Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
These are a few things I wish I knew or was told back when I was 14; the age I started dating. I was naive to a lot of things; I didn't know people abused their partners and I'd always believe everything a guy told me, then be shocked when it wasn't the truth. I'm hoping this might help younger girls to realise that this stuff does happen and it can happen to you.
Disclaimer: I am aware that not all guys are like what are stated below. Potential triggers.
1. They will lie to you.
Everybody lies and unfortunately, that includes the guy you love with all your heart. You can't believe everything they say, but that doesn't mean you can call them a liar all the time - just be cautious and keep your wits about you.
2. Some will abuse you.
It's hard to believe that someone you love and someone who supposedly loves you could abuse you but it happens a lot. It's easy to say it won't happen to you but it can happen subtly, so it's always good to be aware of the red flags of abuse before you start a relationship. Being aware and knowledgeable is your best protection.
A lot of young girls fall into this trap I find. It may feel nice that he "cares" about you, but it's not right if he's "protecting" you from everyone, isolating you and/or telling where you can and can't go.
3. Trust your instincts.
If something a guy says or does doesn't feel right to you, even if you don't know why, then there's a good chance there's something not right there and you should trust your gut feelings. This could apply to anyone.
4. There's a 90% chance he fancies his female best friend.
In my experience, this has been the case and is often why women don't like their boyfriends having female best friends. However, you have no right to control who he talks to or befriends. It's something you just have to accept.
5. Guys can be disloyal.
No matter how much they tell you that they feel strongly about loyalty and that they could never cheat, don't believe it 100%. Not everything someone tells you is true and unfortunately, being cheated on is almost inevitable nowadays but it's not worth your time worrying about it.
6. Sexual Assault
Rape and sexual assault can and does happen in relationships. It is no different to a stranger doing it to you and it does not mean they love you and really are attracted to you, no matter what they say, it's wrong. Coercing someone into sex through blackmail, continuous pestering (despite saying no), trickery or playing of emotions, is also considered sexual assault, yet it does not get spoken about enough. Consent isn't black and white.
A guy pestering you to have sex continuously until you decide to say yes, JUST to shut him up, is still not consent. This issue may arise as young boys will be interested in sex and want to do it a lot, so they may give you the cold shoulder if you refuse (emotional manipulation) or keep begging for sex for over an hour and will not talk about anything else. In short, you should only have to say "no" once and that be the end of it.
Relationships take a lot of work and aren't easy, especially for young teenagers who have little knowledge about it all or the true tendencies of human beings. It's always helpful to be knowledgeable before entering into a relationship and I hope this gives some insight to young girls.
What Girls & Guys Said
11 2814 ? Most 14 year old guys are innocent AF , I didn''t know what sex was when I was 14.
They're not innocent, I can tell you now.
Coercing someine into sex through saying if u love me you'll do it isn't wrong in the end u still did it.
Look up sexual coercion.
This one isn't wrong its letting the person know he had options and revealing the true colors of that person. Its fucked up becuade she 14 which is why I think kids should date when there 16-17 when there brains grows 1. Play on the fact that you’re in a relationship, saying things such as: “Sex is the way to prove your love for me” or “If I don’t get sex from u I’ll get it somewhere else” 2. Give insincere compliments to get what u want. 3. Give you compliments that sound extreme or insincere as an attempt to get you to agree to something 4. Badger you, yell at you or hold you down Give you drugs and alcohol to loosen up your inhibitions 5. React negatively (with sadness, anger or resentment) if you say no or don’t immediately agree to something 6. Continue to pressure you after you say no Make you feel threatened or afraid of what might happen if you say no 7. Try to normalize their sexual expectations: ex. “I need it, I’m a
There nothing wrong with letting your option be known. Like if she say I wanna wait 6 month for sex just tell her this is were we say good bye I have other options. Now if she chases you down and say well maybe we can go four months. That her fault that she did that. In the case of 18-21 year not a 14 year old Woman are resbai
I agree with them for the most part but i just wanna say in regards to #3, i was in a relationship with someone who seemed to argue about every little thing that she felt was wrong. Ill say yeah trust your instincts, but make 100% sure before you escalate it into a big deal.
1-5 apply at least as much to girls. 6 doesn't only because of physiology.
Men are such pigs
People do these things because of the lack of wisdom and compassion, not because they are male or female. Write another take when you grow up a little more, you're clearly still not done.
I understand they lack wisdom or experience and that's why they do it. It's simply a warning to others.
You did direct this at guys though. Let's be honest
I guess females can't lack experience, wisdom or compassion.
thanks for the Disclaimer I am aware that not all guys are like what are stated below. LOL but u can say the same things about girls but then again some guys can be assholes agreed. sorry dudes.
I only said it because I know GaG. Guys would say I'm brainwashing young girls into thinking all guys are nasty, horrible things etc.
i know it's cool, but like I know u are trying to warn how bad , guys can be but like it doesn't have a positive effect.
You are generalizing all men in the same way. Thats not true and good. And life is very funny. Girl rejects good guy and date with bad ones. After good guys becomes also cheater and don't like girls who want to find real love. This is the results of girls behaviours. And unfortunately life is like that.
That's nice.
Boys suck in their teen years. Avoid dating until you're 18, because they tend to be jerks at that time.
There are also dumbfucks, who are 18 years old or older, that would still behave so immature.
You look young aren't you 16 now?
I'm 21 as my profile says.
a 14 year old shouldn't be worrying about relationships at all and shouldn't be involved in them
and the above reasons are just a few reasons as to why...
The simplest advice i'd give my 14 year old self is to ignore girls who don't want to touch your dick right away. Life would have been so much better. And no issues about 'am I supposed to let her know i'm miserable, or is that coersive manipulation of her feelings'? I wasn't even looking for intercourse at that age (or hookups) I just wanted a girlfriend who I could love who'd love me and we could fool around.
Women lie just as often if not more than men.
Women abuse equally to men.
There is a 100% chance your male friends are trying to fuck you.
Girls are just as disloyal as men.
Women sexually assault women at an equal rate as males assault women.
But when female to male assault is ignore and excused, it's easy to believe it's only a male thing.
This isn't a war of the genders, it's what I wish I knew when I was 14. Don't get so hissy about it.
Not hissy at all... simply pointing out how high your horse is.
It's a beautiful horse.
It IS a lovely horse. I have to disagree with you about the girl who finally says yes. While on one should pester anyone else repeatedly for sex (its rude), the boys are not at fault if she finally says yes to sex. Their knowledge of how to act is not perfect, just as her knowledge of how to act is imperfect.
Wow. This post implies that the author learned everything the hard way.
OP, if you have gone through all of these things, then you should be proud that you are one brave woman.
I agree with #4. I get very suspicious when a guy has a female best friend. In my mind, I immediately associate that female friend as girlfriend, no questions asked.
I also agree with #6. I am not going to have pre-marital sex with anybody. Anybody who asks for sex raises a red flag for me, and I may just end the relationship right there if that person persists in the question. I am preserving my virginity until marriage. Contrary to popular opinion, sex is not a need. If anybody "needs" sex, then that would not be compatible with my lifestyle.
Stop being bitter and a misandrists.
Stop making assumptions before you even read the disclaimer.
If a guy pesters you for sex and you say yes that is actually consent. He asked you for sex and you said yes. If thats not consent then I dont know what is. Still doesn't make it right though but its not rape.
"Sometimes, it even falls within the realm of rape; studies have documented that victims of sexual coercion can suffer from anxiety, depression, and PTSD at rates similar to to those who have experienced sexual violence. But because there is so little public knowledge about sexual coercion, many women who have been sexually coerced might not even be aware that what happened to them qualifies as sexual assault, and may instead blame themselves for their trauma."
Yes it might cause problems but it is still not rape. If verbal consent is given before and during and the woman/man is of legal age it is not rape. if someone went to the police and said "he pestered me and I gave in, thats rape" they wouldn't take it seriously and it wouldn't even make it to court. (Quite rightly since its a waste of time and money)