Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
First, some background about myself... I hope I don't regret going public with this, but I feel compelled to tell my story as a way of not living in shame anymore.
I was born with a rare pituitary disorder. My body produces a VERY small amount of testosterone on its own. As a result, I was born with a very small penis and undescended testes. Thankfully, I was diagnosed at birth. Despite treatment, I am still below the average in penis size (4 inches in length, and 4 inches in girth).
When I was around 11 or 12, I discovered pornography by accidentally winding up on a pay-per-view adult television channel. It was scrambled, but I could hear and see enough to make it worth watching. I became obsessed with it, and began to seek it out on the internet as well. One thing that is burned into memory is hearing one of the women saying “Oh God, it’s so f***ing big!” I was overweight in my teens due to not receiving my hormones regularly (I fought my parents because I hated needles). My insecurity about my weight caused me to be withdrawn socially. My penis size never really bothered me then, because relationships weren’t on my radar.
Once I started getting my hormones regularly at the age of 19, I lost weight, played sports, and became fit. It was during that time that I realized just how small my penis was. I once bought a pack of regular condoms (after stalking the pharmacy wall, ashamed to even been seen looking at them). They were so loose that they were pointless to wear. I became so disillusioned that I swore off of sex. I began to hate women for wanting bigger penises. I even hated other men for being bigger than me (presumably).
I was still addicted to pornography, which continued to fuel my self-loathing. The only men who were my size (who were rare to find) were being humiliated by women in the videos. The most painful ones for me involved seeing women pull down a man's pants, revealing a huge penis, and watching her reaction. I know that I'll never have a woman react that way. It's a big reason for why I am still a virgin. All I could see was that any woman who pulled my pants down would be disappointed or even disgusted.
I spent YEARS in therapy, but I continued to hate myself and hate the world. I don’t really remember where it started turning around, but I finally started accepting myself. Coming back to religion helped. I met a woman who was as inexperienced as me, and we are happily engaged. I still worry sometimes, but I trust her that she won’t judge me for my shortcomings.
Now, moving on to why I wrote this Take. People on GaG often bemoan the amount of penis size questions. Yes, some of them are trolls… “I’m 8 inches, is that small?” Some of them, however, are people like me who have genuine concerns over whether or not we can actually give pleasure to a woman.
For reference, here is a diagram showing the volumes of three penises. One like mine (4”x4”), an average one (6”x5”), and the much-heralded 8”x6” one.
One inch of length may not seem like that big of a deal, but an inch of girth is a significant difference in volume. Even an average man can feel insecure when he hears that a woman he likes prefers an 8"x6".
The reason why so many men are insecure is because so much is said about size being important in our society. From “Sex and the City” to Australian ads featuring women holding up their pinkies to ridicule men who speed, we are bombarded with the message that “bigger is better.” Jokes about small penises are seen as hilarious by both men and women, and if someone speaks up, they are laughed down and accused of having a small penis. It seems as if men with small penises are the only group that doesn’t have protection from harassment and mockery. Try telling a mean-spirited joke about any other minority group, and see what happens.
Please try to understand that men with small penises are human beings just like you, and we have feelings like everyone else. We didn’t choose our size, just like you didn’t choose to be average or large.
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