therfore its is not being stubborn its being an adult, if you like hicking and camping living hundreds of miles from nature might be a bit of a problem
If there's one thing I like about your answers I-hedoniste... it's the acidic sarcasm!
Sarcastic? Moi? Never!
I-hedoniste, I like them too.
Heh I'm pretty sure he'd agree he likes his answers too
Thanks, guys!
Mmmm sarcasm. Allowing people to agree without agreeing since common users could meet at a base line intelligence level. I approve.
Actually, infidelity may have been unheard of, but it still occurred plenty. Simple blood typing tests alone have suggested a high incidence of infidelity discovered during the red scare in the late 50's. The test results were not released; researchers thought that they were going to show American's high moral values.
On the whole, if you only want to date virgins, go for it. Anybody gives you crap about it, tell them its important to you and to eff off. It's rather presumptuous to tell someone that what they're into is wrong.
However, don't think that you're going to convince me that its wrong for two people to engage in sex outside of marriage if (1) they do so voluntarily and (2) they have no obligation to anyone else not to do so. The used goods argument is rather weak; have you ever bought a used car? How about restoring a classic car? How about enjoying an antique table?
Uh... not everyone who lost their virginity did it willingly.
Are you including people who got raped? I mean, I got molested when I was a kid but that was against my will and I am waiting for marriage before I plan on willingly participating in sexual acts. Don't tell me all the virgin guys won't even date me because of something that happened when I was 5!
:O
Not sure about the QA, but I wouldn't date you because you engaged in sex after that incident and used it as an excuse to justify your poor life decisions, which shows a lack of moral character and blatant immaturity.
One of the first things I vividly remember is being molested by some crazy ass lady my parents left me at when I was 3 or 4. I remember her hands on me and telling me to not tell my parents about it. And that stupid fan. But I stayed pure unlike most of the garbage that is humanity out there.
lol no I didn't. I did not engage in sex after that incident. And I am sorry that you were molested. And now that we are on the same level, I don't think they are garbage. I just think that they are... misled.
there is nothing wrong with it, it will just be difficult.
there aren't many people who will get past college age and still be a virgin, it's socially acceptable these days to fool around a bit.
the reason its "wrong" is because people will take it the wrong way, like having had sex is a negative reflection upon them. which it isn't, if you imply it is then that is wrong.
I am a virgin abd I intend to stay Pne until I get married. For me I'm just not attracted to men who have had sex before. I don't know if I am like you where I'm totally against the idea of being with someone who isn't a virgin but I guess in a way I am similar. I totally understand what you saying but I used to be very skeptic of teen moms with a kid but one of my close friends that I met 2 years back had a kid and she was just a wonderful and intelligent person do I don't think it's right to be so completely against the idea of being with a non Irgun. I think it just depends on the person and whether in general you have the same morals.
it isn't wrong, it just limits your options
I'm not a whore, I only sleep with men within relationships...and I also am not into marriage either, so I'd be a virgin forever...
Well I have no idea how many whores are out there. But it seems like even most 'Christian' women have been with over 2 men. Stupid sluts.
You seem to know them and to what they did in their intimity : were you in their sleeping rooms then?
I'm going off of CDC numbers
What do you call the men who sleep around? Stupid pimps? Why not give equal time to the men who sleep around while degrading fallible human beings? It takes two to sleep around, so don't leave out the men and the part they have played in all of this.
I feel like calling them stupid sluts is a way to get any woman. You obviously have an unhealthy procupation with this issue. I'm sure there is a website that has matching up virgins like eharmony or something.
I'm with you there.
Having dealt with eharmony, I can say that this is not correct. A lot of the Christian women on there are not virgins and a few of them that claim to be are probably lying. Never trust anyone that has a message from God, don't trust a whore of a woman that has cheated or had sex and never expect people to change. Because they don't change, and Christians are the most hypocritical people in the world. IMO Grace is not enough, and God is NOT good. If he exists at all, he abandoned his children
Because its usually paired with the kind of people who say "Why would any sane man take used goods?"
Lol.
Yes, I said that. It's true, isn't it? Women are a depreciating asset as it is, and it's already a certain folly to invest in something that loses a lot of intrinsic value with age, right? A good investment typically yields value or profit, whereas investing in women rarely does. It makes more sense to lease women.
A financially successful man is likely to gain more money as he ages, a woman will almost never become more beautiful. Best case scenario is she ages well and retains the value she had.
LOL, what the f*** is wrong with you?
I'm realistic.
Your insane
Not trying to be a d*** about it, but it's essentially true. Women are not an asset that increases with age. Ask any married man that
Well, no. Your correct, but like. Seeing them as an 'asset' is such a downer of a view. Going down that line of logic, there'd be no point in marrying at all, other than conforming to social convention. As you can you can sustain emotional attachments to females and benefit from whatever part of a relationship you most desire, from multiple silent assets, without them being any drain on your resource.