A Cautionary Tale: I Dated a Unhygienic Person

[Allyisabich]

Back in Sophomore year of college, I met this really hot guy at a party on campus. I was nervous but approached him after some prodding from one of my best friends. We talked for a while and things seemed to be going well! He asked for my number and I gave it to him and went our separate days for the night. Long story short, I went on a couple of dates with him around town and things were incredible. Things started to become more serious, and I was really excited.

Things started to get weird around 2 months in. One day, we agreed to meet up at a nicer restaurant in the downtown area near campus. I got dressed up and I remember spending a solid hour on myself in the mirror. I got there like a minute before him and waited inside. When he arrived, I came towards him to give him a hug. That's when it hit me.

All at once, this powerful smell punched me in the face. To this day, I can't think of many things smellier. I can only describe it as week-old, stale body odor, nasty, old cheese lying in the sun, and hints of garbage. Like, the stink was just radiating off him.

If only it was socially acceptable to hold my nose in public like this!

I tried my best to hold my gag reflex back and went along with the date. I didn't want to call him out at the place because that'd be embarrassing. But, I couldn't really think of anything except the horrid stench wafting towards me. Did other people smell him? Did I smell like it now too after the hug? We eat (or at least I try to) and I decide to end it early. He wants another hug and kiss, and at the time I figured I'd just put up with it, so I brace my nose for impact and give him a goodbye hug.

I get home totally grossed out and confused about what was up. Up to this point, he had always smelled great, fantastic even. I take off my cute outfit I put so much effort in and realized that yup, I smelled like armpit too after the hug. I cringe and die a little inside. After that, I decided to confront him over text. I said something like, "hey. Your hygiene seemed a little off, is everything good on your end?" He apologized and assured me that he was working out before he came and maybe just smelt a little still. I figured it made sense, since he was really adamant about going to the gym everyday. I decided to let it go. However, things slowly deteriorated from here on out.

I'd see him everyday around campus, and the stink started occuring more frequently. First, once every few weeks, once a week, then a couple times a week. I don't really know what was going on in my head. I loved and him and he had the best personality of any guy I've ever met even today. I believed I could make it work or that it would get better. I kept bringing it up, now even in person sometimes. He'd look vaguely offended and accuse me of being inconsiderate. He's just going to the gym for his HEALTH after all. By the 5 month mark, I've grown really fed up with it. He almost always visits me smelling like an entire locker room full of sweaty guys. Things are on its last legs. But nothing could have prepared me or my nose for what was about to happen.

Some context. I lived in a single person dorm on campus and this guy lived a bit further off campus in an apartment. Due to the proximity to our classes and other common hangouts, we always stopped back at my place afterwards and not his. But being fed up with his stench, I started to get irritated with that too. Why did we always have to go back to my place? I asked if we could stop at his house next time we were out. He seemed reluctant, but with enough pushing he agreed. This would become the worst day of my love life.

I showed up at his apartment, a pit in my stomach. Our relationship was failing and I knew it. Something told me this would somehow respark things. It didn't.

He opens the door to let me in and a gust of air rushes towards me. Pure body odor fills my nostrils. I legitimately became dizzy because the stench was so foul. At that moment, I knew the relationship was over. But I decided to stay, for the sweet sweet tea I could tell my friends later lol. I walk in and take my coat and shoes off. He comes for a hug and kiss, and I accept. It's the least of my worries at this point. His apartment was COMPLETELY trashed. It was 4 rooms: a kitchen and dining area, a living room, a bedroom, and a bathroom.

I'll give a description of each. The kitchen had various food stains all over the floor, countertop, and even the walls! Don't even know how it got there? All he had on the counter was a scummy, old microwave caked in splatters of previous meals. The stovetop looked covered in grease. He had all of his pantry doors wide open. In the center were two completely overflowing trashbags that desperately needed to be taken out. They perfumed the air with the delicate scent of rotting food. He made us ramen for dinner which I barely touched. Even the bar chairs we sat on were broken. One leg was tapes back on. He made me sit in that one...

The living room had a small tv on a desk that was repurposed as a table. The couch was littered with food crumbs and surrounded by empty soda cans. Not too much to say here other than there was a giant purpleish stain covering at least a 3 by 3 ft area.

The bedroom was the main source of the stink. His bed looked disgusting. There were like pit stains on his sheets and maybe even cum stains? I shit you not, the entire floor was covered in filthy, sweaty, reeking clothes. Some were ones I've seen him wear before. I don't know how he slept in such a rank place.

I bit my tongue. I resolved to hold off till the end of the night and break it off with tact and grace. Then, I had to use the bathroom.

Oh God, the bathroom. Girl, I can't even begin to describe the smell when I entered the bathroom. He kept the door closed at all times, and I know why. He didn't want the smell flooding through the house. I guess shit stink was his limit? It was just really concentrated shit smell. Like someone threw you into a vat full of shit. I started coughing and holding back vomit, and I hear the fucker laughing. Wtf! The shower was covered in scum. There was no soap or shampoo in the shower, so I guess I know why he stunk. And the grand finale. The toilet was completely covered with shit. Inside the bowl, and some outside too. I couldn't even sit down to use it without touching it. There were dead insects on the ground too, probably eating it. At this point, I lost it. I came out swearing and calling him gross and much worse things than that. I break up with him and storm out. I get home and feel completely disgusting. I had to shower like three or four to get the entire stink off. I smelt horrendous for the next day and a half. Good thing it was the weekend and could stay home. I had a friend visit me to comfort me after the break up and thought I had farted when really, I just reeked of his signature scent of poop and armpit. That stank will cling to you.

I learned after through some of the guys reluctant friends that he always had a hygiene problem and had many girls eventually break up with him when he starts let it go or go to his apartment.

I often wonder what could have been if he didn't choose to be such a stinky motherfucker. Maybe we'd still be together? It sucks, but what can you do.

What are your thoughts? What would you have done? Have you ever dated someone with bad hygiene?

Let this serve as a warning. Do NOT tolerate bad hygiene in a partner. They won't change. They'll only get worse.