Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Preface
This is part 2 you can read part 1 here Sex, sluts and relationships
It has come to my attention that there were obviously some flaws in the way I wrote part 1 but since I am still new at this I ask that you bare with me. I welcome all criticism as long as it has valid reasoning behind it. This myTake will go into far more detail than the previous one and will respond to the most common criticisms of my views.
I would like to thank everyone that liked myTake for their support.
I have decided to get off anonymous posting so that you guys can follow me.
For those of you that are haters I ask that you do not message me if you do not agree with my views.
Let's begin
I'll first start by defining some terms to make sure we are all on the same page.
What is a monopoly?
The exclusive possession or control of something.
Usually this refers to a business but in this case it is the access to sex.
Now let's define sex. It was actually quite difficult to find an all encompasing definition for, since there are many different types of sex so the closest definition I could find is this
Any physical contact between two individuals involving stimulation of the genital organs
Now as we all know in order for two individuals to have sex, there must be consent.
The definition of consent is this
Give permission for something to happen
In the case of sex, women hold a monopoly over it's access and must give consent in order for a man to receive it since men tend to want sex more.
According to WebMd "The majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day, reports Laumann. Only about one-quarter of women say they think about it that frequently. As men and women age, each fantasize less, but men still fantasize about twice as often".
Now you're probably thinking "Where are you going with this? Are you saying women should be raped?".
No of cource not!!!!!!!!!!
Here is where promiscuity comes in.
What is promiscuity?
Promiscuity is having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.
Promiscuious women fulfil a much needed desire in men which is definitely better than masturbating. Now I'm not saying that these women are doing men a favour by sleeping with them because they ENJOY IT TOO. There are women that are just as horny as men and don't care for the finess of getting someone in bed.
The people that don't care for all this "sex is about love" stuff and just want to enjoy sex are called sociosexually unrestricted.
I'd like to thank @gray_sailor for bringing this to my attention. I hope you don't mind that I copy paste what you wrote since I think you did a really good job explaining it.
What is sociosexual orientation?
Its a person's internally determined attitude toward casual sex.
There are two designations for sociosexual orientation :
- sociosexually restricted
- sociosexually unrestricted
Sociosexually unrestricted individuals:
- start having sex at a younger age
- engage in sexual activity earlier in a relationship
- engage in casual sex
- view sex as a purely physical act (sex is just sex)
- tend to not form attachments with their sexual partners
- have relatively higher partner counts
- have no concern for their partner's number of past partners
Sociosexually restricted individuals on the other hand:
- hold the romantic view of sex (sex is an intimate act with emotional, spiritual & physical components)
- strongly prefer sex inside a committed relationship
- routinely form attachments with their sex partner (and value that this happens)
- regard casual sex as missing something essential
- have relatively low partner counts
- desire that their sexual partners have a similar number of past partners and that they hold the same values with regard to sex
Now here comes the part where I will step on a lot of toes. :P
The sociosexually unrestricted view of sex is the way of the future.
Nowadays women are more open about their sexual desires and tend to have more casual sex partners. This works out to the benefit of both men, who are finally able to get sex without commitment and women who also just want to have fun without being attached to a man. This does not however mean that promiscuous individuals have sex with anyone. Everybody has there own standards on who they will sleep with. This hedonistic life style is exactly what society is moving towards since people are growing tired of being in temporary relationships when they just want sex. This prevents people's feelings from being hurt since both parties know from the start that they are just enjoying the moment.
The Virginity exception
The only time I believe sex should be viewed as something special is when someone is still a virgin. Sex is a new experience that should take place with someone that is willing to guide you through it and help you improve in the future. Men are more likely to want to lose it as quickly as possible but women get the opportunity sooner. I personally would prefer someone that will show me the ropes and then move onto the next girl instead of going for women when I'm sexually inadequate.
Sociosexual restriction is an antiquated notion used as a form of oppression
Sociosexual restriction has always been forced onto people, whether it be by their family or by their government. From an early age every boy and girl is told that they will one day find that one person whom they will marry and live the rest of their lives with. Both men and women that eventually want to get married take this notion very seriously. There are still quite a bit of people, on GAG especially that are saving themselves for someone special. The main problem with this is that two people's sexual desires and performances are not always compatible. This would lead to resentment from both sides and eventually a divorce.
Here are a few stories from people that were disappointed with waiting till marriage.
I Regret Saving Sex for Marriage
One Story that Shows Why Waiting Until Marriage is a Bad Idea
Sociosexual restriction also was something forced onto people by totalitarian governments. One of the most notable was Maoist China. Today the Chinese are discovering what it means to have sex and that it is more than just procreation. This documentary shows what happens when a society is forced into conforming to the standards of sociosexually restricted individuals.
Physical attraction vs Emotional attraction
This is where the prude sociosexually restricted individuals get confused. The body of every individual is like a work of art, there are many ways to appreciate it but the most common way is to have sex. As a heterosexual man I can tell you that whenever I see a nice pair of breasts or a nice butt that I must resist the urge to touch otherwise I will get into a lot of trouble :D.
Much as I find bacon to be delicious and love to eat it the same goes for someone I'm physically attracted to but not emotionally. I do not have any emotional connection to my food, I just eat it. I would obviously prefer good tasting food, but if I'm hungry I'll eat anything as long as it doesn't taste bad. The same goes with physical attraction. Sex is a physical act between two individuals involving stimulation of the genital organs. It fulfils a basic urge which allows a man or woman to ejaculate. The emotions behind the act are a social construct and not a natural occurence.
Sidenote: If you insist on commenting on how you find Hooters to be degrading to women. Remember it was their choice to work their and there is a male version as well. The male version is called Tallywackers but I'm pretty sure it's a gay bar.
Loving someone's personality is just another form of attraction. If you have friends (which I'm hoping you do) you will notice that there are personality traits that you like about them, maybe even love about them. Whether it be their sense of humour, confidence, intellect and e.t.c. However you would never date them because they are either of the same-sex or you friend-zoned them for one of many possible reasons.
The white one says Benevolent.
Everybody searches for someone that they can love for both their body and personality. Sociosexually unrestricted individuals such as myself divide those that only fall into one category as either someone you have sex with or someone you are friends with. This allows for both physical and emotional feelings to be satisfied.
Polyamorous/Open relationships
Sociosexually unrestricted individuals such as myself are more likely to want to be in a polyamorous relationship. Polyamory means many loves. It is the practice of engaging in several emotionally and sexually intimate relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamory differs from adultery because all the partners know about each others' lovers, so there is no secrecy or feeling of betrayal. Polygamy, is unrelated and is often confused as a synonym. Polygamy means being married to more than one person.
An open relationship is a relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others. So by definition polyamory is a type of open relationship, there are several others but in this take I will only discuss polyamory.
Polyamorous couples are very aware of the fact that one partner does not have to be absolutely everything to them because they can go outside a relationship to have their needs fulfilled emotionally or sexually. They are often more open to having other needs fulfilled by other people, instead of defaulting to the kind of codependence that grows between a monogamous couple which places a lot of pressure on both partners to maintain the relationship. Each partner contributes something different whether it be emotionally, sexually or both. Open couples make an effort to have difficult and uncomfortable conversations because there is no room for jealousy in an open relationship. It is vital to identify personal insecurities and fears and take responsibility for each others feelings.
Players, a result of sociosexual restriction
Players are men or women who seek casual sex but go about getting it through manipulation of sociosexually restrictied individuals. They are very experienced and know exactly what to say to get into someone's pants.
Take Barney Stinson for example, specifically the part where he says "I wish I could marry commitment" and the ending of the video. Barney is not the commitment type, his relationships and sexual adventures in the tv show How I Met Your Mother clearly demonstrate that. What he does to have sex with a woman is immoral in my opinion since it hurts the feelings of the women that are against casual sex. The counter of his sexual conquests in this video is a bit off since it sometimes counts a woman twice.
Players exist because if they were upfront about their intentions they would never get laid. The video below is a social experiment in which a man asks 100 girls for sex. All of them say no, which leads men especially to believe that the only way to have casual sex is by manipulating a girl.
Now when a woman did the same thing she had positive responses. There were still a lot of men that were opposed to having casual sex, but not as many as women.
Common responses from the previous myTake
Women have a lot more to lose since they can get pregnant and/or get STDs/STIs
The reason most women are against casual sex is because they feel like they have a lot more to lose while a man can just move onto the next woman.
To this I have a very simple response
CONDOMS USE THEM
In a two-year study of sero-discordant couples (in which one partner was HIV-positive and one was HIV-negative), no uninfected partner became infected among couples using condoms correctly and consistently at every act of vaginal or anal sex versus 10 percent of those using condoms inconsistently.
According to the CDC, when used consistently and correctly, latex condoms are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV and many other STDs/STIs. The effectiveness if used correctly is about 97%.
You can also always ask your partner to get tested for STDs/STIs in order to be 100% certain that you won't catch anything.
Condoms are also 98 percent effective in preventing pregnancy when used correctly, every time.
Another thing that prevents pregnancy is taking birth control pills.
According to WebMD "when taken correctly, it is up to 99.9% effective.".
Now I know what you're thinking "He keeps saying "when used correctly" but there is no guarantee that people will and when they don't the effectiveness drops by 10%".
How to Use a Condom Consistently and Correctly: (According to the CDC)
- Use a new condom for every act of vaginal, anal and oral sex throughout the entire sex act (from start to finish). Before any genital contact, put the condom on the tip of the erect penis with the rolled side out.
- If the condom does not have a reservoir tip, pinch the tip enough to leave a half-inch space for semen to collect. Holding the tip, unroll the condom all the way to the base of the erect penis.
- After ejaculation and before the penis gets soft, grip the rim of the condom and carefully withdraw. Then gently pull the condom off the penis, making sure that semen doesn't spill out.
- Wrap the condom in a tissue and throw it in the trash where others won't handle it.
- If you feel the condom break at any point during sexual activity, stop immediately, withdraw, remove the broken condom, and put on a new condom.
- Ensure that adequate lubrication is used during vaginal and anal sex, which might require water-based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants (e.g., petroleum jelly, shortening, mineral oil, massage oils, body lotions, and cooking oil) should not be used because they can weaken latex, causing breakage.
That is why before getting intimate both parties MUST learn how to use contraception properly and MUST discuss with their partner whether he/she has STDs/STIs, whether both parties will use contraception (condom and pill) or just one and what they will do in the event of a pregnancy. Think of it as your terms and conditions but unlike the one's for using a website or software I suggest you pay attention to them.
I'm not jealous of another woman for having lots of sex, I can have lots of sex with my boyfriend and still call a promiscuous woman a slut because I don't approve of her life choices. Sex has lost its value, because it's just for pleasure and fun. A girl who gives in too fast and too easily becomes: A slut. Something with less value. And even though men don't get that title officially, I've never seen a promiscuous man easily get a nice and respectful girl. Beauty goes away and most people regardless of gender someday will wish for a marriage or something a little bit more steady.
Well I'm glad you claim that you can have lots of sex but I'll leave it to your boyfriend to verify whether this is true. You could have been much better in bed if you had practice with other people since everyone brings something different sexually. As for slut shaming what right have you to judge someone on how they live their life. Hateful people such as yourself tend to live much more miserable lives than promiscuous women since while they focus on having fun you use all of your energy to hate.
In the previous take I talked about how slut shaming was caused by jealousy, I have come to the conclusion that this is not 100 percent accurate as claimed by Psychology Today.
According to Psychology today
the term "slut," sometimes its use had no connection to sexual activity—it was a way to say “I don’t like that person," or, "You’re different from me.” When higher-status women used the term against lower-status women, it often simply meant “low-class” or “trashy.” When a lower-status women used it to refer to a higher-status one, it often meant something more along the lines of “snobby” or “mean.”
Now another part of slut shaming also comes from women not liking that men can get sex easier. These women believe that sex is something special that must be earned and that promiscous women are giving it away for free. Their problem with this is that it liberates men from the obligations that would come with a relationship and see sex as a form of payment for being faithful. As I stated earlier in this take, not everyone wants a relationship, there are quite a lot of men and more recently women that only want sex and nothing else. Using sex as a reward for being in a commited relationship is evil in my opinion, people should be getting sex regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not. This monopoly on sex which sociosexually restricted women still posess is causing a lot of sociosexually unrestricted men depression since they must please a woman before being pleased themselves. This has lead to cheating and resentment with some men giving up sex all together.
This is called Men Going There Own Way (MGTOW)
And here is why women hate MGTOW
MGTOW is the response of sociosexually unrestricted men to sociosexually restricted women controlling their sex lives. More and more sociosexually unrestricted men are choosing this option. So much so that it has become a problem in Japan. The goal is to get women to switch from being sociosexually restricted to being socoiosexually unrestricted. Now I'm not an MGTOW but I have to admit what they are doing is very noble and I hope that sociosexually restricted people become the minority instead of remaining an oppresive majority.
As for a stable relationship, what's wrong with an open relationship? I mentioned it in detail earlier in this take and I believe it is the most stable type of relationship a person can be in.
The problem with this is that when these sluts will realize how they destroyed their chance to be happy in the long run, it will be too late.
When beauty will start fading away, they won't find a valuable man to settle with, because no valuable man is foolish or desperate enough to get a walking cumbucket as a life partner.
But once again... it will be too late to change anything when they will be capable of realizing this on their own.
Kind of like when heavy smokers suddenly discover they have cancer and they're gonna die... It's too late.
Smoking and sex are two completely different things. Smoking is almost guaranteed to kill you while condoms can protect you from STIs/STDs very well as mentioned above. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by valuable man. If you mean a sociosexually restricted man than I have to disagree that your prudishness makes you more valuable than a sociosexually unrestricted man. It's quite the opposite actually, since women tend to prefer men with experience which is why they tend to date older guys. A woman can always be in a polyamorous relationship so she doesn't have to settle for one man and looks don't fade away that quickly if she takes good care of herself.
I wish I could write more responses but apperantly there is a length limit. I hope you enjoyed myTake.
What Girls & Guys Said
11 19I'm demi sexual and can never have casual sex
Your sexual lifestyle is total opposite of mine.
If I don't feel an emotional connection with someone I can't have sex with them.
Can you explain what a demi-sexual is?
A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It's more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality.
So most women are demi sexual then.
I dont know. I really hate todays view on sex and relationships. I feel like people lose the ability to go on real dates, have real relationships and keep value in those.
These days its all about getting fucked and tinder and so fucking superficial. Its sad. And that comes from someone who has had a wild past herself. I did it, and i regret it so much. I am married now. And my husband changed me for the better. I love sex, but its 1000000x better when its with someone you love.
I don't care what kind of sexual activity someone does or does not engage in. It's their business. I have the same respect for a woman who waits until she is married to have sex, as i do for a woman who prefers casual hookups. If she is happy and doing what she wants, well i admire anyone who not only thinks but acts for themselves.
In terms of your last mytake, and why women hate "sluts"... I don't hate anyone. But i do worry about these girls, (to clarify, I'm not defining slut as someone who has many sexual encounters. Because that's not what it means. Slut is a derogatory term. It means someone who engages in socially unacceptable sexual acts. Notice i said socially, so it's not the acts themselves but the judgment of those acts and this will vary depending on who you are with.) I've met girls who like casual sex, are happy and confident and choose what they are doing. I have also met girls whose sexual history is a list of guys who started making out with her while she was passed out. Situations which just seem like they weren't having sex because they wanted to or were really into it, but because they felt obligated to, they felt pressured to or they couldn't be bothered to put up much of a fight and figured just letting the guy fuck them would be easier. I've heard all these stories, and i don't hate these girls, they just make me sad. They make me feel bad for them. I personally haven't made those decisions, and i certainly haven't walked a mile in their shoes (so i'm never going to be mean to these girls or treat them any differently than anyone else), they're still usually really lovely intelligent people and great friends. I would never call them a slut. But i can understand why someone else might think that.
Waiting until marriage to have sex isn't always bad. I did, and I'm glad that I did for a multitude of reasons. My wedding night was so perfect. And when my husband and I make love I feel so insanely close to him and I'm giddy for hours afterward. I wouldn't have wanted that with anyone else.
awww :D
you bring nothing new on the table. you just sum up the ethical degeneration of modern society. the "sociosexually restricted" (its not even a term) people are not some kids living in their own dreamworld. their views are much more realistic. if you ve degenerated as a person so low as to think things like "sex is just sex", "emotional commitment is unesecary", "promiscuity is good for society" etc then it's only normal you are completely out of touch with the opposite mindset. you simply live in parallel worlds.
as for ridiculous statements as those they are at least comical: "having sex with more partners makes you better at sex" (1. it ain't true 2. like sex is our lifepurpose), and "restriction is a means of opression and control" (oh come on with the pseudo-marxist bs, religious people don't do it out of opresion but for their love and respect of God. even atheists choose it due to their personal philosophy), or "emotional attachment is a social construct" (maybe for you that killed any heart and spirituality you had inside... .)
I actually wanted to address this viewpoint in myTake but there wasn't enough room. For ethical degeneration to be possible there must be clear morals outlined for everyone to follow. That is called moral universalism. I however believe in ethical relativism which states that everyone has their own morals. "having sex with more partners makes you better at sex" (1. it ain't true 2. like sex is our life purpose)" I disagree, people that tend to have more sex especially with other people try new things an are therefore better. Sex is the biological need of every human being that is not asexual. It may not be our life's purpose but we definitely need to do it, much as we need to eat.
"pseudo-marxist bs, religious people don't do it out of oppression but for their love and respect of God" Marxism is all about economic equality and abolishing capitalism, I'm all about giving everyone an easy access to sex without the use of a prostitute. So if god said sex is only for procreation you wouldn't have it?
sex in christianity is much more sacred and ascended than any mundane theory. it's the loving meeting of two psychosomatic beings that were united with the blessing of God, and become co-creators together with the Creator to provide the physicaland spiritual material needed for a new human to be born. anything else is a perversion. food exists so that our physical body can keep on going, but many fall to gluttony, the pathological lust for food. as in ancient rome, were the "nobles" put their fingers deep in their throats, vomitted, so that they can lust over food again jsust for the feeling of it. if you isolate only pleasure from sex you make a similar perversion. to understand the spiritual componenet and elevation of sex, you must be a spiritual person in the first place. there are christian couples that pray on the inside when they have sex. sex is not dirty by nature. people make it dirty by mixing it with passions of the soul and isolating it from God. sex, in conrast with th
.. with the puritan ethics, is not sinful on it's own. it's sinful when it is isolated from God and spirituality. God says, "my child, let me bless your life, let me embrace with my grace every aspect of it". sin is not specifically something you do. in orthodox christian thought, sin is every thought, word and action a person does when he/she is in the grace of God. sinning is not an action, it's a way of living. if you haven't had the godly tears of repentance, if you never oce had an elevated, true spiritual experience that reassures you we are called for more than the world teaches us, then there is no point talking about sex, or sinning or anything in general. only under the light you see the painting. all the descriptions of the world will not help the blind picture the work of art. you have to touch it, feel it texture, smell its paints. thats what spirituality about, experience, not theory.
when he she isn't in the grace*
Well I'm an atheist so your religious laws don't apply to me. I have my own morals based of life experience instead of those given to me by a book.
Very interesting take. Like the Stinson addition and the part about trying different foods - that's a novel way of putting it!
This might be of interest to you: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a21657-three-is-the-magic-number-why-you-should-offer-him-a-threesome
"The goal is to get women to switch from being sociosexually restricted to being socoiosexually unrestricted. Now I'm not an MGTOW but I have to admit what they are doing is very noble"
How is that noble? You can't make anyone change that unless they want to. And most socially restricted women do not want to. You don't have to date a socially restricted woman just like a woman doesn't have to date socially unrestricted man. Just dom't try to change other people. Worry about your own life.
Great take. I can't agree more. I'm for sure a Sociosexual unrestricted despite growing up in a Christian family and still being Christian. Tallywackers is most definitely a gay bar lol. Sex is a basic need. Like you compared it to the food it's no different. Restraining it is like restraining food.
In some Christian cultures (and other cultures like the Jewish culture) they fast. Fasting means they restrain from eating or drinking or both for a certain amount of time. People who do this believe it allows them to draw closer to their god. I see sex as the same thing. They believe that by restraining from sex they are drawing closer to their god. Taking away their natural needs for the sake of spiritual enlightenment. I believe that while this may work for some people everybody can't do it.
There's a place in the mountains (I forgot where) where there are Christian monks who live there. They have no TV. No radio. No computers. No electric lights. Nothing. They eat fruits and things directly grown from the Earth. Sometimes they fast. They let their beards grow. They don't shave. They use very minimal technology and won't allow anyone to see them. Are they spiritually better than me? I don't know. Perhaps. I don't think everyone on Earth is made for that though. We all serve some purpose in life in my view.
Despite this I think our purpose in life is something we ourselves have to discover. So it's pointless to try to force people to negate their basic needs because you think they are spiritually better if they do. I believe one must figure out themselves what's best for them.
I agree that Sociosexual unrestricted people split people into two categories. Those we just want to be friends with and those we want intimacy with. I think the personality stuff is just a defensive mechanism. It's to say "See I don't think physical appearance matters. So long you have a bright and colorful personality that's all that matters." It's a lie. It's to make people you aren't actually attracted to feel better. They both matter. Personality and appearance both matter equally. People just lie so they don't sound like what they'd deem people like me and you would sound like.
Thanks, I wish you weren't anonymous though. I really don't get why so many women insist on being monogamous and forcing men to be that way. It's as if we must give into their insecurities.
Using contraceptives/condoms properly is very important. It should be taught in schools (idk if it is or not). Also the importance of staying away from STDs should be taught. I say what I told someone else, it only takes one person to get a STD. Sure the more people you have sex with the higher your chances (like the lottery), but it still only takes won ticket to win (or lose in this case). So even if you are a sociosexual restricted person you still have to be careful. That partner you've been dating for 6 months may have slipped into a girl or got filled by a guy some time or another while y'all were dating and ended up with something. You (hypothetically speaking) thinking this person is perfect and you're not a slut and you're in love and it could never happen to you because you're in a monogamous relationship would be foolish thinking. Sadly, I wouldn't be surprised if there are people out there like that.
That is exactly why I wrote the part about contraceptives and the terms.
The quote you posted "A girl gives in too fast." You mean gives into a basic need? I mean that's like saying "You're a horrible person because you don't starve yourself." Really? I've been with a nice and respectful girl too. Some respectful girls are very much so sociosexually unrestricted. Some have a career. Making shit loads more money than me. Going places. Business savvy. Intelligent. etc.
The quote was from a response from the previous myTake. Below I responded to it
I think a lot of sociosexual restricted people think players/cheaters are the same as people like us. They aren't. I tell girls up front that I don't want to be BF/GF with them. No manipulations. If they can't handle that oh well. Then again I guess my libido isn't the notorious stereotypical male high. Hell fucking yeah I'ma MGTOW. I give not fucks if girls don't like it. Why is it that when women "go there own way" in terms of being independent. Having goals. Not caring for the support of men. They get praised? Yet when a guy does this they get upset? Maybe they don't like it when the opposite gender wins at their game? For example me? I feel I'm the reward. Not the girl. In some cases that's different but in plenty of cases I feel if the girl wants me she should get me. I shouldn't HAVE to ask her out. Sorry but I took the red pill. I'm happy I took it.
Yeah I was hypothetically speaking in regards to the quote. It was my response to the person who you quoted.