Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I don't know about others, but I felt anxious about sex for a long time. That's why I was a virgin until just recently, and I'm already twenty-three. I had many chances but for some reason didn't want to do it. Then a few months ago I met a guy I clicked with instantly. We flirted and had sexual tension from the moment we met - perhaps that had to do with the fact that we met at a tango scene, one of the sexiest places you could meet someone. Things with him have flowed very smoothly and quickly, which is unusual for a girl to let happen, I know - I'll be discussing this matter in a second.
On that note, here are some tips for first-timers. I don't expect everyone to agree with all of these, I'm just writing from experience with the hopes that this guide will help virgins gain knowledge about and prepare for their first time.
1. Find a guy/girl, preferably human. Sex dolls do not count as a first time.
2. Develop sexual tension from early in the relationship.
You must be thinking, "hell no! What is this girl talking about?" But I mean it. Compared to my past non-sexual relationships, doing this built a stable base for my relationship. If you start getting physical right away, you can skip all the petty phases and unnecessary stress you have to go through - do I hold his/her hand now? Should I kiss her again, or is once in one night enough? Would she feel uncomfortable going to the pool for our next date? As for me, once I'd start to really like someone it would be completely pure and I wouldn't be able to imagine myself having sex with them - I don't know if anyone else has experienced this. Well, fuck all that. Make out, let him or her touch you, even let them touch you down there. If you want each other, just go for it. Stop worrying about "are we moving too fast?" I say there's no such thing. If the moment feels right and you're both in the mood, by all means go ahead. I actually recommend it because a sexy relationship is the best relationship in my opinion. If it's just a fling, then this first tip obviously applies.
3. Warn him or her that you're a virgin.
I don't say this for the advantage of your love interest, I say this for you. The reason is because I've seen guys who ditch a girl after finding out she's a virgin. I'm not sure why - you men probably know - perhaps they want someone who knows what they're doing in bed. But virgins can learn fast, so I think if someone being a virgin is a turn off for you then he/she's just a douche (yes, women can be douches too). Which is why you should tell them early on - just don't say it out of the blue while you're at a fancy French restaurant drinking posh rosé and eating escargots.
4. Make sure he uses protection and/or you're on birth control.
DON'T BE LIKE ME, KIDS. My partner and I have agreed that we'd do it without protection for a quarter of the way, then he'd put on the rubber hat. That's what we've been doing. My friends say he's an ass for doing that, but I want to give him the best sexual experience, which is why I let him do it. BUT DON'T COPY ME - especially if you're younger than twenty-one and/or don't want to get pregnant. But IF you plan on being reckless like me, if he's a guy make sure he doesn't have STD.
5. Have your first time with someone with sexual experience.
I almost lost my v-card with a virgin, but I'm glad I didn't! Who knows what could have happened to me! I think it's important that one person knows what they're doing because sex isn't a simple matter - it takes caution. Things could go wrong if you're both novices. It would be like learning to drive from someone who's watched YouTube tutorials about driving but has never actually driven before. How scary would that be?
6. Don't be picky but also don't settle for a random person.
I almost lost it with a random guy because I was so sick and insecure about being a twenty-three year old virgin, but I'm glad I didn't do it! On the other hand, when I was younger I was really picky with my men and wanted the perfect guy to have my first time with - well, that's also dumb. Don't under-think nor overthink it. I found someone I knew I could eventually like, or at least feel comfortable having sex with, and I'm really glad he was my first. Now I actually like him a lot and I plan to give him an answer about making things official (I put him on hold because my mom wasn't approving, but now she has).
7. Be open-minded about oral sex.
I never thought I'd want to do it but I did in that moment, and I think I'll really be enjoying it once I get the hang of it. So I ATTEMPTED to give him my first blowjob last time and failed miserably. He was nice about it but I know I kind of killed the sexual vibe at that moment, particularly when I started laughing and said, "I don't know what I'm doing." Anyway, I never thought I'd be comfortable with oral but it's actually not that bad if you're attracted to the person. So stay open-minded about it rather than completely shutting down the idea if it's brought up.
Lastly, I have an issue I'd appreciate some help with:
Can't orgasm. I'm still figuring this out. He tells me to relax, "let it build", etc. but I haven't been able to orgasm yet. I asked about this and people said it's on him if I can't, but I can't help but feel bad that we've had sex a couple times now and I still haven't experienced an orgasm yet. Any advice from people with more experience will help. Thanks!
Happy...sex life!
What Girls & Guys Said
29 46I'm sorry but the whole "don't fuck a virgin." doesn't really fly with guys. Girls can demand experienced partners, guys who aren't experienced are pressured to pretend that they are experienced. "Who knows what would have happened to me!" are you serious or just joking?
Orgasm is more about your mental focus you need be thinking hard on it and concentrate is the only way
I have only ever heard the exact opposite i am suddenly conflicted
Most women don't climax from penetration, you also have to focus stimulating your clitoris. He should also be performing oral not just making you do all of it.
"Sex dolls do not count as a first time" Well dammit! Why ya gotta ruin my fun? I finally felt accomplished. FINALLY! And the alas, I read this, and the loneliness storm over my head that had went away if only for a MOMENT... came right back. All your fault! :p
Haha! I didn't write that people shouldn't use sex dolls. You're lucky if you have one! Haha! But it doesn't count as a first time. ;)
Well damn. Damn it all. I'm done. Imma go to my sex doll. And Imma have a very good time. ANd Im gonna feel like I had sex knowing its fake as I cry myself to sleep whilst fucking it. thanks :P
Well, as long as you enjoy yourself, I guess. Haha
From experience and I’m posting this anonymous because I will get followed for it if you know what I mean.
First off go slow, have him see if he can feel your orgasm and go from there and have him point out if he can feel them to ask you. Always remember take your time
This worked for me. Best of luck 🙃
#5 is so stupid omg
#5 not necessary.
You met a guy, at a "ballroom dance scene". you sure he's not gay?
haha. Imm sure. we have mutual friends who have known him for longer than I have and they've told me everything i need to know.
you're sure?
Uh, I have many guy friends in my tango club who are definitely not gay and my tango instructor is married to a woman.
"guy friends" LMAO
Before you loose get yourself a spiritual check to evaluate who you are and who you want to become. Your life will never be the same after a first time.
Sex is not a game ;)
I'm going to have to disagree with a lot of this take or more so the reasoning behind the tips, but I absolutely agree with having a condom and birth control.
Here, the " just be yourself" concept works well.
It's disgusting how people take "tips" from the "internet"
Please, Internet, let us have our own experience... No need to give "tips"