Would you stop masturbating if your girlfriend or boyfriend didn't like it?

I hate it when my boyfriend masturbates when I'm in the mood for sex because well that's what I'm here to do and why not both get our rocks off but I don't know if I should tell him to knock it off.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Instead of trying to tell him to "stop", why not suggest he (i) does it only when he has to, i.e. doesn't get sex for whatever reason (ii) does it in a way that doesn't interfere with your love life -- i.e. not masturbate immediately before or too close to the time you could have sex (iii) include it in the love play, so that it doesn't keep you left out, and you could climax possibly in sex...

    For one, you'll need to get bold enough to tell him your feelings.

    I do masturbate, and wouldn't stop if someone asked/ordered me to (because it's never ever possible to be in exact tandem among a couple, specially during a long time relationship). But I do try my best to see it doesn't overlap with the possibility of couple-sex.

    There are times when I'm tired, and can't stand an hour-long love-making session. Though this is rare, if I feel the need for physical release, I would probably masturbate.

    • We live together, I often go to work with him and well I have never said no to sex with him... Note has he said no to me but I feel like less of a woman if I'm not pleasing him... And as for an hour of love making I have never expected that long of sex lol I like it shorter, sweeter and more personal 75% of the time I'm lucky if I last more then 45 min and if he's tired I respect that I don't need sex 6 times a day everyday lol

    • You sound fine, and so does your attitude. I would suggest you don't let the p*rn thing bother you too much. I'm into p*rn big time. It doesn't make me less horny for my woman; on the contrary! Believe me.

  • Haha I'm pretty sure I'd prefer sex to masturbation. Why not just tell him you're in the mood for sex? And if you're saying you want him to stop completely (all the time), I'd wonder why but if she felt really strongly then I'd respect that and I'd stop.

Most Helpful Girls

  • No. I masturbate when I want to. What's the big deal? I don't care if my boyfriend masturbates. Sometimes it's just easier to do that rather than have sex. You know what gets you off the quickest and you don't have to worry about getting your partner off. Don't get me wrong, I love sex, but sometimes I just need to masturbate. And you don't have the right to tell your boyfriend to stop. Maybe say you want sex more often but you can't tell him to stop masturbating...well you could but he won't listen anyway. It will just result in him hiding it from you and doing it behind your back.

    • I guess I'm lucky IF my boyfriend was going to use his hand he wouldn't hide it from me he would do it in front of me or let me know he was going to do it...

  • Well I have a problem with this too, actually. I know its an unpopular opinion, (though I don't even believe its an opinion, its just how I feel and I can't help it), but I don't like masturbating and I don't like the idea of my boyfriend masturbating either.

    I guess it can't be more important than your relationship. In my case I just can't deal with it, and a good boyfriend would respect that, and wouldn't want to be doing something that hurts me, specially because I fell so strongly about it. If he does, then I guess it's not a good relationship after all.

  • stop being so damn selfish and insecure. he can masturbate all he wants to. obviously if that's what you're there to do then you're not doing the job right or enough. it's probably not even that. it's just that he's a man with sexual needs who likes to masturbate. stop internalizingit and acting like it's about you when it's not

    • The question wasn't even about me... Or my boyfriend it's about people in general...

    • BS! You specifically said "I hate it when he does it" and "I don't know if I should tell him to knock it off" so don't try to act like you were asking about people in general when throughout your entire question, you focused on yourself and your own relationship. You didn't mention anything about others possibly dealing with this issue! You can't even say it wasn't about you when it's obvious it was!

    • My boyfriend has only once done that... And he's since told me that he has no need to do it until I say no to him plus apparently he likes what I can do, it's more of a we are trying to have a baby and he did it, and my girlfriend and her husband have a problem with him masterbating like 12 times a day IN MY HOUSE seeing As they live in the house too it's a big problem for me and my boyfriend having to deal with it

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 11
  • you should too!

    good chance that will get his attention. if not, at least you will have gotten off.

    • Well I know when I do it drives him insane lol if he's not there he gets upset if he's there I get sex too lol

    • so there you go... maybe you found a solution?

  • FIrst off I wouldn't stop something that's personal just because a girlfriend told me to. As far as having sex, it's actually much easier to masturbate than have sex, which requires a lot more work. Does that mean that we like masturbation better than sex? No, but sometimes we prefer it.

  • Heck no. It's good for him and it makes him happy.

    • Whoops, I answered this as if it asked, "Would you ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to stop masturbating?" Not sure why. I wouldn't stop, I'd help him understand why I do it.

  • Hell no. If my girlfriend wanted me to stop I wouldn't stop. There's nothing wrong with your boyfriend masturbating. It doesn't mean you don't do your job right.

  • I wouldn't, but if he would choose masturbating over me I'd probably be pissed, too. If that's the case, I don't think masturbating is the problem, I think he is. Masturbating is harmless and should be reserved for when you're alone or when you both want to at the same time :P

    Just tell him that you want more sex, I'm sure he won't disagree!

  • i think its fair if you're in the mood but not fair to stop completely, and not fair to do it so much that he's never in the mood for you.

  • I would never stop masturbating and I don't see why my girlfriend should demand it? Maybe next she will decide what food I can eat or what books I can read?

    We in Britain have this principle: Live and let live.

  • for one thing...does he KNOW your in the mood? or is he supposed to read yer mind?

    • Well my boyfriend knows when I'm in the mood because well we have the same sex drive lol but for other relationships I don't know if a persons in the mood they should show the other person they are.

  • no won't stop ...

  • never

  • noo

  • it would depend if she would "help me instead" and most likey yes but remember men are hard wired to masturbate lol or have some kind of sexual release

  • His hand was there before you came along and his hand will be there after you're gone. Why don't you do something so you're as tight as his hand?

    • And a girl can do that how exactly?

    • I hear kegel exercises work wonders.

    • True maybe that's why my bfs had issues getting in me lol oh and of course when I master ate I tense up and tighten

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  • Time to get over yourself sweetheart

    • Get over myself how exactly?

    • Can't tell him to stop masturbating. If you're in the mood, say it. Don't make him guess what you're thinking and feeling, us men aren't good at it. So he's masturbating probably because you don't put out enough, you're boring, or you just plain suck. So try spicing things up.

    • Well I guess it's a good thing it's not my boyfriend who master ares constantly lol and my boyfriend knows if I'm in the mood we have the same sex drive and I make it known when I want it lol and I don't need to spice things up because things are always being tried and experimented with us

  • No. What is the big deal in masturbating? I don't get it

    • Guys have only so many erections/orgasms in a given time period, she thinks they shouldn't 'go to waste'.

    • I guess when one of the two people wants sex and the other doesn't have sex with them for days on end because they masturbate daily that would be a issue...

    • Maybe he's mad at you about something, QA, or there are other issues which aren't being resolved to his satisfaction. That would cause me to withdrawal. It could be something completely unrelated to sex.