After reading the headline, many guys will probably ask themselves why they would seduce their girlfriend if they are already a couple.
The answer is simple. Unlike men whose sexual drive is rather physical, a woman's drive is mostly mental. Even though women also desire sexual activity, they need a certain level of stimulation for that desire to come by naturally. As guys, we want her to desire us and only us. And the best way to do that is to seduce her. This is what I call mental foreplay - creating the atmosphere and mood before the phsyical foreplay actually starts.
This does not mean a woman wants and needs to constantly be seduced. The point of it is to keep your sex-life healthy and active, as women have different needs and requirements than men. Just as there are times where a woman will enjoy her man making the effort to seduce her, other times things can progress into a simple, straight-forward quickie.
Note: While this is written purely from the male view-point, it should go without saying that the ladies out there should also put extra effort into seducing their boyfriends.
How to seduce your girlfriend?
The Warm-Up:
1. Spontaneity and Suspense. A certain level of spontaneity is required for good seduction. The moment the effort seems disingenuous, forced or just repetitive, the same old predictable habits will lose a lot of their effect. The aim is to sweep her off her feet, to create something special and to surprise her.
2. Going that extra mile. Going that extra mile for your partner is of utmost important. A relationship needs a certain level of care and nurture, hence so does its sex-life. Although stress and the rise of daily habits can make us forget about it, we should keep in mind that making our partner feel special and the chosen one is the best way to keep a relationship healthy.
3. Trust. For efficient seductionm trust is paramount. In order for a woman to give herself sexually to the fullest, she needs to have trust. Make her feel that it is ok for her to be sexual with you. Make her feel to be at ease, to be able to let herself fall and to give in to her desire.
4. Timing and Pace. Naturally such a thing requires a certain level of timing. It would be pointless to try to seduce your girlfriend while her grandmother just passed away. While that is an exaggeration, it simply is important to know when to actually seduce her. Pick times when she is more relaxed, happy and would be comfortable with you potentially surprising her.
Furthermore it is as important to know in which pace to seduce her. The very same actions can seem out of place when rushed.
The actual seduction:
5. Teasing, Playfulness and Wits. Sexuality and sexual tension does not need to be all-out serious. Enjoy each other's company, laugh with each other, have some quality banter leading to sexual innuendos. Simply have fun together.
For example: If your girl is bending over infront of you to pick something up, tease her that she is doing it to show off her bottom.
6. Make her feel desired and special without putting her on a pedestal. Just like how most men like their ego to be stroked, most women have a certain sense of narcissm. They want to be seen as attractive and sexually desired. It is part of their sexual needs and fulfilling those needs is a key cornerstone to making her feel sexually desirable and sexual desires.
7. Understand her. Most guys surely have heard it at least once in their life that women want a sensitive man. What most men and actually many women aren't aware of is that they don't mean a man who is crying like a little girl when watching their favourite soap opera. What women mean is that they want the guy to understand her and have a good sense of empathy for how she thinks and especially feels. She wants him to read her like an open book. She wants to feel naked without being naked.
8. Different sexual cues. It is important to understand that men and women have different sexual cues. Let's face it. To get a man aroused it is usually enough to create a visual appeal. Magazines like Playboy or plain and simple porn appeal to that. Women on the other hand have way more and also quite different sexual cues. A womans mind is her most erogenous zone. And the best way to sexually appeal to it is to make her imagine and feel. There is a reason why the main audience for porn are men while erotic novels are read by women. And those erotic novels at times are more steamy than the majority of porn out there.
9. Passion. This one should be obvious, but I will say it nonetheless. Be passionate. Show enthusiasm towards her. Remember how it was when things got heated the first time and how you were eager like a little child before opening his Christmas presents. Cherish and revive those feelings towards her with the way you look at, speak to and touch her.
10. Take charge and be assertive. You are seducing, so you are the one being active here. You want to seduce her, you want to have her, you want to take her. You should decide what you do and what pace you take. You should make it clear at one point where you want things to go to. And women enjoy that. Women want to feel like they can let go and let things happen. Letting go of the daily stress of having responsibilities and their subsequent pressures. Taking those away from her, through you being in charge, will make her a lot more willing to become sexual. Additionally it displays confidence and is generally seen as an attractive attribute when a man takes charge.
11. Touches. Don't expect to touch her hot-spot and for her to be ready to bang. While there are times and days that is actually true, often that is not the case. Instead all kinds of touches are appreciated. Physical touches and closeness create intimacy and comfort. Even the most mundane touches can eventually lead to sexual tension. From cuddling, tickling, wrestling to very subtle ones like “accidentally” brushing against her breasts.
12. Be creative and use what you have. Not all of the suggestions I gave here are perfectly fit for everyone. You should still be you and make the best out of it. If a rather serious guy suddenly starts goofing around it would create awkwardness rather than sexual tension. Instead seduction techniques should align with who you are. Additionally one should make use of the possibilities – especially the possibilities of technology. For example: Steamy texts starting an hour or two before she leaves work can make her arrive at home already in the perfect mood.
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