Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
1. He's so much larger.
Yes, I got to choose his size and he fits inside of me just right!
2. He's always turned on.
Yes, I can literally flick the "on" button and he's ready for action!
3. He's convenient to my pleasure.
He's literally just a dresser drawer away. I can grab him right now and have the best day!
4. He doesn't talk back.
Yes, he just shuts the fuck up and drills me, just the way that I like.
5. He's never "too tired".
When he's starting to burn out, I just load him up with more batteries and like a jackrabbit, he
never fails to go at it!
6. I can suck him the way that I want to.
Yes honey! I'm a trooper because I'm in total control. He's not putting his sweaty palms at the back of my head showing me what to do next!
7. He's never turned off.
No, he really never is...
I thought I confirmed this already with statement number (2)
8. He knows how to take care of his girl!
Oh man, Stanley always hits the spot!
He thrusts so deeply inside of me, and gives me amazing clitoral stimulation.
*Whew* I'm even experiencing an "o" just speaking about it!
Ladies, can you pass me a towel?
9. He never gets camera shy!
Yes, I've filmed the two of us before!
He's so damn great!
I can only imagine that he was a porn star in his past life.
10. He will not knock me up.
Lets have marathon sex today!
No pregnancy tests needed!
No answers need to be confirmed!
11. He doesn't make a mess.
Clean up on aisle...what?
Some guys think my mouth was made for cleaning up spills.
WRONG!
12. He doesn't get jealous.
I chose my other dildo over him on Friday. He didn't mind. He stayed hard and drilled me non-stop on Saturday.
I think my kinkiness turns him on!
Final Note: This myTake is not meant to be taken seriously and is only a spoof!
For those of you women that actually do feel this way,
Well, I bare no responsibility, may the outraged men proceed.
*Wipes forehead and walks away*
What Girls & Guys Said
17 39😂😂😂 you are amazing girl!.. I freaking loved the take.. I was about to leave and I will leave this website but with a huge smile and happy! Mind!.. And I will buy my girl a nice dildo on next birthday!.. 👍👍👍
I hope that the two of you are blissfully happy.
You will not be missed.
I love my dildo for the same reasons!! I name my Spirit
if it don't make a mess, it ain't doing you right... namsayin!
Best myTake ever. LMAO hahahahaha It made my day.
girl i don´t even need a "tool" to have more fun than with a girl like you :P
That was funny and kind of true :)
I can't blame you at all.
We on the other side have porn and other toys available =) You actually inspired me to make my own take "X reasons why video games and porn are better than you" but there are already such takes, so no need to create another one :)
I know this is a troll post but why not I'll play along
1. Debatable
2. I have an on button too ;)
3. If we were living together I'd be closer
4. I'm all for drilling
5. What if you run out of batteries? The all natural method means you never have to worry about that or spend any money on it.
6. If you're as good as you think you are sure go ahead but if you suck wouldn't you like suggestions?
7. Dress nice and I won't either
8. ;)
9. Ok you got me there not a fan of filming
10. Let's do it. I'll grab some condoms you get birth control
11. Fine no cumshot
12. I prefer open relationships
#Debunked
Sounds like you're gonna spend your rest of your life with him. <3 I am happy for you two
Ask me if i care.
Just pure organic Sex is what my wife and I love.
"1. He's so much larger."
Psychologists honestly need to study this topic more; we need a couple hundred studies testing if size matters. Otherwise, this is going to be one of the biggest unsolved mysteries of all time.
The misogyny is real!
thats cool mr didldo can pay for your dinner trolololol :P
lol that made me laugh hun
don't worry hun we don't need you either
THE FUTURE IS HERE!!!
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I like a girl proud of her dildo !
I must say that i would love to spend a day with trying to replce ur friend:p
From how you talk about that dildo I think I'd have more fun watching you use it than actually fucking you
12 reasons why I'm better than your dildo. I have emotions, feelings, strengths, joy, energy, victory, sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch and love.
it dont take out the bins though!
hey when ever I read stuff like this I get a felling in the pit of my stomach cuz I know every dildo ever made is bigger than me and I know that bigger means more pleasure to girls this is why I can't get girls I know how they really are and every time I look in her eyes I see it makes you wanna kill yourself srs