20 weeks and boyfriend isn't interested in having sex?

I know pregnancy changes a lot of things, but my boyfriend does not want to have sex with me like he used to. I've brought it up with him a couple times, and he says he's tired. In which I understand, but the more that time goes on, the more undesirable I feel. Am I doing something wrong?
1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • You'll need to sit down and have a conversation with him. Not just bring it up, actually sit down, get rid of all distractions, and talk it over.

    Part of it could be that he's afraid of hurting the baby. That's a huge fear most men have.

    And he could also be genuinely tired. Women on social media love to portray it as though pregnancy is all joy for the man while the woman is doing all of the suffering, but apart from deadbeats that's far from the truth. Most men will take on all of the overtime they can in preparation, or take on side gigs, or start doing the work of five men on a shift gunning for a raise or promotion. Even if he leaves the house and comes home at the same time as before he knew you were pregnant he could be putting in ten times the work in that same time to try to get ahead. Just because he's not the one growing the kid it doesn't mean that pregnancy isn't going to take a physical toll on him, and that usually manifests in exhaustion.

  • No.
    its a weird concept to many that there's A BABY IN THE SPACE HIS DICK GOES which can freak them out a bit (Of course its not actually the same space, but for their mentality it is.

    • I think you're right. I'll try to talk to him about it again later today. :)

Most Helpful Guys

  • Sounds like he has a problem with having sex with you while pregnant. Maybe the next time you go for a prenatal check up he should come with you, and you can raise the topic of sex during pregnancy. Maybe he just needs to hear from a professional that it's ok.

  • Nope but somthing is going 9n that u need yo address have u let him know its making u feel undesirable

    • I have 2 weeks ago and hasn't expressed any problem which makes me feel worse

    • @bigspooks 2 weeks is a long time. sit him down and mention it again then. Him just not wanting sex means NOTHING to do with you, especially if he hasn't said he has an issue. You have to remember at this time to take all your feelings and emotions with a grain or two of salt. Your hormones are all over the place.

    • Then I'm not really sure much more can be done simply because he won't admit there is 1 all although snake has it pretty close to how many guys view it

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I can't say you are doing something wrong, but my man has been (I'm ten weeks along) worried he is going to hurt the baby, I'm like no way man, unless you get violent your fine.

    I do understand the feeling of getting unattractive though, which might lead to feeling undesirable.

    • I'm going to take advantage of the pesky male traits of my mind to address this. Only the women think pregnancy makes them undesirable. A lot of men won't admit to it because of conditioning (for example, when I was little I couldn't even say a non pregnant actress wearing a fake belly on TV was cute without getting lectured), but pregnancy is when many men find women to be their most desirable. If your husband thinks your a 10 then by the end of the pregnancy he will be seeing you as a 50. We've gotten away from the natural order of survive, reproduce, thrive and being around a pregnant woman reawakens those primal instincts in men, even if their conscious mind has been conditioned to see pregnant women as untouchable or fears harming the baby.

  • Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable having sex with you while you are pregnant? Maybe he's tired from long hours at work? Maybe he's got a lot on his mind when he thinks about the future and needs time to himself? I'm sure he will come around eventually.
    But if he completely cuts ties with you after having your child, because postpartum can change a woman's body, then there's a huge problem there.

  • Its very important for pregnant women to get sex everyday so I'd tell him that you need it and hopefully he is understanding

  • Are you actually pregnant right now?

    • Yes. I'm 20 weeks along

    • @bigspooks Sorry I totally misread your question... I have to agree with what @snakeboop has mentioned.

  • It isn't you. It is all him

  • Make sure he's not having sex with anybody else...

  • No you have done nothing wrong. But you should talk to him on this topic on serious note cuz desire is important think which we can't ignore and can't control longer.

  • Maybe he just doesn't want sex while you're pregnant

  • sounds strange.

  • I think it’s all to do with the baby. You need to talk to him

  • Nope preg sex is awesome

  • It's hard to say what's going on in his head but it may have nothing to do with you. Is he stressed or depressed maybe?