Would it bother you if your girlfriend refused to touch herself in front of you?

[Anonymous]

What if you asked her to do it a couple times and she told you no because she doesn't like it. She kind of finds it embarrassing, but she will show you where to touch her, as that is more fun. Is touching herself in front of you that big of a turn on, or could you do without it? Help me understand here guys!

[Anonymous]

I have a similar desire for my GF, so perhaps I can provide some insight.

Personally, I might let it go, if it was something that really bothered her, there are plenty of other things we can do together...

But, if she's just a little uncomfortable, because she's never really touched herself before, even for her own pleasure, or if she's just nervous because it's kind of new, then I might try and help her to get over that fear. Trust has gone a long way to opening my GF's eyes to sexual possibilities, so if it was just something small, I would ease her into it, and show her it wasn't so bad, but if it was something more deep-seated in her psyche that's making her not want to, then I will not push hard. As I said, there are plenty of other things we can do.

[Asker]

I don't know if it's something I will get over or not. I just feel very stupid doing it. Self contious and a little embarased. but I true him totally. I kind of feel really bad that I refused to do it. I guess I'm just a little confused right now

[Opinion Owner]

That he asks, means he must like it; I cannot explain myself why it is so arousing to see a girl touch herself for you, only that it is. Don't feel stupid, he LIKES IT.

[Asker]

Thanks. I think I should try it a bit for him. But I'm just not sure if I can yet. But I will try for him. thanks for helping understand a bit more

[Anonymous]

its a HUGE HUGE HUGE turn ON ! it tells me that she is comfortable with her self and also the sex is better with females who really know there bodies and know what they like . you shouldn't feel embarassed at all. you need to make your self feel better about doing it before you do it for him or you will just feel silly . touch your self when he isn't around and just relax and let your self get into it . do it in the mirror so you can see how pretty you look doing it I know that sounds crazy but you got to bring your shyness to an end . it will make your sex life better

[Asker]

He wants me to look at myself in the mirror too. I told him I would - just as long as I had clothes on. I guess I'm just not that comfortable with myself yet. It's not that I think of myself as ugly or anything. Just average. He has really helped me feel beutiful. I didn't feel that way before him. Again, I didn't feel ugly - just plain and I was OK with that. this is all so very new and sometimes hard. I will try your advise, as I think this is somethin I need to get past. I love & trust him.

[Opinion Owner]

If he wants to see you do this then I'm sure he already thinks your sexy .

[Asker]

Yes. I know he thinks I'm sexy and I'm glad. Part of me just wishes he THAT so sexy. But maybe I just need to try a bit harder. Thanks, your words really did help. :)

[Opinion Owner]

I can see why you don't understand how him seeing you do that would be a turn on becuase when a girl see a man do that I don't think that turns girls on at all infact it turns a lot a females away . but you must understand that females are diff and there bodies are so sexy and soft . so when a girl touches herself it don't look strange or crazy it looks GREAT !

[Asker]

Ok. You seem to be using a lot of the same word he does, so it makes sense. He always says he LOVES how soft I am, ect. and it doesn't bother me when he touches himself, but doesn't really do anything for me either. I- it a trust thing? Vonerablity thing? You've given me a lot to think about. Thanks!

[happychic]

Have you considered mutal masturabation? Maybe if he is doing it at the same time you will feel less self conscious about it. Or maybe doing it whilst he is doing something else to you lick kissing your neck or breasts that way all the attention is not on what you are just doing?

Just a few ideas.

[l-hedoniste]

It would be a disappointment--it's a really fun show I'd be missing--but I'd deal, especially if I'm doing it for her.

The embarrassment, though, will be a long-term project. She'll love her body at least as much as I do, or I'm not doing my job.

[Asker]

Good answer

[Angantyr]

I could do without it. Plus I prefer touching my partner's soft, curvy body.

[Asker]

Very good answer :)

[BlackSuperman]

Yes it is... dated a lady like that... frustrating... the sex got real boring after a while...We love seeing a girl touch herself... we already know all girls are freaky... we just like seeing them get off like that... makes us want it more.

[Asker]

I can see some of your point, but it brings up a question for me. you say you like to see her " get off" by it. But what if that's not what gets her off. What if YOU are what gets her off? would really like to know. I need to understand. if it is really important I would try to fake my way through to make him happy, but I just don't know what to do. I really just want to understand and I don't want to hurt his feelings. Yet I am having a hard tme with this

[BlackSuperman]

We like seeing the girl enjoy herself.. getting into the fantasy... a girl touching herself is not only so sensual, it is a real good way for a guy to get more into her... that is it in a nutshell

[Anonymous]

Mine won't either!

[Asker]

How does that make you feel? upset? hurt? irritated? or is it somethin that's not that important? I'm just trying to understand the guys side in all this

[Opinion Owner]

A little annoyed, frankly. But it isn't a big deal, we have lots of other fun!

[Asker]

Thanks for helping me try to understand. it all seems so very weired to me, but I should at least try I think. Thanks

[Opinion Owner]

My firlfriend doesn't drink at all so it isn't as easy for her to 'loosen up" and try new things. I know that sometimes when I want to try something new with her that it will be hard for me to ask because I'm afraid it will come across as dorky, or kinky, But with a small amount of alcohol I lose most of that shyness. I think she is just feeling self conscious. Another example: If she doesn't feel like having sex, I'd like to be able to jack-off next to her, but I don't feel I can do that!

[Asker]

He touches himself in ront of me & can jack off and it doesn't bother me at all. As long as he's happy, I'm happy. I'm usually very willing to try new things (This is my first relationship) but at just having trouble with this one. As far as the drinking, I can't go there. I came from a family of alcohlic and was raised around a very abusive one, so the smell of booze puts me on the fight. I have nothing against those who do drink. I just can't do it myself. Too many bad memories. Thanks again!

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I understand about the alcohol, I have the same history! Think of it this way then: He is asking you to share one of the most personal things you can do, with him. That is one of the things sex is: sharing extremely personal moments and actions with a person you love. To some extent you are allowing him to be an extension of yourself; to experience what you really feel. Very personal. And very hot!

[Asker]

Makes sense. I will give it a try. Thanks

[Anonymous]

A girl touching her self in front of me is a major turn on, but I could probably live without it.

[Asker]

So would you be a little hurt if she refused to do it for you?

[Opinion Owner]

No, I would understand that it would make her feel a little awkward.

[Asker]

Thanks.:)