Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
50 Shades of Grey: Biggest Selling Book of All Time
Excluding the Bible, 50 Shades of Grey is the biggest selling book of all time. Why? What’s all of the hype about? Well, have you read it? I have, and I gotta say… whew!
When I first read the book, I was dating a man who I was very attracted to, and our sex life was already incredible. However, after every chapter I completed, there was something inside of me that grew – and I had no idea how to stop it. It was a new kind of desire; desire I had never known before.
A Brief Synopsis
Firstly, if you haven’t read 50 Shades of Grey, that’s okay – I’m sure you know the premise. But, here’s a very, very basic synopsis:
Anastasia Steele interviews Christian Grey, an extremely successful Entrepreneur, for her college newspaper. Even though Christian’s attitude is cold and stand-offish, he feels an immediate sexual connection with Anastasia. After a couple of encounters, Christian reveals that he would like to have sex with Anastasia, but before they can, she must agree to a series of rules, and asks her to complete a non-disclosure agreement, agreeing never to discuss their BDSM lifestyle. Shy Anastasia falls in love with Christian, and her new sex life.
50 Shades of Grey Changed Everything
For some reason, the relationship between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele spoke to me in a way that completely surprised me. I had never thought of myself as someone into the world of BDSM, and honestly, I still don’t think I am. But, reading about his fantasies coming to life was exhilarating for me. I loved seeing the two connect on something as raw as their sexual desires, and in a way that I’m still not sure I understand, wrapping myself up in their relationship made me feel closer to my partner.
I discussed my reading of this book (and the way it made me feel) with my book club, as well as several of my closest girlfriends, and I found out something very intriguing: I wasn’t alone.
Just about every woman I talked to had a similar response to the book – some even discovered that they were fans of BDSM, and completely changed their sex lives to accommodate it. All of this got me thinking – how did this book change sex? And, why did it take something as simple as a 380-page book to light a fire inside of me? I asked around and started reflecting on my own sexual experiences since reading the book, and I came up with five ways 50 Shades of Grey changed sex for women.
1) Women Feel Empowered
To talk about sex, fantasies, fetishes, preferences, and everything in-between. Sex stopped being a “taboo” topic for women, and they began embracing their own sexual desires. I’m not saying every woman became wrapped up in the BDSM lifestyle, but it certainly piqued many women’s interest. In fact, after the book’s release, the sales of sex toys used in the book (handcuffs, riding crops, etc.) shot up 50%.
Gone are the days when women felt shameful for asking their partner to do something kinky like tie them up, blindfold them, or even lightly spank them.
Thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, women are rightfully feeling empowered to express themselves and their needs to their partner. Finally!
2) Women Are Curious
Even if the idea of BDSM turned a woman on while reading 50 Shades of Grey, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s wanting to fulfill that fantasy in the bedroom. It’s important to remember that sometimes what turns you on has nothing to do with what you’d like your sex life to include.
For example, I know many women who have said that they are aroused by the idea of lesbian sex, but would never want to actually have sex with another woman. I’m sure lots of women (men too!) can relate to this. But, after being exposed to BDSM and feeling turned on, women have become curious about other sex acts. After years of repressing their sexual fantasies and desires, women are finally asking themselves, “What have I been missing?”
3) Sex is More Powerful
Sure, sex has always been nice (some tend to enjoy it more than others), but has it really ever been “powerful”? Prior to 50 Shades of Grey, I would agree that most women would say “no.” The characters, storyline, and perfectly painted scenes of lust have provided couples with the power to totally transform their sex lives.
With the imagery of 50 Shades of Grey in a woman’s head during sex, she feels like a powerful force to be reckoned with in the bedroom. She can guarantee that her needs are met, and she can ask for things she never even knew she wanted without feeling judged or ridiculed.
50 Shades of Grey made it okay for a woman to be powerful in the bedroom – even as a submissive partner. The power comes from knowing you’re satisfying yourself and your partner, no matter what sexual fantasy you’re living.
4) Sex is More Open
With women feeling empowered to express themselves and their needs to their partners, it’s only natural that sex has opened up the doors of communication. Feeling more open during sex is great for both women and men, as it brings couples closer together.
As I started talking to my friends about this point, one of them said to me, “If you can’t be open and honest in the bedroom, why even bother with sex?” This question spoke to my soul, and honestly, prompted my entire reasoning behind writing this #myTake.
If you’re being intimate with your lover, but don’t feel comfortable enough to be truly open about your desires, then one of two things is happening:
- You’re with the wrong partner.
- You’re ashamed of your desires.
The relationship between Christian and Anastasia in 50 Shades of Grey demonstrates many things, but most importantly, it tells women that it is perfectly healthy to embrace their sexual needs. The message has been heard loud and clear.
5) Sex is Better!
Obviously, when women feel more open towards sex, curious about their sexual desires, and empowered to make their fantasies a reality, sex just gets better. Men love women who radiate confidence – especially in the bedroom, but just as much, women love finally feeling free enough to explore the sex life they’ve been missing out on.
BONUS: 50 Shades of Grey Movie Trailer
If you haven’t already heard, 50 Shades of Grey is being made into a movie! The official release date is Valentine’s Day, 2015. Watch the super steamy trailer below.
In Conclusion…
Women of all ages read and loved 50 Shades of Grey, and in my experience, I’ve found that most of the readers got a different message from the book. For me, the messages were clear: be yourself in the bedroom, and don’t let anyone stop you from taking your pleasure to a whole new level.
Ladies, you’re in charge of your sexuality – start embracing it. If you need a jump start, read 50 Shades of Grey ;)
What Girls & Guys Said
11 15Women just need to see yes more often
Great article, josie. Well written and accurate.
I think it's humorous how it has suddenly become fashionable to criticize the 50 Shades books and deny their power even though they were a huge sensation among women, enough so that a movie is being made about them.
Sadly, politics always seem to overpower reality.
Here's what will happen with the movie. Individual women will criticize it but they will flock to see it in droves and gladly pay the cost of admission.
I still think BDSM p*rn is far better. And did far more for me than a book could ever do. p*rn and communication with men has taught me far more than a book could ever. I think I'll watch the movie though, I'm not a fan of reading sexual things but I'm a fan of watching them.
Your My Take is really well written... However, as someone who's obsessed with the extremely perverted Japanese Hentai p*rn , this whole 50 Shades of Gray idea really makes me wished everyone just stayed Makeout Whores instead of making everything so complex!