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A non-Islamic view on ritual purification (Wudû’, Ghusl) in Islam

I'm one of the many people on this planet in an interreligious relationship.

Disclaimer: I don't know as much as I'd like about Islam. If anything I wrote here offends or upsets you or is simply wrong, please tell me in the comments!

My boyfriend was born into a Muslim family, though he doesn't practice most aspects of the religion (e.g. he doesn't pray or fast). I was raised in a highly conservative, fundamentalist Christian family.

A non-Islamic view on ritual purification (Wudû’, Ghusl) in Islam

I have since made the choice to leave my religion because I personally identify it as a high control group and no longer want to be under the impression that my relationship is a sin.

A non-Islamic view on ritual purification (Wudû’, Ghusl) in Islam

At the beginning of our relationship, we started showering with one another, and I quickly noticed that something about the way my boyfriend cleaned himself was different.

As we got more and more intimate with one another and also started to have first sexual encounters that led to him having an orgasm (ejaculation means Ghusl is required), he told me about Ghusl and showed me how he performs it.

I was and still am pretty bewildered that you do most steps 3 times, that you have to start Ghusl/Wudû' with the intention of purifying your body and nothing else (ot it's not valid) and that it's required to be considered clean and pure again (though I know that in the Old Testament, men are also considered unclean after ejaculating).

I like how clean my boyfriend is after Ghusl or Wudû'. I think it's a shame that nobody educated me about ritual purification in Islam until I reached my 20s.

I don't like the fact that he deems it necessary to clean himself in this special way after he ejaculates, I thhin it creates a bad feeling associated with sex.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know what you're talking about. Lol.
    This thing is to be done before prayer. Which you said is the special way of cleaning "wudu". The 3 times bla bla bla..

    I am sorry I am just laughing so hard 😂, because what is meant in Islam as I learned in school, is for a person to shower. Which called "Ghusl". It's just to shower. It's just you won't have your prayer or fasting.. Etc. accepted unless you shower if you had ejaculated. Same for women. And if you shower, wash yourself from head downwards then you don't have to do "wudu" the special 3 times stuff.

    It's not even necessarily afterwards. Unless you're praying 5 times a day. Then of course you'll do it quickly cuz clock is ticking for next prayer. But if he does not pray or fast as you said then what the fuck is he doing 😂 especially showering with you and still doing "wudu". Next time just slap him on the head and tell him: an agnostic kafir from the internet is telling you "bitch you need to learn about Islam all over again" 😂😂🤣

    • I sometimes get annoyed when he acts all religious performing Ghusl or Wudu and my boobs are literally in his face lol. I think Ghusl is a very through shower, I like that the nose and ears and feet are cleaned - that's something people generally tend to forget about where I live :(

    • Well yeah. Slap him with your boob on the head tell him what he is doing is pointless. Tell him this is fucking it's not Umra. Shower like a sane man and cut the shit. Lol

    • And sure.. I appreciate your interfaith cultural tolerance and understanding it's really beautiful. 👍👍

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a Muslim the only thing that holds me back regarding Ghusl is my hair. So every time I want to do the nasty with my partner I’ve got to ruin my hair!!! But yes I’m a proud Muslim. We have a beautiful religion despite what the mainstream media makes it out to be.

    • Yeah, must be strange to have to get every body part wet each time :D Are you two married? I'm always confused when muslims like the pink anon that commented and @mah_abdullah demand full compliance with the rules but my boyfriend always says that Islam is more about love and living a good life.

    • Also, what's your favourite part about Islam?

    • The first rule highlighted in Islam and by the Quran explores intention. Aka every deed we decide to do is guided by our intention and accepted by God according to our intention. So I totally agree with your boyfriend in that Islam is more about love and living life. My favourite part about Islam is that God is all-forgiving. Everything can be forgiven and it makes me wonder if God is all-forgiving who am I as a human not to be.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • The attraction and love that hap[pens after sex is laying and holding each other and the smell that connects the love but if the man gets up right away and washes you won't get that same love connection. This is why couples who dont have sex break up!

    • I agree! He never gets up and showers lol, I send him off when the masculine smell turns into a dumpster smell :D

    • For reference, he sweats A LOT when we have sex.

  • You're confused.

    You BOTH need to perform ghusl (plus ablution) if you have sexual contact. The wudu is for purification on top of that.

    Best bet is to speak to you local imams wife. She'll explain it better.

    • I'm not muslim.

  • Im learning myself. The one person i know who may know more than me is my loving friend @spidermanfan2002 she is awesome.

  • As a muslim I'm surprised that he do wudu even though he doesn't pray...

    • Me too tbh

    • lol...

  • If you decide to be a muslim one day you will have to perform ghusl as a purification of not being a muslim, that is the second case of this ghusl performance, the third case is purifying the dead the same way.. but ghusl and wudu are different two things, both of them are purification..

  • Sex is haram, so why does ghusl take?

    • Sex isn't haram, premarital sex is. In Islam, all sins can be forgiven.

    • The person asking the question had sex outside of marriage. All sins are forgiven, but there are conditions. For example, after realizing it, not doing it again.

    • All sins can be forgive but we need to make effort my dear as Muslims it is stated that there will be amongst Muslims who will beg God to come back to earth to fix things but God will say you had your chance.

  • Yes so if a man has a wet dream or he masturbates and cums or has sex with ejaculation or not if the penus head completely enters her vagina he needs to ghusl himself he must wash he's entire body ghusl is major impurity ritual

    Wudu is minor impurity ritual like if he farts he must renew wudu Ghusl and wudu us needed for salah.

  • oh man, you found a man. seriously it's rare to find good Muslim guy like him.

    • Explain pls

  • Why are you with this guy?

    • Love :) Affection :) Comfort :) Why is anyone with anyone?

    • Cause they match. They're a good match.

  • I would never date a Muslim man but... Good for you I guess...

    • Why not if I may ask?

    • @so_over_this They have a bad view of women, way more than other men

    • What do you exactly mean by a bad view?

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  • Sooooo he has zina but takes ghusl?

    • And he doesn't even pray or fast😂🤣😂 Then why does he need to be cean 🙄🙄🙄

    • @mAh_Abdullah clearly its not like that A or B only. you doing the right thing can lead you the straight path , if you are weak in aspects or doing something wrong doesn't mean you leave the right entirley but instead you should try your best to do the right stuff which might lead you to the straight path, him doing ghusl is a good thing , the other stuff obiously a sin and bad but doesn't mean the right thing for him not to do ghusl.

  • If sex a sin then why commit it at first place then

    • True

    • have you heard of humans not perfect? many other things are sins but humans still do it. that doesn't mean you dont do the right things too just because you committed a sin

    • Have heard of two faced people who change their ideologies as per situation, they are people without balls and they shouldn't misguide others in the name of religion

  • Sex is pure but the act itself isn't clean, people need to clean themselves, that's the whole idea of this ghusl.

    In islam everything is done in the name of Allah and our deeds should be done for what Allah wants that's why we wash three times.

    Sex in Islam is pure and mandatory between a husband and wife but outside of marriage it's considered impure which means garam (forbidden)

    • Haram'

    • I know that premarital sex is haram, it's just that we're both extremely sexually repressed as is and constantly talking about how our love is a sin doesn't make that better. It's always easy to judge, but I can't even count the number of times I cried because he got a hard on and I felt bad about myself and making him horny :)

    • Only Allah judges, I'm just a warshiper. I think you know what Allah says about this, the rest is on you.

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