Sexual Relationships 
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I typically refer to it as "sub space" myself, though there's no doubting that it is, indeed, little space. I just haven't quite reached the level of being comfortable enough to declare "I'm in little space", it's currently easier for me to say something has put me in sub space.
It is, as most know or have picked up on at this point, a product of the DD/LG dynamic of BDSM. That's "daddy dom / little girl" for those not in the know.
You're probably wondering, not entirely kindly, "What the fuck is this weird kinkster talking about - what is this little space?"
My definition, to keep it simple: it's when something is said to me that makes me feel tiny. Physically and emotionally. But not in the negative sense, in which someone talks down to you and makes you feel worthless. It's hard to explain the positivie sensation of feeling tiny, but I assure you - it isn't a negative one.
Common phrases that slip me into sub space are:
- "Good girl"
- "little one/thing"
- "I'm proud of you"
Of course for 2 out of 3 of those it depends entirely on who is saying it to me, and when I slip into sub space it doesn't necessarily mean I'm automatically going to be sexually submissive to whomever managed to put me there. It just means I'm less...rigid and more loose and carefree, creative and curious.
And when I'm in sub space, the #1 thing I need is attention. Preferably from daddy himself, but I'll usually settle for attention from anyone, something I've learned over the year plus that I've been in this type of dynamic with someone. If I don't get it, it doesn't take me long to spiral into a sour mood. Which usually in turn sucks me out of sub space.
Now let's talk about the different types of "littles" there are, because we are not one combined Cookie Cutter type.
1. There are the littles who like diapers, and pacifiers, and having their daddies read them bedtime stories, drinking out of sippy cups and actually wetting the said diapers they wear.
2. There are the littles who like coloring books, and disney movies, and having their daddies prepare their meals for them. Meals which usually consist of dinosaur chicken nuggets and cutesy little things of that nature.
3. There are the littles who don't necessarily like the pastel color scheme that is so often associated with someone being a little. They prefer black and purples, or blacks and reds. Doesn't make them any less of a little.
4. There are the littles who talk in babyish voices, and use childlike terminology. They'll say "dada", "pwease", etc.
5. There are independent littles, and there are needy and clingy littles.
Most littles will be a combination of all of the things I mentioned, and some will strictly either be type one or type two, etc. Regardless, we are the same and yet we are not, exactly, the same. We all have our moments where we pout because we haven't heard from our daddy and by god, we need him.
One of my favorite parts about being the LG in a DD/LG dynamic has to be the rules. Though there have been rules put in place in my particular situation, there have not been any established punishments made yet. Being a long distance thing, and the dynamic being applied to a friends with benefits situation, it's a little bit harder to figure out punishments and rules that can really stick.
Especially when I usually only get to speak with my daddy once a week. It's just not really practical for rules to be followed and punishments to be doled out, but it still gives me a sense of purpose when I look at the rules that were drafted and discussed.
Which is something big. Needing a sense of purpose, feeling like I've accomplished something to make my daddy happy - let me tell you, nothing in turn makes me happier.
I don't expect anyone outside of this nook of the BDSM community to really grasp what I'm saying and understand it fully, but this whole dynamic is about pleasing someone and feeling protected. It's about having someone who cares about you, and gives you guidance.
It's not - for every duo involved - about replacing a girls father figure in her life. While some couples may choose to take it to that level, it for the most part is just a gentler version of having a master/slave dynamic.
Being a gentler, more lenient version of the master/slave dynamic, there are obviously some bleed throughs. Collars being my favorite, for instance. If you wear a collar, you're basically telling people you're owned. You have a daddy or a master or a sir. However you may refer to him. Collars can also come into the picture if a couple partakes in pet play, though I don't know anything about that dynamic so I'll leave it at that mention.
The punishments and rules are also dynamics that bleed through between M/S and DD/LG. The difference being that daddy dom's are going to be less cruel in their punishments, but still strict nonetheless in them.
And that, perhaps, is why this works so well for me. Because sometimes I enjoy the intensity of the master/slave dynamic, and other times I like the cute feeling I can acquire when I dip into sub space.
With all of that being said, I think I've covered a good chunk of what little space and the dd/lg dynamic is about... for me. I in no way covered everything that comes along with it, and there are people out there who are way more versed on the topic than I. But I like to think after a year of it, I've got a pretty good idea of what it is I've been in practice with.
What Girls & Guys Said
11 19Why do people take this shit so seriously, just call him your boyfriend and talk like a normal couple then go weird when you sext or fuck irl. Stop making it have to be a 24/7 thing lmao.
No dude, it's different. My primary partner is as you describe. She doesn't do roll play, or fantasies or any of that. She just sees a dude, likes him, fucks him, no problems. But then I am in the bdsm scene too, with another girl and her thinking and what they do are so different. She begs me to belt her. She gets turned on by playing a "kitten", she gets turned on by me dictating to her. Some people love this and submit to this.
@Scrambledagain outside of the bedroom that's abuse.
Outside of bedroom it's abuse? It's all about consent, not place or time. Consent.
@MrBenefits If you are 'dominating' your 'daughter' outside of the sexual activities it is abuse. I don't care if she stays with you, it is an abusive relationship.
When you are dominant, you realize that the submission and care of the person you are with is a gift. They are trusting you. If you're a dom and you're only interested in your needs? Your sub is going to leave you because you have taken something very precious and very crucial to who they are and you've taken it for granted. Especially in a 24/7 relationship, a good dom in a healthy relationship is going to bust their ass to make sure their sub feels loved and cared for and respected because this person is SO INCREDIBLY TRUSTING OF YOU that they willingly gave you control over aspects of their life to show you their devotion. You. Do. Not. Fuck. With. That.
@Winesteed that had nothing to do with what i said lmao
@Winesteed Also I am dominant, and I'm giving just as much of a 'gift' to my sub' as they are to me. I dont owe them anything other than my dominance and vice versa. The rest is on top of it.
My response was geared towards the person who was talking about abusive relationships in a D/s, @FilthyPervert, but! Since you addressed me: My response also had to do strictly with a "You should treasure your fucking sub because s/he isn't something you can throw away" and was trying to highlight that D/s relationships aren't abusive by nature. I'm not insinuating that there is an inherent inequality and that all doms are just waiting for some butterfly submissive to flutter on and grace them with their presence. I'm sorry if that's what you got out of my message, I'll be more clear next time.
Furthermore, @FilthyPervert, if you are actually having a relationship with someone (whether it be a romantic relationship or a relationship that is based solely on mutual play) you DO owe your submissives something more than just your dominance. You owe them respect because they are in your care. I don't know how your relationships with your subs work, but with me? This person is being vulnerable so I'm not going to use someone like a vibrator with a pulse and throw them away. Sub drop, much? For some people, their submission/dominance goes further than the bedroom and is an inherent part of who they are and how they function. A 24/7 is not a gigantic latex-wearing sex party all the time and it is something both parties have agreed to. There's a reason that it's called "the lifestyle" because it IS a lifestyle. Contracts are drawn, boundaries are laid, and even then there is a tap out. If you don't want to go 24/7? Great! But don't shame people for living differently
@Winesteed They owe me respect and care too, it's not a one way street.
@Winesteed contracts for a relationship, jesus christ the stupidity that 50 shades has brought on the world
Psssst, this has been around longer than Fifty Shades of Gray go hop on Fetlife and talk to people in a 24/7. Just sayin', get your facts right. Also, talk about some major fragility issues here. Did I ever say that doms weren't worthy of respect? In any relationship, there has to be an exchange of respect. Having respect for another person isn't a D/s thing, it is a person/person thing. FURTHERMORE: a contract is an act of laying out boundaries and expectations and consequences of certain actions. It is either verbally or written. Every relationship has a contract. Every. Single. One.
It is not an abusive relationship. Rules are Layed out. Boundaries are not crossed. Being a daddy is being a protector.
Guys don't waste your time trying to convince a troll to open his mind. Geeze, just look at his username and age... Obvious troll is obvious. Some of us enjoy being whipped choked and spanked. This "filthypervert" enjoys pissing people off on the interwebs. That's his fetish.
@dragonfly6516 I like to dominate people too but not be someone's father unless i'm their father.
@dragonfly6516 Damn it, I encouraged troll boners.
@Winesteed Here ya go. I imagine it would look something like this:
https://i.imgur.com/PEsInab.jpg
@dragonfly6516 keep imagining, you're not getting any, be it human or troll.
@dragonfly6516 Not gonna lie, I'm pretty sure I'd give a guy a chance if he said "Hey, babe, wanna see my gerkin?"
That's right! My dom is real demon beast and we do some pretty kinky shit, very sinful! I'm a very naughty girl, and Sir always rewards me for it!
You may need to find another name for that feeling, BDSM people might mistake it for subspace which is something completely different from your take.
This is a nice roleplay and i like it also!!
This helped me understand that lifestyle. It makes it seem even more sick and twisted.
To each their own.
Doesn't make it any less disgusting.
Your opinion. Have a nice day, kid.
Same to you!!!
It ain't for me either, but like she said hey to each their own.
@Joc4Position agreed
too much fet hun
and too much tumblr
Like I said, hun; it's what it is to ME. Not what it standardly is in general. Read a bit closer and you would've grasped that, hun.
I know im joking I was a DOM once so I understand
I'm a daddy
I like the whole collars thing and it would be great to try this out once. But I don't think I could deal with being in a complete DDLG relationship.
"Collaring" is present in all forms of BDSM. DDLG, however is just one flavor of BDSM. There are tons of great links for research in a simple Google search.
@dragonfly6516 Okay?
I just found out recently that this particular dynamic is a big turn on for me. My little asked me to be her official "daddy" yesterday, and I've been casually searching contracts and collars and such. My biggest hurdle for this aspect of the lifestyle was the first time I was having "interactive story time" with a lady friend and she called said "Harder, daddy". The first thing that popped into my head was the star wars meme, where Vader was force choking the guy, and he said "Harder daddy". When I finally stopped laughing, I realized just how much I enjoyed hearing it, and I'm glad I was able to move past my apprehensive feelings. @teawreck, thank you for posting such a wonderful perspective on this. I look forward to reading more from you in the future!